Periodical Assessment

This is going to be a super short blog and I’m writing it because I’m chained to my desk until I finish Odd Mom Out but I can’t stand thinking about my book for another second so here I am, pretending to not write when I’m still writing.

If I could, I’d lie down on the ground and not get up until someone else comes and finishes my book but I’d starve before then, and besides, the chain is too short. I can’t lie down, I can only sit, hunched at my keyboard cursing at myself for taking so long to finish this book.

So let’s get on with it then.

I’ve changed.

And my magazine subscriptions have changed, and when I look at the stack of periodicals next to my bed, I can hardly recognize myself.

Two years ago those stacks were fun and funky, fashion bibles and travel guides. Now the copies of People, In Style, Vogue, Bazaar, Gourmet, Rolling Stone, Town and Country and Vanity Fair (never mind the decade long subscriptions to Traditional Home, Renovation Home, Seattle Home, Southern Living, Southern Accents, Elle Decor, and Architectural Digest) have been replaced with three simple, but very different, magazines: More, Pink, and Oprah.

More, Pink, and Oprah are magazines for women of a certain age who want to think more about business, mentoring, success, and philosophy than hips, waist, thighs and breasts. Why the change? One, I’m reluctantly growing up. Two, I’m accepting I will always have big hips and little tits. And three, I can’t afford to renovate, remodel, or dream about remodeling until I write a* lot* more books.

Oh, and then there’s reason #4, and maybe the best reason of all: I’ve got to have something to write about. And More, Pink and Oprah have lots to say about life, and work, and attitude and success which makes me feel really good about myself, creating a self image with chirpy positive buzz words like smart, ambitious, creative, successful.

Whooo. Flying high here, feel a little like Jane Jetson (…’Jane his wife!)

Anyway, the bottom line is maturing is hard, painful for even the most dedicated adult. And if I slip, or get tired or cranky, it’s not as if I can’t buy a copy of People at the grocery store. No one ever said I had to grow up and stay there forever.

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