Upside Down Romance

Yesterday the reporter/producer and cameraman from Seattlle King 5’s ‘Evening Magazine’ show returned to my house to finish filming the segment they’re doing on me that airs 7 pm, February 23rd. In Hawaii last weekend they filmed Ty giving me a surfing lesson, including the land lesson, and then later, interviewed us as the sun set behind our park bench. And one of the questions asked, was the question Ty and I both have heard quite a bit lately: ‘How does this end?’

How does it end.

How does anything end?

As those of you know from reading my last JaneBlog, called To The Lions, you’re aware that my divorce pretty much destroyed me, and the rebuilding process is slow and sometimes so guilt ridden it’s hard to accept, much less forgive myself, for failing in a relationship. But relationships take two people and really, in the end, all you can do is your part.

And so when people ask–friends, strangers, reporters–how does it end with you and your surfer? I simply shake my head and say, ‘I don’t know.’ And, ‘Does it have to end?’

One of the things learning to surf has taught me is that your surfboard will go the direction you face. If you look down as you’re learning to get to your feet, you’ll fall. If you look straight ahead, point towards the beach, your board will straighten out and head in that direction.

But that’s not just surfing, that’s life. And so when people ask, ‘where will this go? What’s going to happen?’, I truthfully answer, I’m going with it as far as it will go.

Last weekend in Waikiki Ty took me out a couple times between his lessons so we could surf together (which really means he surfed and I sat nervously to the right of the line up and caught waves when he insisted I elbow in with the real surfers). The waves weren’t big and lots of surfers weren’t catching anything whereas Ty can take a puddle and make it surf-able, but I needed him to push me into the waves. But once up, I don’t do any fancy cross stepping or walking around on my board, I just stand there and ride the wave.

Where Ty surfs in town, it’s a long paddle out, and if you ride the wave far–like I do, and did–it’s a long paddle back out. And several times when I was surfing, I thought, maybe I should lay down, end the ride, because the paddling back will be killer, but then I thought, I’m up, I’m riding, I’m having fun–why lay down? Why not just enjoy the ride?

And that’s pretty much my analogy for life, and relationships. And maybe it’s a recipe for upside down romance, but don’t give up if it’s working, and don’t stop if you’re having fun, and don’t start looking down or looking for the end if you feel loved. What’s the point of looking for the end when you’re in the beginning, or middle?

Do any of us really want to know the end? How would that improve the ride?

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