Internet Addict

I know there are recovery groups for everything. I’m looking for help for an internet addiction. The internet makes me manic. I can’t get off email and MySpace. Worse, I believe I’ve become a MySpace whore. Or Hoor if you want to be polite.

I never intended on becoming a Hoor of the internet. I thought I’d use it for business and basic communication and be done with it. But the closer I get to a new book being published, the more I panic. What if no one buys it? What if its crap? What if I get another Kirkus Review that calls me the worst writer on the fact of the planet (or something to that effect)?

Hedging my bets I’m taking a two prong approach to handle the quiet, but mounting, hysteria:

1) Try to make new friends on MySpace

2) Call those that are already my close friends and ask them point blank if they’ll remain my friend even if my career tanks in October.

I don’t know that either approach is working. Yes, I now have 502 MySpace friends but let’s face it, 90% are authors and 90% of those aren’t going to buy my books. And for the friends that I’ve called and asked if they’ll remain my friend even if I have to return to teaching during the day and then at night start working as a waitress (or in Nordstroms lingerie), well, they’re not going to tell me point blank that they’ll drop me. They’ll just drop me.

So what’s a girl to do? Buy friends?

Maybe if I hired five hundred friends I’d have some peace…

Hmmm, that sounds wrong. Hoorish again.

All right. I give up. I’m doing a reality check here. Working on both the ego and fragile self-esteem. Things happen. Can’t control everything. Can’t even seem to control me.

But here and now I propose some changes: No more internet trawling late at night trying to find compatible reader friends at My Space. No more calls to friends asking for a disaster down payment. Life ain’t about security. Even if we are pushed to buy insurance for everything.

With that said, if anyone, should want to befriend me at MySpace, please do. Leave me a comment. I love it. Makes me feel loved. And besides, I seem to spend more time at MySpace than writing my newest book which means you might only have MySpace emails to read from me instead of books if I don’t start cracking the whip.

PS. Karen K, my dear editor, I’m not saying that being a MySpace Hoor is good thing. Far from it.

PPS If anyone has a Twelve Step Program for Internet Addiction, do send my way. I’m going to need help. Even if it’s wrong, I’ve rather enjoyed being a MySpace Hoor. (Karen K, that last comment wasn’t meant for you.)