Juicy

I’m really grumpy. It might be the dieting–my body isn’t used to this, thinks it’s just plain wrong to be deprived and I quietly agree but am hoping my determination didn’t hear that–and it might be the writing. Which isn’t happening. Because a) I’m dieting and hungry and tired, and b) I’m without childcare and busy and stressed.

BUT, seeing as the above is part of life, I still have to find a way to write, especially as my agent and Warner editor are both impatiently waiting for the new proposal to be finished.

Well, I’m waiting, too. Take a number. Get in line.

I have been working on the proposal. It’s just that I’m operating under the peculiar 2+1= -5 writing practice at the moment. And writers know what this is. It’s where you write 2 new paragraphs, add it to the page you already had and suddenly, after making a few changes and a couple revisions, you’re minus five pages.

Let me say that again for those of you who aren’t Aquarian: my writing right now is subtracting pages from the accumulated pages. Somehow. Because nothing sounds good, and it doesn’t quite work. And I’m trying not to edit as I write, but I can’t totally silence the critic who is murmuring over my shoulder,  “Hmmm, that’s rather bad, isn’t it? Doesn’t exactly say anything, and might make sense in chapter 6, but here? And who are these characters? Have you even established motivation. I don’t think so. And is this woman, Taylor, likeable? Noooooo. Not really. Not at all.” And so on. Suffice it to say, I’m not getting a lot done.

So I’m yawning and staring at the ceiling and wondering if my jeans are starting to fit a little better. (They’re not. And why not? Five days dieting and I should have at least dropped two clothes sizes. Huh.)

To make matters worse, my agent’s words keep ringing in my head, too. “Juicy. Write something juicy,” she says. And I love Karen Solem, she’s a brilliant agent and has helped me sell two books to Warner now. But there are times I want to jump up on my desk and snarl like a rabid dog/wolf (so much more visually interesting to add a wolf to the dog, don’t you think?). “Why don’t you write something juicy, Karen? And I’ll see if I can sell it.”

Obviously I can’t do that. For one, I can’t exactly spring on top of my desk. My back would seize up. And two, there’s not enough room due to my desktop to really pull off a rabid canine, although I still think the dog/wolf visual is a good one.

So, I’m going to write something juicy, like the theme song from Desperate Housewives. (juicy….) and if I can’t do that, then I�ll just pull out the blender and make a delicious Mango Daiquiri.