Vain Girls

Our puppy has been with us two weeks today. And she’s been through hell and back. I do not say that lightly.

I delayed a business trip last week to make sure she’d come through her eye surgery fine before I left town. I wanted to her to be at the house with me for the night to know she was okay. I wanted to make sure she was eating and playing and doing fine.

She was, and so–reluctantly, and emotionally–I left on Wednesday. Thurday morning I got a call she’d been badly injured, bitten in the face by another dog and she was in danger of losing her eye. The good eye.

I cut my trip short, returning home Friday night on a red-eye and she’s here, back home with me, and she’s still a darling little puppy with a red crazy eye that may or may not need to be removed. The outlook for her vision isn’t good and I’ve cried myself silly. She goes back to the eye specialist Tuesday for an ultrasound and I’ll know more than about her crazy eye–which is what Surfer Ty calls it–trying to ease some of the shock at this gorgeous little puppy having a well, very different eye now.

I feel guilty. I keep thinking–and I know this isn’t healthy–it’s my fault. If I didn’t travel….if I weren’t so busy…if I weren’t juggling so much. The boys had wanted a dog so badly and I wanted them to have one, and I thought we could find a way to make it work.

Our fat Abi was really expensive and that’s because she’s uncommonly beautiful, super wrinkly and blessed with just the prettiest bully puppy face, and I fell for her instead of the other puppies because she was a little princess. She looked like a gorgeous girl and I thought, I’ll never show her, but she’s just so pretty. And so I splurged. And now in two weeks here, our pretty bully has seen a vet more times than most dogs see a doctor in a lifetime, and she might need to wear an eye patch and although Surfer Ty reminds me pretty bulldog girl puppies grow up into ugly bulldog adults, and that her crazy eye will just add to her character, I’m sad for her. I’m sad she’s got a crazy eye and sad that she hurts and needs so much pain medicine and faces more surgeries. I’m sorry that her two weeks with us have been so damn difficult.

I think back on my post comparing puppies to babies and I never saw this injury coming. Makes me feel ungrateful for ever complaining about chewing and puppy runs. Teaches vain girl me a lesson: always count your blessings, even if you’re not entirely sure what your blessings are.

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