The Real World

I’ve had a few days of outer body experiences, and it may be due to my extreme fatigue of only finally finishing my book Monday at 4 pm (I had an end on Saturday night but I had to line edit the entire 563 page manuscript Sunday and Monday before emailing out).

Once manuscript was emailed to editor, I showered (much needed) and then took boys for some last minute back to school shopping and dinner at PF Changs.

I’d like to think my real world ended there. Unfortunately it hadn’t even begun.

‘Mom, your pills don’t seem to be working.’

‘Which pills, Ty?’

‘The ones you take for your wrinkles.’

‘I don’t take any pills for my wrinkles.’

‘No wonder. Because your neck looks bad and you have crows feet all over your face.’

And then there was the picking up of shoes all over the house and strewn laundry and dirty dishes and more dishes and socks. Lots of socks. And then finally when I have done my pick up and I go to pee, I sit down on a wet toilet seat and it’s just eeeewww. Ewww. Eeeww.

Ew.

‘Mom, do you mind if I miss Dad more than you?’

‘No.’

‘Do you mind if I’d rather be with him this weekend?’

‘No.’

‘Do you mind if I love him more?’

Deep breath. ‘No.’

‘You’re not mad, Mom?’

‘No.’

‘You’re sure?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re really not mad?’

‘No.’

‘Not even a little bit?’

‘Well now I’m starting to get mad.’

‘See! I knew it. I knew you’d be mad. I can’t tell you anything.’

And people wonder why I have to write.