Last week’s book club was such a success! Let’s do it again!
With Easy on the Eyes hitting shelves in July, the countdown continues with my online book club about Odd Mom Out and Mrs. Perfect—my two books that feature some of the same characters from Easy on the Eyes. I love hearing your opinions and fielding your questions, but here’s the best part: your comment on each book club question enters you to win an Advanced Reading Copy of Easy on the Eyes. Read it before you can buy it! Then you can tell everyone about it.
Last week we discussed Mrs. Perfect. This week let’s talk about a topic from Odd Mom Out:
Marta is shocked to learn Eva knows about sex at her age. She recalls her own experience about having the ‘discussion’ about sex with her mother and realizes how different it is with her own child. What about Marta’s realizations hits home with your own experiences?
Feel free to contribute without having read Odd Mom Out, but be warned that the comments that follow may contain spoilers.
For more Odd Mom Out, read an excerpt, download the whole Reader’s Guide, check out some book extras, and order your copy from Amazon!
About TIMING of PRIZES: The winner will be drawn (randomly, of course) shortly after the next book club gets posted. So, sometime next Monday, when I find a sliver of time between sleeping and caring for a itty-bitty baby, I will do the winner thing. If it waits until Tuesday, no one stress, okay? Thanks! And thanks for participating!
I got a really short talk and a couple of books to read. (Mom is a book person.)
But I dread having kids just because of the sex talk. I think it is just because it seems that kids are getting expose to it at a younger and younger age. So by the time you get to them – you are probably having to reeducated them.
Meanwhile – I need to go back a re-read that part. It has been so long since I read Odd Mom Out!
Hi Jane! Great to see you out and about!
I think as each generation passes, everything is ramped up ten-fold. Our kids know things we might not have at that age.
But the basics are still the same with perhaps more scary things lurking out there. And kids learn through media much more now. It’s still tricky–think it always will be for parents trying to guide kids in the right direction and keep the lines of communication open. Huge challenge.
Take care — get sleep when you can!
Hugs!
MARIAN
My own mom viewed sex as a natural part of life and had a frank discussion with me when I was ten years old. This was during the sexual revolution of the 60’s. My mom was single for a time while raising me, and was also a career woman for my whole childhood. I was always so proud of her and now looking back I realize how far ahead of her time she was. She treated discussions of sex in the same forward thinking way. There was nothing to be ashamed of. This is how people reproduce and/or show love to one another. My “talk” with my children was made a lot easier simply by drawing on my mom’s wisdom.
Well, considering my mom’s mom made her go to the doctor to prove she was still a virgin I consider myself lucky.
I learned most of it in health class and get this…Cosmopolitan. LOL I also had friends that were “helpful”. All in all, I did pretty well on my own. 🙂
My mom said NOTHING to me or my sister. I learned everything from “the movie” and reading. I was a voracious reader. 😉
I have always been very open with my kids. My husband finds it more difficult. I have an open dialogue with my 14 year old. I have been honest with her as much as I could. I think she knew a lot before we actually had teh discussion. I told her about periods early around 8 years old since I was concerned she might get it earlier than I did but she was almost 12. You have to talk, talk, talk! Share your values and morals and work hard at not being embarassed.
My older sister was a great source of information. We would giggle together while she shared what she’d learned in sex ed at school. It was pretty informative. Anything we wanted to know she could ask the teacher:)
never ever had a discussion with Mom; don’t know why.
A friend drew pictures of the anatomy of both genders and explained it that way to me.
I can not remember ever talking about personal issues with my mother. I to was a self taught, learn what you can from the movies as school, scholar. What a way to learn these things.
Now, as I raise children I have learned how important it is to be open and talk about todays issues. It’s not only about sex education but very much about taking care of your self. My 13 year old and I have had talks about periods, sex, STD’s, HIV, hepatitis, RESPECT, and how easy it really is to say NO. I hope she knows that I am now and will always be here for her. It is a very different world out there and the more accurate information you know, the better.
We all need someone that we can talk with about sensitive issues. And, how much better to know they won’t stop liking or loving you because of what might come up. I really pray that I can be that kind of mom to my children.
I don’t have kids but I’ve often wondered what I would have told my children if/when the topic came up. As for the talk my mother had with me – it never happened. I do, however, distinctly recall my older sister talking about it and saying sex was a sin and that therefore, the fact that we were here meant our parents were sinners. lol
I found that while I have been raising my kids there is no one particular ‘sex talk’. They start asking questions from a young age and I always tried to answer them honestly while trying to make it age appropriate. I found that if you are always willing to talk to your kids about any issue then they feel comfortable bringing up topics that I can’t imagine my mother ever addressing. The one time I didn’t know how to answer a question was when my son was maybe seven or eight and asked me what a prostitute was. I just couldn’t think of a way to explain it to a child of that age so it was the one time I told him he was too young for me to explain.
I never had the “talk” since my mom passed away when I was thirteen. Growing up with older brothers and going to an all girl catholic school, I made up for it by reading every anatomy book in the library. With my children, when they started to get curious I went through the whole social, clinical, physica, etc., aspects of sex, love, romance. They said I went overboard with it and it was TMI but I’d rather they knew more rather than less.
How is Mac doing? I only had one child and a boy. I can’t remember having the sex talk with him maybe his dad did. I think most kids already know about it before we get around to the talk. I think it is taught to them in school and every where else. I remember when my mom had the talk to me I already heard about it in school.
My mom had eight kids but was very reticent about sex discussions – go figure. My father was scary and never allowed dating. I read adult books at an early age and I certainly didn’t want to have any babies so I was careful when I finally began to date after high school. (and after my father had died). My husband talked to our son about sex and I think he already knew it all anyway, but if I had a daughter I would have been very open to discussions. Things are so out there in the open now conversations need to begin early.
I just finished Odd Mom Out and having read Mrs. Perfect last summer, and am SOOO excited to hear that there’s another book with the same characters! I hope they’ll be even more!
Ours was pretty funny. My kids were about 5,6 and 7. We were in department store restroom and the kids saw one of those machines selling tampons and other womens supplies.Well, my son insisted on buying something from the machine, after all he had his own money, but noticed there was nothing good and wondered what all that stuff was. So I gave them the simple update and while I was on the subject of eggs, just kinda gave them the sperm update as well. They thought the whole thing was so cool and I later overheard a conversation in the back of my Suburban wondering where they could get a hold of some “worms” for the eggs in the refrigerator and then they could have a new brother since we only had 1 boy and already had 2 girls. They’re teenagers now and after many casual conversations, they have it all figured out now.
My mom had “the talk” with me in 5th grade. My daughter is seven and in second grade. Because girls can start their periods these days as early as 9, the mother of her best friend at school has already started talking to her about it. My dilemma is that my daughter is more 10 months younger than her friend, so I have to choose between telling her now when I think it’s really too early for her or risking her hearing it all from her friend. I’m pretty certain her friend won’t be able to keep it to herself. I’d obviously rather that she hear it from me.
The school took care of this talk. A movie and a book was distributed and after that nothing further was mentioned. My sons learned early in life about this since everything is open and discussed in our family.
I think this world has made everything too accessible (and not in a good way) & kids learn way too much way too soon. I was in the GROCERY STORE the other day & heard a girl that looked to be about 10 or so talking to her friend about sex acts that I never even heard of until I was in high school!
Let’s see…My daughter is just turning 10 in June so we haven’t had the sex talk yet. However, about 2 months ago, she asked about the period. So we have had that talk and I proceeded to go to the nearest Barnes and Noble to buy her a book about it in case she got confused or I missed something.
Are you sitting? Because you may need to when I tell you what my mom’s idea of the Sex Talk should be…”Don’t do it, it’s not fun.” I mean really, what person is not going to go do it then? It’s almost like challenging you!! You can bet my talk will not be that!! And almost anything should be better 🙂
Hope all is well!
I never had “sex talk” with my
mother. Sex was never, ever,
dicussed in our home. My parents
were very much “don’t ask, don’t
tell” types. I have a 6 year old
daughter and I don’t want her to
find out the basics like I did from friends and movies.
With growing up in a house where your step father kept a volume of Penthouse forum on the back tank of the toilet, and your best friends house had cosmopolitan, I didn’t need the sex talk, kinda figured it out on my own.I think my mother was some what relieved, though when it came down to “the talk” she explained in her best words trying to keep me as innocent & naive as possible and then handed me a book that was given to her in 1958.LOL- Thanks Mom!
Though I have 2 boys,16 &4.My 16 yr old & I have had that talk and I was suprised by how open he was with me about it. Very Cool!
My own Mom was uptight and we never discussed it. Not the act, not birth control, none of it. Fortunately, my sister 8 years my senior answered all my questions with a maturity beyond her years and a progressive teacher had a book in her classroom.
I was, however, given free reign to watch soap operas my entire grade school career. This was not a good place to learn about relationships. It is a bleeping miracle I have a good marriage!!!
Love these discussions and the pictures of your expanded family!
I think my mom got around to the “sex talk” after some of the kids a school talked about it but before school got around to telling us. (as in years after some of the girls reached puberty)
As a mom of two young girls this is a converstation I am not looking forward to. I have a few years to get me speech prepared.
I do remember that my Mom would always take me to the Mall and we would always have our talks in the car on the way there because she knew ther was no where I could go to escape. (I even started calling it the “Sex Mall” because she always brought it up on the way there.) I do think it is important to educate our kids as it seems like they are doing everything at such younger ages now…it is a little scary!!!
Sex was not a topic ever brought up by my Mom. I was totally clueless when I got my period in sixth grade which forced a short talk mainly about how to deal with that and what it meant. She was even horrified to find I was using birth control when I was married!
I have one daughter and have made sure the lines of communication are open. We did go to a half day program at a local hospital which helped open the door for further talks.
My Mom never said anything to me about sex other than don’t do it before you get married or I will disown you.
Sex was not a hot topic when I was growing up… I saw the movie, read the pamphlet, and got questioned about being on the pill at 19 when I was dating my first serious boyfried (I married him).
I have been pretty open with my kids; I have one son and three daughters. They know they can ask anything and for discussion I tend to ambush them in the car when we’re doing sixty on the highway… that way they can’t get away. They’re used to it and we have good talks at home too.
I remember mum telling me – I was horrified – “Yuck, you did that three times!!!”
My Mom left books laying around the house where she’d know I’d find them. She knew I’d pick up anything to read & when she’d see I was reading one of the books, she’d discuss it with me after I was done.
I never had the sex talk with my Mom. And, frankly, I’m slightly freaked out about the sex talk with my kids. Especially for my now 7 yr old dd.
The kids’ school (elementary) has had a sex expert come and do a talk to the parents and the PAC is trying to decide whether to allow this person to present to the kids. Starting in Grade 1!! I think for the older elementary grades it is appropriate but I think the primary’s should be left out – let me figure out how much my 7 year old needs to know.
I definitely think you need to keep the lines of communication open with children–which includes talking about sex.
Don’t act like it doesn’t exist.
It’s been a while since I’ve read Odd Mom Out, but if I remember correctly, Marta and her mother are polar opposites: Marta is passionate, Mom is cold, Marta is a bit rebellious and Mom is very proper and Marta had sex at a somewhat younger age (late teens???). Because I don’t have children, I can only relate this to having had the ‘talk’ with my little sister – I simply asked her to wait until she was sure of her feelings and sure that she was mature enough to handle any consequences. I shared with her my own experiences of having sex for the first time at 18, with someone I thought I loved, and how traumatic it was even then. I let her read my diary from the time so she could see that I wasn’t lying about my own conflicted feelings and that I regreted the decision for a while. My own mother left it up to Catholic Guilt to prevent me from having sex before marriage, and that worked for a while, but it wasn’t ultimately successful and was completely lacking in information and education. Thank goodness for the local Planned Parenthood and for my Mom’s best friend, who wasn’t afraid to talk frankly with me and let me ask questions!!
Hello – I don’t remember who I had the sex talk with – I just knew one day. I was a Catholic school girl and pretended not to know because I was afraid my mother would find out but I know the info didn’t come from her. She has yet to have the sex talk with me but then she’s been gone for 12 years. I made sure my girls knew at a young age. In fact when my youngest asked me where she came from I told her the truth, literally. She screamed at me “You make me sick – I did not – I was a star in the sky.” So much for honesty. Odd Mom out was my favorite – I still remember being in shock when I read the last page. But wait I needed more Marta and Eva. And I was even more devastated when you said no more Bellevue Moms books. I still miss Marta and Eva. OK what about a sequel in another city??? This is coming from a desperate woman who considered Marta and Eva her friends. No life!!!!
My mom didn’t discuss things like that…it was very taboo in my house growing up. When I got my period, my mom went out and got a box of pads, the ‘belt’ and a book and threw them down on my bed. LOL I grew up in an area where teenage pregnancy was prevalent and most of my friends were pregnant before we graduated high school. I guess that’s why I try to be open with my own children. I got all my information from school and books and that’s not what I wanted for my own kids. We have had the sex talk quite a bit and the funny thing is that it’s easier for me to talk to my boys about it than my daughter. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s a girl or her age…she is my youngest. But-we still talk, none the less!
Hi Jane,
Oh to this day I still remember the awkerward conversation with my Mom, very brief and to the point. Anything about sex was always avoided as much as possible in my home growing up.
On the other hand, as a Mom, I am very open and honest with my children when it comes to sex. I want them to know the truth, from me, and not to think that the subject is taboo. I think being this way with them has made it easier for them to come to us when they do have questions.
Melissa
Time to announce the contest winner!
Good afternoon, everyone. I’ve randomly drawn a name out of a hat and this is what I got:
Congrats to #22 Sally Johnson, you are this contest’s winner. Please send me a private email with your address and we’ll get your ARC of Easy on the Eyes out in the mail to you.
And thanks to Sally and everyone who participated! I hope to see everyone’s reader reviews online (at your blog, Amazon, or Barnes and Noble, Facebook…).
Be sure to participate in the current discussion of my online book club for your chance to win an ARC of Easy on the Eyes.
Best,
Jane
http://www.janeporter.com