Jane's Blog - Page 83 of 93 - Jane Porter | New York Times & USA Today Bestselling Author

Homecoming

August 1, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

Until this week I hadn’t written consistently, or very much, in a long time.

I hadn’t done the real writing that connects me back inside my self, the writing that cements soul to skin. Instead I’ve been doing marketing things, promo things, the things I’d rather have a publicist do but there are few publicists who can do what I can do (especially at my excellent rate), so I’ve done the Flirting with Forty promo myself. But the problem with PR and promo is that there is no end. However, a book does has an ending, and at some point, after much writing and rewriting, you reach a conclusion, a resolution, and the end is good. The end gives peace. Self-esteem. Because you’ve done something very hard to do, you’ve done something it took you years and years to learn to do.

Promo is different.

Promo can’t be easily measured and the results can’t be measured and there’s no way to know what was most effective, what resulted in actual book sales and what was just a bunch of ego stroking exercises.

I’ve been tired for months. The kind of tired where the body feels under siege but now I’m writing again and I’m beginning to feel like me again. I know how to do this writing thing. Even when I don’t.

I know how to put words down even when I’m not sure why I’m doing this. Because my mind does. My subconscious mind, even w hen it’s not communicating with my conscious mind, has a crazy half-cocked plan that actually turns out to be something good and sometimes quite beautiful.

This is why I say, if only because my good writer friends Barb and CJ and Tessa and Bronwyn all said the same thing in Atlanta, it’s time to write. It’s time to do what makes you, you, or me, me.

And true enough, as I write each, each word returns me to myself, bit by bit, word by word, sentence by sentence.

Words aren�t the answer for everyone. But for a writer who makes sense out of the chaos by lining the words up, by getting them out of her head and onto paper, it�s the right thing, the best thing, the only thing left to do.

A Perfect Day in Atlanta

July 31, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

Let me tell you about my favorite day in Atlanta last week during the RWA conference.

Esther Levine has been a media escort for twenty years and she knows the book business, particularly in Atlanta where she’s escorted many of the world’s most famous authors from airport to media appearance to book event.

And as I mentioned in my blog yesterday, Esther made me realize that the book industry isn’t like other businesses. You can’t expect it to behave logically, not when it’s something of a dinosaur among young Mammoths.

But Esther didn’t just sweetly chauffeur me from book store to book store, or introduce me to all the right people at each of the ten stores we visited, (and do it all so serenely that I truly relaxed for the first time in weeks), she also made me fall in love with Atlanta. I saw places I’ve got to return to, places like Sandy Springs and Roswell and glamorous Buckhead. I ate the best fried chicken of my life (buttermilk is the secret) and amazing homemade blackberry cobbler. I learned why so much of downtown Atlanta is new (how could I have forgotten that Sherman burned the city all those years ago?). I shook hands with people who were friendly and kind, and pestered Esther with questions about Southern manners, the great Southern literary tradition (I am a huge Eudora Welty fan) and what it’s like raising kids in Georgia.

And this I know: the book business isn’t just about selling books. It’s about meeting kindred spirits who love stories and books maybe even more than I do.

So if you’re an author going on a book tour, you must go to Atlanta, and you must call Esther Levine to schedule her immediately.

And don’t forget, whatever you do, to beg my new and wonderful friend Esther to take you to The Brickery Grill for genuine Southern fried chicken, and sinful peach pie or my favorite, warm sweet berry cobbler.

The Logic of Illogic

July 30, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

It took Ester Levine my media escort in Atlanta to make me see the light.

I am not going to have any control in this book industry.

And not only will I not ever have any control, I can not make any predictions although it’s entirely within my right to set some goals. Personal goals. And this week in Atlanta I was telling everyone my goals.

This week I wasn’t shy about anything.

And maybe it was stress, or nerves, or lack of sleep but I asked people things they didn’t want to answer, either because they couldn’t, or they were uncomfortable. And did that dissuade me? No. It just encouraged me to ask for clarification, for information, for explanation, even on topics that probably weren’t the most polite cocktail conversation.

And what were those topics? I wanted to know facts, numbers, results, plans, outcome. I wanted to know if I’m in this alone or if there are others at my publisher on the same page with me.

I know I really shouldn’t push or press. Not in beaded tops, not in cocktail dresses, not in pleated Grecians gowns. I should take the champagne flute and let the bubbles tickle my nose and be glad I’m published. Be glad I’ve got editors and contracts.

But it’s not that simple.

I burn to write. Burn to share. Burn to know if any one out there– any reader, any writer, any daughter, woman, mother understands.

Do others dream big? Do others want more?

My more means I want be widely read. Which means I need a big print run and books in stores so readers can find them, buy them.

More means job stability and help with the promo and publicity.

More means confidence and peace.

I realized at the conference that I’m building a writing career on childhood needs and dreams. And that is probably reckless and foolish, but I’ve had this internal compass so long I don;t know how to turn it off.

I don’t know that I want to turn it off.

I like being a writer. I like being a writer that believes passionately in writing warm, funny, touching stories for women. And if I’m going to write, then I’m going to just go for it. Just go until I can’t go any longer.

There are times I think I might be setting myself up for a spectacular failure because yes, my sights are high, so high, I could very well crash and burn.

But if that should happen, promise me you’ll pull up a chair and pretend it’s the 4th of July and watch the fireworks. Because I’m going for it, I’m charging ahead with every one of those little girl and teenage dreams. I’m going for the big books. The successful career. And the guy who will love me despite everything.

Will I get it? I don’t know. But we don’t get anything if we don’t dream, set the goal, and then go for it. And go for it, body and soul.

Not Daring to Sleep

July 21, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

When I was growing up, and even in college, I couldn’t bear to fall asleep on Christmas Eve or Christmas Night. I’d stretch out on the living room floor near the fireplace and watch the fire burn low, and with all the overhead lights off, look at the Christmas tree standing in the corner. Without my glasses (and they were very thick lenses!) the tree glowed with big round balls of red and blue and green and gold light. The stereo would be loaded with albums, and we had one of those record players that stacked albums a dozen at a time and they’d drop and play, one after the other. I’d lie there, hugging a pillow and listen to Nat and Bing, to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, to Julie Andrews and Johnny Cash and the night would press against the windows, and the fire would crackle, and I’d be there all by myself, holding my breath, unable to go to sleep because I couldn’t bear time passing, or Christmas coming and going so fast.

I feel a bit that way now. And it’s not Christmas I’m afraid will go, but the something good that is happening right now. And sometimes when one doesn’t really expect something good to happen, or hopes it’ll happen but knows there are no sure things, glimpses of good are almost unbearable.

Flirting with Forty is doing well, really well, and it’s only been out a week today but all week it’s had such a nice showing at Amazon, and then it showed up it’s first week at BookScan, and my agent said Flirting probably came close to hitting a list.

And so instead of sleeping, I sit at my computer and stare at the computer screen that shows Amazon’s numbers, and I’d heard about authors who did this, and I heard authors poke fun of themselves for doing this, but it’s hard to look away when something you’ve done, something you’ve written, is succeeding. Is being bought. Read. Tonight I even printed out the pages of Amazon’s bestsellers on July 20, 2006 so I’d have proof–something concrete to remind me–that good things happen, and that good things will happen.

Under the Top Sellers in Books Flirting flirted on the Literature & Fiction list at #59, tucked between Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five and Dan Brown’s Angels & Demons.

Under the Top Selling Romance at Amazon Flirting hit #11, appearing in the company of Nora, Nora, Nora, Janet E, Lisa Kleypas, Julia Quinn and a few others.

If you narrow the Romance list to bestselling Contemporary Romance, tonight Flirting at Forty jumped to #5, behind Nora, Nora, Nora, and Nora. And you can believe I printed that list, too.

Yes, I need to go to bed. Yes, I know these lists change hourly. And yes, Flirting with Forty won’t stay at #256 in sales forever, much less much longer, but it did hit #256 and it was popular on the romance list, and it even hit the impressive Lit Fiction list. And that’s something I’ve dreamed about for years. It’s something that seemed impossible, breathtakingly magical, a book that people read, and loved, and remembered.

And now with the house dark, and the children sleeping, and the windows open to let in the cooler night air, I sit in my office and hold my breath and tell myself don’t go to bed, don’t go to sleep. Not yet. Not when I might never have this moment again.

Just A Buck or Two

July 19, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

I sometimes do too much, multi-task a little too zealously, i.e. ask my kids not to be gaseous in my office while I’m writing a love scene, or return phone calls while making a purchase online, or pay online bills while listening to voice mail. Sometimes the multi-tasking is relatively successful, and other times I’m just horribly frazzled.

Today was one of those long office days where I start at 8 am and am still at my desk 8 hours later taking care of business stuff and business emails and personal bills. At six I finally had to break to feed the kids who had climbed into the car and begun honking the horn in hopes of finally pulling me away from the computer and into car for the take-out dinner I’d promised.

The honking did get my attention. But so did this little online banking error.

I paid Allied Waste in June $99.70 for my bill. I saw I had another bill saying I owed $3.70 but not to pay because I had a credit. The credit confused me. I looked at bill more closely and in red ink it was stamped twice, CREDIT DO NOT PAY. Cool, I thought, I’ve got a credit. One more bill I won’t have to pay for another month.

And then just as I’m putting the bill away with my paid July bills, something catches my eye. A certain figure in the amount of 9,870. I look again. I’ve a credit of $9.870.00. Wait a minute. A credit of nearly ten thousand dollars?

A credit of ten tttthhhhhhouuuuuusand dollars? That’s more money than well, I have in my checking account right now.

Very confused, I rush into my online banking program, check Allied Waste to see when I last paid, and how much I paid, and guess what? Allied Waste is rich! And I made them rich. I really paid them $9,870.00 in June instead of $99.70 and I didn’t even know it.

And you’re thinking, you stupid $@!#. How could you not notice your account was missing nearly ten thousand dollars?

And here’s my defense: I did. But I thought (because my online program is so good…) I’d blown it. Went through it on bills and medical and credit cards. And I’ve been so upset. Nearly all of June I felt so bad about myself. Felt like such a loser for going through money so fast and putting my family in the poor house. I’ve even been wondering where we might live come November if I didn’t have the money to pay my mortgage…

Now I know I didn’t blow it. Not entirely. I just sent my savings account to Allied Waste because I really like my garbage service and don’t want them to miss me on recycling pick up day.

Actually, Allied Waste wasn’t all that eager to give me my money back when I phoned them. They said since so much time had gone by, they figured I’d meant to send them that much money.

Meant to?

I can understand meaning to leave my goddaughter $10,000, I can understand donating $10,000 to Operation Smile or Christian Children’s Fund but Allied Waste?

Allied has promised to get me the money in three weeks. It seems like an awful long time to wait but at least I’ll have it back by September and happily, I’ll still have a garage come November. And that’s where my kids will be living if they don’t lay off that damn car horn!

Dishing with the Divas

July 17, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

I’ve just returned with my boys from Reno where we went for a day and a half to see my mom and catch up with my brother Thom, his wife Lee, and their two little girls. Thom lives in North Carolina and doesn’t get to the West Coast very often and my boys were dying to see their little girl cousins. And what cute little girls! They were so doll-like that my boys were almost afraid to play with them in case they broke.

But Reno wasn’t just a quickie mini-reunion, it included a booksigning at Barnes & Noble–hence my new guest blog today over at www.fogcitydivas.com.

Book signings are such strange things, sometimes so wonderful, sometimes so awful, and almost always exhausting. As I said in my new blog over at Fog City Divas, a well planned and tightly coordinated book event can be fantastic, but the work involved is ridiculous. I do so much to make sure my book events are as successful as possible but there are times I can’t do it all, or even enough, and there’s nothing worse than sitting at a card table with a mountain of books and no one in sight.

Please come visit me over at www.fogcitydivas.com and ask a question, toss in a comment, or just lurk. There are some brilliant writers hanging out over there and lots of very good friends.

Arrivals and Departures

July 13, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

The Flirting with Forty release party at Bellevue’s Barnes & Noble was great fun last night. We had about 70 people attend the bookstore event and about the same number drop in at Ooba Tooba’s for the Mai Tais and music, although not everyone attended both. Lots of the guys skipped the bookstore reading (can’t say I blame them) and just showed up at the restaurant for food and drink, and others just wanted to get a signed book but not party. I was simply thrilled that people showed up period.

I’d been increasingly nervous about party and book’s release–why I don’t know, but that’s me, a bona fide cortisol junkie–but an email from my editor yesterday morning helped me shift gears. She’d written to let me know the good news that the book has gone back for a third printing already, making it 32,000 copies for a book that doesn’t officially hit store shelves until today, which is fabulous. More than fabulous. I might finally start breathing again.

I’ve been worried. I mean, sure, I worry about everything, but this worry is different. This worry stemmed from the fact that Flirting wasn’t just putting a little toe in the water to test the temperature, it was a throwing of the whole self in. I’m not writing as many Harlequins as I used to and I don’t want to lose my readers. I love my readers. But what if my readers didn’t love what I’m writing now? What if my readers went away?

So far–and it’s only been a day, but you know me, always grasping eagerly at straws–they haven’t gone away. In fact, they–or those marvelous Redbook Magazine readers who’ve been reading the excerpts of Flirting in this summer’s magazine–have been buying lots of copies of Flirting. And it may never happen again, and it might just be a brief happy thing, so I’m going to share it, but over at Amazon Flirting tonight was ranked #886. If you’re Nora Roberts or Christine Feehan or Sophie Kinsella #886 might not be good, but for me, it’s brilliant. It’s tripping the light fantastic and I’m humbled and happy and grateful.

And hopeful.

I hope the book will continue to do well. It’s only been ‘out’ a day but it’s in 3x the number of bookstores Frog Prince was. It’s being carried by Costco and Target and it could be in your local bookstore, too.

So it’s good, all good, and there you have the arrival. Of Flirting. Of a larger print run. Of a strong showing at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.com. Of more good things to come.

The departure? Our little much loved, extremely playful Skitty Kitty (the kitten in Hawaii) died today. It’s not right, and not fair, but at least she/he was with Surfer Ty at the very end. And that is a very good place to be.

Bra Hopping

July 10, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

The Flirting with Forty book release party is just two days away and I had a list of endless errands to get done today, among them buying more drink cups, order blown up book covers at Kinko’s, deliver vases to florist for tropical arrangements, and confirm with the musicians, a Hawaiian trio composed of University of Washington math professors.

And then there was the trip to Nordstrom’s lingerie department because I had to have new bras.

Not because anyone is going to see them at the party–or anytime else anytime soon–but I’m not liking the one(s) I’m wearing. They’re too binding, too underwired, too padded, too push up, too confining, too loose, too lumpy, too lopsided. You name it, and it’s bothering me. The truth is, Hawaii is ruining undergarments for me. Hawaii represents hanging loose (just ask my boys) and Bellevue represents….restricting underwear.

So today my goal was simple: comfortable bras. With a couple other requests including attractive, and uh, figure enhancing. And you know what? I found it. With almost the first bra I tried on. And I don’t know how it’s constructed, but it’s an amazing bra. It has no wires, no itchy lace, no elastic edging, no nothing that will make me wiggle and squirm and pluck and complain. Just silky smooth fabric and an affordable price.

I was so thrilled in the dressing room that I immediately asked for one in each color (black, nude and pale pink) and then bought two more for travel because that’s when I need them–on airplanes, at book signings, in airports, in cabs, in lines, in those early mornings and late nights and times when I’m so tired I just want to rip off my clothes and parade around naked (don’t worry, I won’t). And now I won’t have to. Because DKNY has made a very comfortable bra and my rib cage won’t get rubbed, pinched, irritated and my shoulders won’t feel rubbed, pinched, irritated, and folks, that should mean my problems are solved.

I’ll be comfortable.

I’ll feel blessed.

I’ll know perfect peace.

At least for the first fifteen minutes after dressing. Well, five minutes.

After that?

Lord help us. It’s anybody’s guess.

Cats That Kiss

June 30, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

My kids have returned from Hawaii to Seattle, I remain in Hawaii for one last week, Flirting with Forty is already shipping from Amazon and Barnes & Noble, and the Hawaii house has a kitten that thinks it is not a cat.

I think I get cranky in Hawaii because I don’t sleep as well as I do in Bellevue. For one, it’s hotter here. For two, there are panting bulldogs either next to the bed, or on the bed. And three, the kitten we’ll just call Skitty now wants to sleep on the bed, too.

You know, it was a lot for me to get used to sleeping with another human being. Toss in a couple of pets–including an old female bulldog that doesn’t want the cat in the bedroom–and huge Rupert that likes to sleep on the bed whether or not you want him there (on your legs) and you’ve got Jane growling and making unladylike threats.

And as I type, the kitten curls on the desk near the keyboard and tries to participate in the act of typing.

For those of you who know me by now, this is not how I like the universe to be.

My desk and keyboard is off limits to furry things.

My bed preferably should be petless (Hopefully Surfer Ty will not read this blog any time soon…).

My floor dry and droolfree.

And as I continue to type, Skitty the Kitty is attempting to now give me a kiss. Much like the kisses she/he sees Ty giving his dogs, because Ty kisses his dogs. A lot. Lovingly. Only I don’t need the cat clasping my face tenderly with his/her paws and pressing its mouth against mine and then trying a bit of tongue. (Not that Surfer Ty does any tongue with his dogs…)

I write the love scenes, cat. And I don’t make out with kittens, either.

And what I want to know–with my bulldog puppy in Bellevue needing more eye surgery, the new baby lizard in my son Ty’s room, and the Hawaii bungalow filled with four legged friends, have I lost control? Am I becoming a cat lady? And if so, will I eventually like the way a cat kisses? Because right now, that kitten tongue is a little rough for me.

Type As

June 27, 2006 by Jane · Comments Off

I don’t know why there are Type A personalities or Type B’s. I don’t know why opposites attract and if/or the attraction lasts. I just know that I write because it gives me a goal, a focus, a direction. It organizes my brain in such a way that my intense energy, my endless restlessness, becomes pleasingly productive.

And I need to feel productive. I have a ridiculous need to contribute, be useful, to make a difference.

Back in college I was Born Again, and not just a little Born Again, but an evangelical that spent more time on Bruin Walk preaching–mmhmm–and carrying my bible around that actually studying or sitting in class. I guess I thought Jesus would take my exams for me since I was doing His work. Unfortunately He didn’t always show up for all mid-terms and finals. But I did graduate and I’ve mellowed.

A little.

But perhaps not enough as my last blog prompted a number of emails and phone calls and I considered pulling it down because who wants to think that Jane with the shiny hair and white teeth has squirrels rolling nuts in her head? But then I got one email from my friend Latesha today (hope you don’t mind, Latesha) and she’s right. I’m not crazy. I just need to be busy. Busier. And as soon as I’m on deadline again, or as soon as I start my booktour which is just two weeks away, I’ll be craving quiet and beach time. Unfortunately then I’ll be so focused, and so busy and so pressured that I won’t have time to think or feel or do anything but put one foot in front of the other.

I need the gym. I love the bench press. I even love push ups. Because they all exhaust me, drain me of that wild craziness that is so uniquely me.

And yet I wonder about the Type B’s. I wish I could sit still longer, and I admire people who can really, truly relax. I thought for awhile I was learning to relax here in Hawaii but this trip isn’t about relaxing as much as it is about adjusting to a different lifestyle and a different pace and a world where I don’t have my circle of girl friends. There really aren’t many girls or women in the world here. There’s Ty and the surfers. And when Ty and I are alone, it’s enough, but when Ty goes to teach, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who I am.

Or maybe I do and it’s just a little bit overwhelming.

Just a little too Type A.

If there’s such a thing.