New Year

It’s finally the new year and I’ve been waiting for this one for awhile. It’s not that I didn’t like the old year, but it wasn’t the easiest year and I’ve this rather silly optimism that says a new year has to be better–or easier–than the last year, which is almost like saying, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and we all know what that means….don’t we?

But what if the grass is greener. It’s possible. With a really good irrigation system, automatic sprinklers with a rain sensor, and feeding and springtime seeding, you could have a lawn that’s nothing short of nirvana. And the neighbor next door, might be a dedicated gardener, and well, he really might have a lush lawn that is better than mine.

And that’s kind of what I’m hoping will happen with 2006. I’m hoping it’s going to be lush and (more) relaxing. The kind of year where you just stretch out and close your eyes and soak up the sun and feel good. Not worried, not competitive, not fearful, not insecure. But good. And happy. And creative.

And productive.

Maybe that’s the part where I get confused. I feel like I need to be more productive, I feel as though I’m getting lazy, but in my laziest year as a writer, I still wrote 3 books. Two for Harlequin and one for Warner. I had a ten week book tour. I did a ton of workshops. Is that really lazy?

But it seems lazy when I compare it to writer friends who are producing six books a year. Or the friend who had seven books out this year. Or the friend that wrote three mainstream novels, three category and three novellas. I wish I could do that, but I don’t have enough words. I don’t know where I’d begin to get that many words. My words come to me more slowly. Much more slowly. I spend lots of time at my computer just staring at the screen. And even more time deleting entire paragraphs written. Happily, I like writing better than I have in years. I’m happier writing. I feel creative and challenged and engaged.

So I guess I’ve already got a great year–I’m right where I want to be professionally, and personally things feel better than they have in years. The kids and I just had a great ten days in Hawaii and tomorrow we fly back to Seattle to return to school and writing. I’ve revisions for my last Harlequin book to tackle and the Warner proposal to nail down, and then a new idea for Harlequin I’m anxious to jump on. So yes, the grass is plenty green and there’s no reason to hop the fence, or envy the neighbor or covet his lawn. I have what I need. I like who I am. And sometimes its just a matter of keeping it all in perspective.

Happy New Year. May we all have lush lawns in 2006.

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