Comments on: Mother Talk

By: Mimi

Mimi — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:11:16 +0000

I’m of the “sandwich generation”. Let me tell ya about being pulled in different directions: My aging mom and handicapped sibling living 8 hours away, my husband who travels a lot, grown kids in different states, the youngest and her child living with us, and pets. Do I feel pulled? I’d like to have a cloning machine! LoL

I’m here to tell ya that it will *never* get better, so enjoy each saving grace moment as it comes. It’s the only way women survive. Blessings to you and your guys. Thought of y’all thru the tsunami warnings, and so very glad it wasn’t as bad as predicted! Be strong!

By: Shannon-Nicole

Shannon-Nicole — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:53:57 +0000

This is what I LOVE about this blog…It’s more than just a communication with a favorite author, it’s real people sharing their real stories and giving real support. Reading your posts, both Jane and contributers, I have felt less lonely and isolated during those ‘mommy times’ when I feel as if I’m lost and am just at these little ones beck and call. I’ve also gotten some great ideas from the readers on balancing life.
Thanks to you ALL!
One of the Shannons

By: Jane

Jane — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:30:51 +0000

I’m here to announce the winner of the blog contest. Drum roll please…

#9 Mary N you’ve won a fun Hawaii prize package!

Please email me your mail address ASAP so I can send you your goodies before I fly back to Seattle Thursday morning. And when you email me your address, let me know which book of mine you’d like, and how you’d like it signed (to you, a friend, your mom, etc).

Congrats, Mary and thanks to all for participating!

Jane

By: eileen

eileen — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:14:21 +0000

interesting stuff. Only one woman admits she doesn’t feel guilty about having adult needs. I like the statement that everyone has different needs and noone is better- just different. I grew up with a mom that made it no secret that she didn’t want to “just be a mother”. I always wanted a doting mom like all my friends. I really missed that. As an adult I decided to take on the philosophy that everything in life has pros and cons. I decided to look at it as a positive and how that upringing probably led me to travel around alot which I enjoyed. Perhaps that upbringing is why I never had the urge to be a parent. Maybe I’m fooling myself but it’s all in how you look at things and I just decided I would look at everything in life as having pros and cons and try to just accept things as is. Anyway- ironically I always feel guilty about not living where my parents live even though they also didn’t live where their parents live. I try to tell myself that I should not feel guilty for living where I want to live- but the guilt doesn’t go away… strange. Anyway- sorry you have to go through that guilty feeling. I’m sure you are a super mom and your boys are super confident and secure and loving and doing just fine. Try not to worry.

By: Kirsten

Kirsten — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:48:42 +0000

I have two daughters that are 10 years apart. They each have issues with things I have done or do with the other. Nothing bit but enough to drive me crazy. That old saying about if Mom isn’t happy, no one is happy holds true. If I give so much that I have nothing left for myself everyone feels it.

It is a fine balance between teaching them to take care of themselves and feeling like you didn’t do enough. It is so hard. There are days I know I should let them be…how can they be strong and confident if I do too much? And then there are days that I think why didn’t I do that for them?

We are human and one thing you realize is you make mistakes. Sometimes big ones, some not so much. You survive and they will, too.

My husband has some worries about things but not as much.

By: Monica/Monie

Monica/Monie — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:02:15 +0000

I think its normal to be torn and feel that you can’t do enough for your kids. Life is crazy. My daughter turns 15 today and my son will be 13 in a month. I am lucky enough to stay home but I made the decision to put my kids first after I thought I wouldn;t be able to have any. I don’t regret it but I think some days I can’t do enough and some days I do too much! They & my husband are spoiled having me home. But yet I still feel guilty taking time for myself like going to Zumba dance class twice a week! I have always had a problem with taking time for myself like that. I can’t believe how long I have been working on my book — that I have to change some things because it is incrediblt dated — because I put it off when I had things to do for the kids and was unable to focus on writing.

Saturday my husband and I spentthe day at our rental property to get it ready to sell. We came home to a clean house and love notes all over the door saying how much and why our kids loved us! That was a huge affirmation!

We are all pulled in so many dorections and spend so much time driving our kids around and cheering them on, cracking the homework whip, helping with projects and even cuddling on the couch and watching a movie. I think as long as our kids know that we love them and that we do the best we can it is the best!

Jane and all your blog friends~
You are all fabulous women and you are all loved and the best you can be!!!

XOXO
Monie

By: Janelle Wolf

Janelle Wolf — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 09:09:58 +0000

It’s too late to ask my mom tonight what it was like for her and how she felt, but she became a single parent shortly after I was born when my father passed away. As the child of a parent who became the sole provider to myself and my 2 sisters, I think she did an awesome job of juggling her responsibilities. I won’t say that at times I was happy that she couldn’t be there like other parents were for their kids at events or fundraisers, but I think for the times that she had to be absent, it was understandable. And in the end it provided a base for me to become the independent, self-reliant and strong individualistic creative person I am today.

Your children know you love them with all of your heart and they also know that writing is a part of who you are, makes you who you are. You inspire them to pursue their dreams as you pursued yours. When it comes down to it, when they truly need you to be there for them (not that they don’t need you all of the time now, but when it’s imperative), they will know that they can count on you because of that love.

By: sue m.

sue m. — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 08:31:14 +0000

I think all women feel this way. There is always so much pressure on us. Sometimes I wish I could be a guy, they seem so carefree. Although, I am proud of everything I’ve always done for my kids and all the times I’ve been there. I wouldn’t change those crazy times for anything!

By: kari n.

kari n. — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 05:27:07 +0000

I think it is normal for moms to feel “pulled” and guilty. With all that is going on these days, I don’t know how you couldn’t. I am a stay at home mom and I go non-stop everyday. It seems like I never have enough time in the days to accomplish everything I want to. I just have to remind myself one day, when my kids are off on their own, I will be bored to death! I think it’s wonderful you have so much love for your children and writing. That’s the way it should be and you shouldn’t feel guilty at all!

By: Kim Taylor

Kim Taylor — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 05:08:40 +0000

I know the feeling of being pulled both directions. I have a junior in college at Cal Poly and a Junior in high school and I don’t think it ever stops. One needs me here in Tulare and one needs me in San Luis Obispo. I try to be there for both of my beautiful daughters and they both know I love them equally yet differently. One is my first born and one is my baby.
I take each day as it come and am thankful for every moment I am given with my children. Thank you for all the insight you give to all of us.