I did it for the first time. I popped a Yoga for Beginners dvd in and followed the instructor through thirty minutes of poses and breathing and I’ve got to say, it kicked my butt. All that ‘soften’ into a pose is a lot of work. Trying to breathe is even more work. Trying to relax, stretch, breathe and soften worked up a sweat. I was struggling there to hold a pose, breathe and relax.

Relaxing is work.

Relaxing exhausted me.

Relaxing and stretching and breathing has left me shaking. I’m sitting at my desk with wobbily muscles and a kind of odd humming sensation running through me.

On the plus side, my neck doesn’t hurt and my back doesn’t hurt and I feel quite….stretched…and that’s a surprisingly satisfying feeling for someone that spends a lot of time at a desk aching away.

I think I’m going to do the yoga dvd again tomorrow. Because beyond the arduous task of breathing and softening and stretching is the rather peaceful feeling in my brain. I’m not freaking out (right now) which is a delightful change.

I’m calm.

I’m mellow.

And all I did was stretch and hold and inhale and stretch and exhale and some other stuff like that. I have to say, I’m very fond of the child pose and the corpse pose is another favorite. The prayer thing at the end was good, too, especially as I could use all the wisdom of the ages and the universe.

So, while I’m calm and relaxed and focused, I think I’m going to start writing. Because book is due in two weeks (less than two weeks but saying a full two weeks makes me feel better) and I’ve a lot to do.

But I can do it. I’ve the wisdom of the universe with me this morning.

Must go while universe is still on my side.

I need help. Veggie 911 kind of help.

The eggplant I cooked tonight was horrible. Disgusting. So gross I couldn’t eat it and I tried. I even threw out the first batch and started over and tried cooking it again, a different way. It was still bad.

There must be another way to cook eggplant, a way that doesn’t use gobs of fat (because yes, I know, you could make anything taste good with a cube of butter and a head of garlic, just look at escargot).

What I want is to be able to cook, and eat, certain vegetables without giving them a hefty caloric count.

If you have a tasty, healthy, and relatively easy recipe for eggplant please send it to me. I’d like to try it. I can’t go through another night with eggplant like I did tonight.

And while you rummage through your recipe file box, can you locate any good roasted beet recipes? I just want to make a beet salad and I don’t want horseradish in it. I don’t want a ‘hot’ beet vegetable dish, I don’t want beets with fire, beets with pizzazz. I just want it to taste like…beets.

I’ve two more beets in my produce drawer and I don’t want to fail. Please. Someone somewhere must have some beet tips.

And before you go. I bought a kind of squash the other day, it reminded me a bit of a stringy pumpkin. The outside was green, and the inside yellow orange and when it was cooked, it had a shredded quality to it. Now, how do you cook this properly? I nuked my wedge in the microwave and ate it with some salt and pepper and managed to keep it down, but it really was kind of yucky after the fifth stringy bite. I know, butter would have helped, but I’m trying to save my arteries, and trying to save some calories for dessert and I keep thinking someone has to know how to make vegetables yummy.

They don’t have to taste like dessert. But they shouldn’t taste like something sick is in my mouth.

You know how babies make that face when they eat a gross new taste? That’s where I am folks. I’m making that gross face and scraping a lot of uneaten eggplant and squash into my garbage bin..

So send recipes soon. I liked filling my cart with fresh produce at the grocery store. Unfortunately I don’t know what to do with it once it’s there.

My kids have got to go back to school. That’s all there is to it. I love snow, and I love how pretty it is here when it’s all white and glistening and white and powdery and white and icy but enough is enough. If I read one more article about how 2006 was the warmest winter on record I will scream. I’m sure Denver will scream, too. The West is chilly. The West Coast is freezing. And the Pacific Northwest has had six days of snow. Which means days and days of cancelled school due to ‘Snow Days’.

A week off from school wouldn’t seem like such a bad thing if you hadn’t just come back from a two week Christmas break.

And if you hadn’t had three cancelled school days before Christmas break due to no power.

And if you hadn’t had 2-3 cancelled days after Thanksgiving due to Snow Days.

Since Thanksgiving we’ve had more vacation days from school than school and as a mom that works from home, I’ve got lockjaw from trying to smile through mounting anxiety and frustration. My book is due in two weeks. I’m on chapter four. And the first three chapters are pretty bad. Thus the pressure on to get kids where they belong: in class with loads of work of their own.

You know its bad when even the kids want to go back. *My* kids want to go back (well, sort of, on a short day, with late start and early dismissal and because my younger son’s birthday party is tomorrow and how can Reptile Man come if there’s snow everywhere??? And won’t the reptiles freeze in his van???).

Focus, Jane, focus.

Okay, focused. And this is what I want: kids gone, back to a schedule that includes five days of normal school headaches and homework. It’s only fair. I’m supposed to have to work through the snow flurries and ice storms. Why aren’t they?

So, yes, this morning’s early snow fall is beautiful and the powdery stuff everywhere is gorgeous and I’ll never get tired of how pretty it is, but come on, get chains on the school bus, and salt the damn streets and lets get our little snow angels out of the house and back into school so I can enjoy the Snow Day all by myself.

It’s that time of year for the big annual award shows. Golden Globes are this coming Monday. Oscars are around the corner and I’m putting it all out there for Mother of The Year 2007.

I confess, I’m totally lobbying for the Mother of The Year award for 2007 now. I know it’s only the 10th of the first month and there’s a lot more of 07 left, but I’ve been a pretty good mom this past week and I don’t know if I can sustain this kind of cheerful healthy approach all year long. Far better to just have the lobbying and voting now.

Reasons why I could imagine myself Mother of the Year for the first week of January:

1) I made lunches for the kids almost every day, except for today but that’s because I had to fill out Scholastic Book Order forms and couldn’t make breakfast (Eggo Waffles and bagels) AND fill out forms AND make my coffee AND make their lunch.

2) I did laundry over the weekend, two loads of colors and one with white and bleach and folded clothes and carried upstairs so kids could just leave on floor of their bedroom and knock over later and then kick later and then shove under bed, in closet, or back in hamper.

3) I took us all running last Wednesay for 2 miles. I was a great coach for Jake while he and I ran the track and I shouted in the dark, ‘Ty, you okay? Stay in the light. Stay where I can see you.’

4) I explained to the boys that we’re eating healthier from now on because America has turned us into consumers of transfat and excessive sugar and we’re addicted to this stuff now and it’s time we fought back and ate real food again.

5) I let Ty have a friend for a sleepover last Friday night and friend stayed til 3 in the afternoon and I never yelled while friend was here and I smiled at boys a lot and asked perky happy good mother questions like, ‘Are you boys hungry? Do you boys need anything?’

6) I did not make anyone cry during sleepover.

7) I cooked dinner nearly every night and didn’t eat out too much (except for night at Sushi and Joy and then the other night when we had Papa John’s pizza delivered but that was for the boys sleepover so that doesn’t count because I was trying to look like a really fun mom.)

8) I helped with homework without yelling or making anyone cry.

9) I let boys use new noisy electronic toy in the livingroom for an hour without screaming for them to turn that noise off.

10) I bought lots of produce at the store and very little junk food and was so proud of eggplant, beets, squash and pomegrantes in my shopping cart. I looked like a very healthy and fit mom. Even if I don’t know how to cook beets or eggplant yet.

And that’s why I nominate myself for Mother of the Year. I’ve been good this last week, very good, but it’s not going to last. I can’t sustain happy, healthy perky mom forever. Those who know me know I’ll crack.

I’ll yell.

I’ll make someone cry.

I’ll hit the drivethrough.

I’ll serve transfats.

They say it was the storm of the century, maybe the storm of two centuries. The wind took out so many trees and the trees took out so many power lines that 1.8 million people lost power in Seattle last Thursday night and I’m one of the 240,000 people still without power Monday night. The brutal thing is we lost power Wednesday last week, the day before the big storm and we used up nearly all our candles and firewood that night. At first it was rather fun. I played pioneer woman and did a good job heating water over the fireplace, making hot cocoa and toasting bagels with big forks. Now, five days later, I’m really cold and very much in need of some heat and light and a hot shower and clean clothes. Oh, and some food in the fridge because everything had to be thrown out days ago.

So really, how cold did we get? Last night was below freezing (in the 20’s and some folks were talking snow) so after a half hour shivering in bed I got up, shivering even more, rummaged in my dark freezing closet trying to find a scarf or hat for my icy head. Couldn’t find anything but a sweater. A fuzzy sweater. So that is what I ended up tying on my head. Yes. Like a hat. I even used the arms to knot underneath my chin.

I felt a bit like a babushka but I was warm and I did sleep.

Now thanks to Kinko’s for internet access, and Starbucks for coffee, I feel almost human again. Well, until I go home and start lighting candles and trying to build a fire without the benefit of Duraflame, and yeah, until I tie that fuzzy sweater on top of my head to keep me warm.