VINTAGE JANE: Literary Lions

This is one of my favorite blog posts because it’s just so me.

Yes, I can look glamorous in a headshot, but the truth is, I’m rather dorky. You’ll see in this blog why Surfer Ty calls me “Stumblelina.”

Literary Lions
originally posted to the JaneBlog on March 11, 2006

I hurt. Not mentally, it’s more of a bruised ego thing, as well as a shin, arm and shoulder thing, too. You see I fell down the stairs tonight at a big event. In front of everyone. Just when I was feeling so literary.

Back up–set scene, Bellevue’s big downtown library, elegant evening fundraiser honoring corporate sponsors and outstanding authors (yes, I was invited, and it might have been a fluke, especially after I tumbled down their grand cement staircase). I arrived alone and was nervous. No one knows I’m nervous because I wear so much make up and my hair is shiny and straight but I took my special badge, the one with the big black ribbon that reads ‘AUTHOR’ in fancy gold letters and headed up the staircase to find a glass of wine and mingle as instructed.

Bellevue’s big regional library has a prominent staircase with a landing in the middle. Halfway up the second flight, I glance above me, see all the elegant people in their black tie and formal wear, think to myself, I shouldn’t have worn brown, shouldn’t have come alone, should have brought Joan as she offered to come, especially as I feel self-conscious wearing my big black author ribbon.

And that’s when it happened. BAM. Blaaaah. Ooooof. Although it actually happened much faster than that. More like Bam, Bla, Uf. And because I was carrying my camera, I couldn’t let it drop so I used my shin and forearm to take the brunt of the fall. Super smart move. Shins, elbows and forearms are so well padded.

An elderly couple to my left rushed to my side, lifted me to my feet, and supported me the rest of the way up the staircase.

It was one of my finer moments, I can you tell that.

And I can also tell you this: I wished I was wearing black, not brown. I wished I had brought someone with me so elderly people didn’t have to support me up the stairs. AND I wished, oh how I wished, I wasn’t wearing my big black ribbon with the gold letters AUTHOR. Because standing red-faced and stiff (how does one stiffen up that fast? Tell me it’s shock, not age) at the top of the stairs I really felt like a Literary Lion.

No, make that a dinosaur.

Have you ever taken an embarrassing spill? Made a major faux pas when you were trying to be oh-so professional? Share one of your red-faced moments and I’ll love you for it!

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