Jane's Blog - Page 78 of 93 - Jane Porter | New York Times & USA Today Bestselling Author

Belated Birthday Wishes

March 4, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

It was my birthday, two weeks ago, just a few days after Valentine’s Day and I was sick. In fact, I was sick before my birthday arrived, the night before I was to fly with my boys to Hawaii and I spent the first 9 days in Hawaii feeling like ground round. I’m home now, and finally better, and trying to get caught up on everything that piled up.

First things first, it was my birthday and I am now 36. It’s amazing how these birthdays go. I just keep getting younger and younger. And yes, you can quote me on my age. I’m a very happy thirty-six year-old.

Because I love presents, I’m giving away presents as part of my belated birthday party for myself. In fact, I’m giving away twenty presents and only those that read my JaneBlog will have a chance to win one of those twenty presents.

How do you win a present?

Well, first you have to read my entire blog post for today. And then (no, don’t race to the end, stay here, pay attention, pay attention to me, I love being center of attention) be one of the first twenty to email me at my email address ([email protected]) with Jane’s Birthday in the subject header.

What will you get? Don’t be impatient! It’s good but it’s not a new corvette. It’s not even a box of cookies. But it’s free. And that’s what counts. And I’m sending it to you so that’s like frosting on the cake.

I was delighted to learn that my Christmas novella was nominated for a best book of 2006 and that’s exactly the kind of boost I need as my next Harlequin Presents is about to hit the US market. It’s currently out in the UK. I also just heard from my Harlequin editor that my latest manuscript–after revisions–was fantastic. Yay. That sheikh story should be out late in 2007 or early 2008. And I’ve another Harlequin Presents due end of March. Fortunately I’m on page four of chapter one so I’m just sailing along there.

Now about that birthday present I’m sending to the first twenty people that email me: the present includes a signed copy of the anthology that includes my Christmas novella, a a brand new red Jane Porter pen, bookmarks and some fun extra goodies.

So email me. Do it soon. And you win.

Saint Valentine

February 13, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

I’ve been making a Valentine’s Day splash ever since my sophomore year at UCLA, the first year I had my own apartment, a two bedroom one bath apartment behind fraternity row that I shared with three other girls, including my great friend Karen Cope.

It was wonderful being out of the dorms and having a place of our own. We’d cook, we’d try to entertain and then late at night around midnight after too much studying, we’d just get silly. Really silly. So silly that we’d turn our bay window into a stage for what became the ‘Karen and Jane’ show, a not exactly nightly revue of giddiness and really bad stand up comic–as well as horrific song and dance–routines.

That year I decorated our apartment for Valentine’s Day, with red hearts on the kitchen windows, red hearts and red and pink streamers over the kitchen table and a big pot of red tulips on the table itself. We had our own Valentine’s Day party for just us girls and I’ve had my own party every year since. Valentine’s Day isn’t about romance and isn’t merely for lovers. Valentine’s Day came from Saint Valentine and it’s message is to love and cherish others, and just as importantly, to love yourself.

Far too many of us don’t really like ourselves, not deep down, not where it matters, and Valentine’s Day is a chance for us to remind ourselves that we matter, and that we need to treat ourselves better. No more personal put downs, no more negative self talk, no more beating ourselves up.

Today, before it’s officially the 14th, go out and buy yourself some beautiful flowers, even just a couple bunches of red tulips and buy some of those shiny red heart cut outs and put the hearts out where you can see them and enjoy the flowers and be your own Valentine.

Say good things to yourself. Use Valentine’s Day to laugh. Rent a great movie. Think about all the blessings in your life. Focus on joy, on all that is good, and on gratitude itself.

Make yourself a yummy treat, something that will taste good but also give you a chance to be positive, and happy, and maybe even silly.

One of my favorite sweets I make for Valentine’s Day is a twist on the fantasy fudge recipe we see at Christmas:

Jane’s Valentines

3 c. sugar

3/4 c. butter

1 (12 oz.) pkg. semi-sweet chocolate pieces

1 (7 oz.) jar Kraft marshmallow creme

1 tsp. vanilla

Combine sugar, butter and milk in heavy 2 1/2 quart saucepan. Bring to a full rolling boil, stirring constantly. Continue boiling 5 minutes over medium heat or until candy thermometer reaches 234 degrees, stirring constantly to prevent scorching. Remove from heat. Stir in chocolate pieces until melted. Add marshmallow creme and vanilla. Beat until well blended, pour into a greased 9 x 13 inch pan. Cool at room temperature, but instead of cutting into squares, use a small heart shaped cookie cutter and carefully cut into little hearts. Decorate the hearts by using pink, red or white tubes of icing to write fun sayings like Too Cute, Hot, Luv U, or Be Mine. These little chocolate hearts make a great Valentine to take to give to others. But they�re also a great way to say something nice to yourself.

So remember, Luv U. It’s important.

Happy Valentine’s Day. May you use the day as an excuse to throw a little party with flowers and hearts and lots of love for yourself. Life’s far too short not to.

Rat Dance

February 12, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

We’ve established by now that I am a friend of rodents and reptiles. We used to have Mango, the hamster, and we’ve Gecko now. The Hawaii house had Gouda and my Bellevue house has–and there’s no delicate way to put this–a huge rat.

On an up note, the huge rat seems to stay in the garage. He/she seems to like the macadamia nut chocolates I was keeping there. He/she seems to think I was keeping the chocolate covered nuts for him/her. It’s a gracious thought, and I certainly appreciate my rodent friends thinking of me as a generous and hospitable landlord, but I’m not that nice. I don’t see the…ungodly big…rat in the garage and think, ‘Oh, lovely, rat’s having a party today. What fabulous fun.’ I stare in horrified fascination as rat runs across the garage doors and disappears down around the refrigerator I keep in the garage for extra soft drinks and frozen foods and that’s when I slam the door to the house close and shudder. uuuuggggh.

If only the rat was…smaller. If only the rat was more like Gouda. Gouda was tiny. Gouda was the size of a teaspon running across the floor. And up the footstool. And sitting curiously by my feet. Gouda freaked me out. Gouda could have been cuter. Gouda could have been even darling, like a mouse from a children’s storybook, a fluffy little white mouse, but no, Gouda was a charcoal colored mouse that left mouse poops everywhere. Happily the cat in the Hawaii shack has scared little mouse away and we’ve no more problems with mouse poops there.

Bellevue, now, Bellevue’s another story. I haven’t actually found rat…droppings…because 1) I haven’t looked as 2)its gross and 3) kind of scary. I know I won’t pull a box out and have the rat come flying at me like a squirrel with wings but rats are excellent jumpers. It might freak and leap toward me. And did I mention it was big? Easily 6-8 inches and hefty. It’s enjoyed a lot of chocolate macadamia nuts and I know from first hand experience that those put the weight on.

Thank goodness the big rat is a light grayish brown, kind of boring grayish brown, and if it sticks around a little longer it will soon be the size of a cat and a perfect companion for my children and my one eyed bulldog. I just don’t want the rat to run really fast. I might even like having a house rat if it walked more slowly, kind of sauntered a bit, think Elvis Presley. If the rat could be casual and cool, it’d be fine. Abi, our bulldog, would probably really like having someone (something?) to play with while kids are at school.

But would the rat be safe? Do wild rats have rabies? Or have rats just earned a bad reputation? I don’t know. And I really struggle with this. I mean, I haven’t joined any of the rat right groups, but maybe it’s time. Maybe I’m ready to be a card carrying member of Equality for Rodents because I sure have created a most inviting home for them.

Welcome home, Rat Family. Welcome home.

A Few of My Favorite Things

February 9, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

I’ve been thinking about Valentine Day gifts and it’s not because I want to be Ms. Consumer, but between email ads from the companies I like, spam that I don’t like, and the internet with its ‘gifts gifts gifts’ thing going on, gifts are on my mind.

I never had a real boyfriend in high school or college. I had some dates here and there but never anyone serious enough to exchange cards or gifts with. So when I finally got married in my twenties, Valentine’s Day was pretty damn significant. I was going to make up for all those lost Valentine Days before.

It’s taken awhile to understand what constitutes a great gift though. I’ve never gotten a vacuum for Valentine’s Day or my birthday, but I did get a waffle iron. I’ve also received a quantity of bulk gift items from Costco. And then there was the Valentine’s Day when the gift was a porn movie in a brown paper bag.

I think I had a tantrum that year.

If you’re going to give me porn, please wrap it in pretty paper.

I’ve had very expensive gifts but if they were given in lieu of love, or tenderness, I didn�t cherish them the same way I’ve cherished other gifts.

So what are the gifts I’ve cherished?

In the last couple of years my top ten favorite gifts would have to include (and this is in no particular order):

1) a crystal heart necklace my youngest son Ty picked out for me for Christmas and it’s so pretty and I love wearing it. Makes me feel loved.

2) a painting my boyfriend Ty did for me of snorkeling at Shark’s Cove. It hangs on my bedroom wall and I see it last thing at night and first thing in the morning.

3) a personal DVD Surfer Ty gave me for our first Christmas of him teaching me to surf set to amazing music. An incredible gift. Maybe my favorite gift ever.

4) a CD of great music Surfer Ty gave me after a bumpy visit to Hawaii two years ago and instead of being upset on the flight home, I listened to the CD over and over and thought, ‘Damn, he’s good. I want to be angry but I can’t.’ He got huge style points for that one.

5) the bracelets and necklaces big Ty’s given me these last several years. Any time I wear them I think of him and feel special. Most of them were bought in Hawaii and they’re all really unique and sentimental.

6) The shadowbox my friend Janie Lee made me for Christmas this year. She took the Christmas card I’d sent and turned it into a beautiful memento from 2006 and it sits on my desk and reminds me that last year was wonderful and this year will be even better.

7) A hand painted box my oldest son made for me in preschool with a photo of his face inside the flower. It’s near my desk and I look at it almost every day.

8) A painted rock son Ty made in preschool that’s on the corner of my desk.

9) And from years ago, a dozen long stemmed pink roses my sister sent to me for my birthday. They arrived at my office–it was back in Fresno and I must have been mid twenties, and they were gorgeous. They lasted over a week and just got more beautiful.

10) Love Best gift by far, ever, is love. A hug. A real smile. A laugh. Love from my kids. Love from my friends. Love from my man. Nothing else is as treasured, or is as important as feeling loved.

PS But now with that said, if you�re going to send me flowers, make them pink: lilies and roses and gerbera daisies are good, so are roses, tulips, freesias, snapdragons. Pinks, corals, rose, blush, white, cream and shades of green�they�re all so much more romantic than red.

If you’re going to buy chocolate, just a bite of something really yummy, 2-3 See’s soft centers are perfect. A girl doesn’t need a pound of chocolate. We might want it, but honestly we don’t need it.

And as I said above, if you really want to be a star, make it personal. Put a photo in a frame, make a small box for her favorite trinkets (or anti-depressants, whatever works), burn a CD, shoot a mini movie. Let her know she matters.

Sometimes all the tv and internet ads make it sound like every girl craves big ticket items but the truth is, a valentine card with a gift from the heart (that’s hopefully wrapped) makes Valentine’s Day–and any day–special, sexy, and sweet.

Passages

February 8, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

I got my book in to Harlequin late Tuesday night and spent yesterday cleaning off my desk heaped high with bills and business correspondence and then I started sending Valentines because I love February and the color red and the shape of hearts–a circle with a point–which keeps circles from being too sweet.

I sent my former mother in law, Jackie Gaskins a card, too, and wrote her a note and planned on ordering her some gorgeous tulips or roses to have on her table next week.

She won’t get the card and the flowers aren’t needed. She died this morning at 6:30. I have to tell the boys when they come home from school and that’s going to be hard. I liked that lady so much. She was cool. She was funny. She had a big laugh, blue blue eyes, and she loved red lipstick.

I’m sad–okay, crying–but I’m not going to think about the sad stuff right now. I’m going to think about her race car driver approach to life, her vroom vroom about going places and doing things and having fun. Jackie loved to have fun. We all should want to have fun. We should all want to feel good and we should all take whatever steps we have to take to feel good.

Life isn’t about keeping things tidy and organized in neat little boxes. It’s about blowing off the lid, and exploding all the walls and not playing games, and not trying to please others without ever pleasing yourself.

So for Jackie today I’m going to be happy. Today is Jackie’s Day and that means red lipstick and a great big laugh.

All day.

Always.

Funky Stuff

February 4, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

Did anyone else see the Tribute to Aretha Franklin this past week? The tribute was to help raise funds for the UNCF, United Negro College Fund, and the show was fantastic, an unbelievable three hours of music, history and education and I was upstairs writing with the tv on downstairs full blast so I could pound away on my book while grooving to Aretha’s hits.

I like a lot of R&B, but I dig gospel, Motown and that funky stuff that came out of Detroit. I really loved Jennifer Hudson (of Dreamgirls fame) singing Aretha’s classics during the tribute. Jennifer Hudson is my girl. She’s my favorite actress/singer/star. If you haven’t seen Dreamgirls, do it, for no other reason than to hear Jennifer sing. I know it’s pitiful but when Jennifer sings, I cry.

Speaking of Dreamgirls, I finaly went to see the film just before the Golden Globes with one of my best friends, Lorrie Hambling, and her husband Peter. It’s a long movie–a long musical–but I’d go again in a heartbeat. I want the soundtrack for my birthday and if any of you know my kids, please let them know this would be a great gift for mom. There’s also a really cool coffee table book I want, too, called ‘Burton Holmes: Travelogues’ but that’s $50 and out of their league unless they pool money. Which is highly unlikely, but I digress.

I wanted to see Dreamgirls with Lorrie because she’s from Detroit, and she didn’t grow up in a cushy suburb but in the real city, the nitty gritty working class part and she’s got stories to tell, but she also loved the music, and I’m with her on that.

Maybe sometime in the next year I can have a big party and there won’t be much food, and only a little to drink but there will be lots of music, and I’ll be dancing when Aretha sings, and I’ll be on floor groovin to Brickhouse by the Commodres and okay, Wild Cherry wasn’t from Detroit, and they were pretty much a one hit wonder, but I’m going to get down when the dj spins Play That Funky Music. I am. And once I�m down, you�ll get me right back up with Aretha’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me�

Yeah

(just a little bit)

Auto Replay

February 2, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

Phone call from Hawaii, ‘What are you doing today, Jane?’

‘Writing.’

Phone call a day later from friend. ‘Jane, what are you doing?’

‘I’m writing.’

Phone call from Mom. ‘How are things?’

‘Fine. Just writing.’

Phone call from mother of son’s friend to organize playdate. ‘You okay, Jane?’

‘Oh yeah, I’m just at my desk. Writing.’

That’s all I’m doing. Writing and writing and writing and you’d think by now I’d have a book. You’d think I’d be almost done. You’d think that after a month of hardcore serious writing, I’d have half a book. You’d be wrong. Everytime I finish two chapters I end up backtracking and deleting, editing, rewriting three, four or five. I’m back in that weird world of 2+3= negative 134. How that happens is beyond me and if I weren’t so frickin stubborn I’d give up but there’s no way a romance novel is going to level me.

Although they do come close.

The truth is, Harlequin romances are hard to write, very hard to write. They’re harder in many ways than the women’s fiction I do for 5 Spot. I don’t have the room to wander, wonder, or just write in a Harlequin Presents. The readers won’t have it. They know what a Presents should and shouldn’t be and they’re not very forgiving if you let them down. And so those reader expectations haunt me now as I write and rewrite and write some more.

It’s not that those reader expectations are bad, it’s just that they’re high and once you set the bar high, I go for it.

So if you’re trying to call me and I’m not answering the phone its because book has to get finished in the next four days or so and my editor really needs it and I really need to nail this so I can leave my house.

I’ve got cabin fever. Bad. But worse than cabin fever is the need to wrestle this book into something readers will love.

Mini Update

January 31, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

I’ve had computer issues. Just got computer returned after emergency trip to harddrive guru. New hardrive installed. Yeah. I can email, read my news on the internet, and oh, right, write my book.

Speaking of book am on Chapter 7. That is better than 1 or 4. But book was due tomorrow. Not so good.

I made Semi Spicy Chicken Verde Enchiladas tonight. Not bad. Kids are kind of liking this new mom in the kitchen thing.

I made Turkey Stroganoff four nights ago. Bad. Very bad. Must never ever make that recipe again.

Our one eyed bulldog is a year old now and very darling with her shrunken bulldog head (all the steroids she took after getting injured??) but she has a total bull dog walk. It’s like a little muscle girl walk and her butt swings side to side. She’s lovely. Even with small head and one eye.

Gecko needs crickets. Gecko’s hungry.

Kids are alive.

I lost my chance to win Mother of the Year 2007 last Friday night. You don’t want to know. I was in full miscommunication mode and it was a disaster. I spent days mourning my poor communication skills and only fully kicked the blues yesterday.

And um, that’s it. That’s the update. I will return soon and will try to think of something of value to say.

Back In The Kitchen Again

January 25, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

I’m back in the kitchen making dinner every night and I�m not complaining.

It’s actually fun buying real food and cooking real meals, flipping through cookbooks, attempting new recipes, introducing more vegetables at every meal.

It’s been a long time since I did this, a long time since I wanted to do this. For me, meals were always such a ‘family’ thing. My dad was an incredible cook:wrote his own cookbook, made up his own recipes, spent as much free time in the kitchen as he could when he wasn’t writing or teaching.

When I was younger I liked to bake. I preferred making mousse over meatloaf, berry cobbler over roasts. But then I got married and men like to eat so I started to cook and bake. I discovered that cooking real meals every night was a lot of work. There was the shopping and the prep time and the wash up time. When you’re trying to work and being pregnant and being Super Wife cooking can lose its appeal. It did for me. By my 10th wedding anniversary I’d cook for a party or weekend get together but I resented having to cook every night. I had books that were due. My son’s homework spilled onto the dining room table. Email called. Email became more interesting than cooking and washing.

That’s all changed. It’s almost three years since the boys and I moved into our own house and after nearly three years I know we’re a family, we feel like a family and I feel like a real mom again.

Which means I’m not serving the kids pizza every week now or a bi-weekly mac and cheese anymore.

I didn’t like that food, and I didn’t eat that food so I’d stand at the counter with my bowl of cereal while they gobbled their Kraft macaroni so they could return to their rooms and resume playing.

It was lonely eating cereal or sandwiches on my own. I missed real food, meals that tasted good. That’s why I started buying more at the grocery store, more meats, more fresh vegetables, even exotic fruits. I want to be real again. I want to be me again. I want the rest of my life back…with or without a man.

Which is how I ended up back in the kitchen and this time I’m happy to be here.

Now it’s a small joy and a surprising comfort to walk away from my computer at 5:30 to confront my fridge, cookbook shelf and produce bin. Chopping, stirring, simmering is all relaxing because I’m not at my desk and I’m feeling productive and frankly, it definitely gives a more immediate gratification than writing a book.

Thanks to my readers and friends, I’m getting wonderful new vegetable recipes to try, too. One of my long time friends in NY, Paz, has her own blog with recipes to die for. She sent me a link to two eggplant recipes on her site and I can’t wait to try those but I have to stop drooling over all the yummy photos of yummy food she has there. Paz’s blog is: http://thecookingadventuresofchefpaz.blogspot.com

And then Seattle reader, writer and friend Jennifer Stewart sent me the link to a Seattle based organic vegetable company with amazing recipes on their website: http://www.newrootsorganics.com/recipes.html

Others have sent me their favorite recipes from their own recipe files and I’ve got at least a dozen delicious eggplant recipes to try, plus recipes for beet salads and more.

Thank you to everyone for sharing your recipes and making me feel good in my kitchen again.

It’s good to be more than a writer, and it’s great to feel like a woman again instead of single mom/divorcee. Somehow cooking is healing those little hurt parts of me I didn’t know how to fix.

Any Other Way

January 23, 2007 by Jane · Comments Off

I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses and those close to me would agree I can turn nearly everything into a fight. I’d probably wrestle with the Devil if he appeared on my doorstep. And I view this a strength.

The flipside of being so feisty is that I’ve a terrible Achilles’ heel. I don’t know how to quit. I hate giving up, or giving in.

Which is why my former mother-in-law is breaking my heart. She’s dying and there’s nothing I can do and there’s nothing anyone can do and I’m really struggling with this. I’m struggling to accept that the cancer has progressed too far–only weeks ago they held out hope that chemo would slow it down–and now we’re preparing for goodbyes. She was moved into a hospice facility today. They say two weeks maybe.

Two weeks?

This is my boys’ grandmother, and one of the best grandmothers on the planet. She loved them so dearly and she played with them so much. She was a fighter, too. And maybe that’s what I loved best.

I wish you knew Jackie. I wish everyone knew Jackie. Those of you who’ve read Flirting with Forty know the heroine is named Jackie and I named the character after my mother-in-law. When I wrote ‘Jack’ in the book it’s because that was my nickname for Jackie.

My Jackie Gaskins has had breast cancer twice before and she beat it both times. She went through unbelievable treatments to make it out the other side and during her second battle I sent her a fun shirt or outfit every week to add to her suitcase for the cruise we’d all take together once the cancer was in remission. I loved picking out colorful tops and festive skirts and beautiful jewelry for our cruise. She’d never been on a cruise and she wanted to go. I just wanted her to live.

I still do.

And this time I can’t buy her anything. I can’t promise anything. I can’t dangle a cruise or trip to Hawaii in front of her.

Two weeks they say. At the most.

No. No. I don’t accept it. I don’t. And she can’t either. My Jackie’s a fighter and she wants to keep fighting. She’s not ready for this and none of us are. There are people who don’t seem to live in life and not to be cruel, but those are the ones that should check out, not the ones that smile big, laugh hard, love a great joke, a cold beer and the grandkids.

I wish I knew how to let go better. I wish I knew how to help her say goodbye. But all I can do is say, Jack, I love you. Jack, we’ll always love you. And Jack, you might not be my official mother-in-law anymore, but I’ll always be your daughter.