I’m in my house…barely!
It’s a juggling act still, trying to get settled when we’re having contractors, electricians, plumbers, carpenters, heating specialists, and audio/visual techies in virtually every room. My office, though, is pure chaos and I can’t write until it’s unpacked and organized, and sadly, I can’t even get to my office to unpack and organize when I’m needed in every other room to make decisions. Help!!
One of my boys, too, has decided not to move with me and it was a very sudden, shocking decision…at least for me. I’ve never not had my boys live with me but son Ty didn’t want to leave Bellevue, and his dad was willing to move back there from Arizona so hopefully it will work out for him. Right now it’s hard to be okay with the decision but eventually I will adjust to life without him in the house.
I desperately want to hear from you! Fill me in! Tell me what’s going on. I’ve got 3 great fun surprises…gift cards galore…and contest ends Friday night at midnight PST, with winner announced Saturday morning. Check back Saturday to see if you won.
Have missed you!
“Right now it’s hard to be okay with the decision but eventually I will adjust to life without him in the house.” Exactly, Jane. I know it’s not easy, but I wish you and your family the best with this decision. I applaud you for not forcing the issue, and I applaud his dad for moving back.
Today is my 31st wedding anniversary. Since hubby has to leave for work at 6 pm, we went out for lunch together. It’s always lovely being together in the car, talking and not talking, just holding hands whenever possible. Tonight our son is barbecuing hot dogs because we are still full from lunch. That’s just fine with us.
I know it would take me a while to adjust not living with one of my kids. A family friend passed away recently and we’re going down to Philly this weekend for a memorial.
Oh, Jane, my heart breaks for you to be away from your son. I hope it works out with his dad. Looks like you’ll be keeping busy getting settled in your new place. Hugs to you 🙂
If I admired you before, I do so even more now. I’m not sure how I would have reacted…probably
pulled him by the ear into the car. Prayers are with you to help you adjust. Serenity Prayer
helps me alot.
Jane, I know it must have been a shock and I’m sorry. I feel as if I know you and your boys personally, so I’m surprised by your news. I hope living with his father works out for Ty and I hope you are all able to adjust without too much pain. My husband and I have purchased our first condo in Manhattan after 18 years together. We are in a state of chaos and fear! Good luck to you.
If I lived closer, I would come help with all the unpacking and organizing things. Moving is always such a hassle. But, it’s exciting at the same time. I’m so sad to hear Ty didn’t want to move with you. I’m sure it’s his friends he doesn’t want to leave. Hopefully he will change his mind and miss you and want to come join everyone else soon. Not a whole lot going on around here lately except getting ready to have my sisters back in town. I’m sure one will want to stay here since my mom’s house will be full. My parents are renewing their wedding vows next Saturday. My one niece is coming as a surprise and bringing her son. None of us have met him yet since they live out of state. So, we have some exciting times coming up. I’m slowly getting ready for it. I’m happy for my parents. When they first got married it was in their house. This times it’s a big wedding in a church. I’m also slowly getting used to not having my precious Nani with me. It’s still hard every day. but, it gets just the tiniest bit easier each day.
He may change his mind again after he’s been away from you guys for a while. So don’t despair, it could work out yet. I wish you all the best. Moving is never much fun but it will be great when you get it all unpacked and get fully settled in your new home.
That must have been a hard decision for you and your son. I know I miss my nieces and nephew if I don’t see them everyday. I hope everything works out ok with him staying with his dad. Not much is going on right now. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and find out if the chemo pills are working or if new chemo is needed.
Hugs to you…hard decision about your son, but hopefully things will work out. It sure is hard being a mom sometimes.
I don’t envy you the unpacking…BTDT too many times, including one overseas move! I’ll tell you a shameful little secret…I still have a few boxes I haven’t unpacked from our last move, which was more than 6 years ago! haha
It’s been hard to get out and enjoy summer here because of the extreme heat, so I’ve just been staying inside with the a/c and catching up on my reading! 🙂
Enjoy getting settled into your new home. Everything will be organized before you know it…hang in there!
Sounds like lots of changes! All the best with everything!
It’s hot enough here that the lake has warmed up. Been in swimming quite a few times.
Oh Jane, so sorry to hear your son didn’t make the move with you, but I’m sure it will all work out. I love your new office and I’m sure it will be awesome once you get all settled in. Looks like you have lots of space. I can wait for September to read the new book:-)
Happy unpacking and organizing!
If it’s any consolation, I’m moving too (moved in Friday) and I’m almost seven-months-pregnant with a five-year-old and a house that smells like mildew. Am trying everything to get the smell out since bad smells make me sadder than sad. Luckily, there’s a small desk in the kitchen I set my Mac on so that I can keep working. But life’s a mess.
It sounds like an exciting but stressful time. I hope everything settles down for you soon. We have been trying to keep cool and it is time to start figuring out what we need to send our son back to college.
I am sure he will miss you even more Jane and he will respect the choice you made in letting him make a choice as well. I hope moving in gets smoother for you and your family in the days and weeks ahead.
I’m sorry that your son decided to stay in Bellevue. I know it must be VERY hard for you. You’re a great mom! I’m confident that you raised a wonderful son who realizes all that you’ve done for him. He will be fine because he has you as a mom.
I hope you are able to get some “you time” among all the moving and writing. Can’t wait for your book to come out in the next few months!!!
At tough decision, but understandable from the teenager’s point of view. When our son went away to college I got the biggest hug ever from him when he flew home for Thanksgiving. They don’t appreciate you until you are not around anymore.
You all will learn from this and those ties of love stretch across the miles!
Leaving for vacation soon and can’t wait to see some new country and forget about deadlines and responsibilities for a while.
It is so great to finally hear from you Jane (thought you got lost there for a minute). Well work is going great and I may even have a chance to move up (not so bad for five weeks on the job). :). Lately I have been reading Debbie Macomber’s Cedar Cove series I am so addicted and almost done. I did check into Fifty Shades of Grey but I don’t think its the kind of book for me. Talk to you soon again. Hope everything gets situated nicely and quickly. P.S. your son will miss you dearly I’m sure.
Oh, I am sorry about your son but proud of you for going with it. I can’t imagine the pain you are feeling.
I hate moving and I understand what you are saying…while you have things YOU want to do it seems like everyone wants you for something else..
{Jane}
Jane I feel your pain you are going through with Ty. I know that his age can be difficult for him to deal with changing schools and making new friends.
I think everything will work out over time.
As for the unpacking and having the guys finishing up on the house. Give yourself about 30 days to start getting it together. But if you are like me you don’t like to wait and will stay up too late work too long to get the job done.
I can’t wait to see the finished pictures of your new home.
Today I spent 2 1/2 hours in the dentist chair getting a crown today. Oh, joy. 🙂
Hope your move & stuff goes well.
Our daughter is staying with my parents this week. So my hubby & I are rekindling the fires!
Jane,
I wish I could help you with the unpacking, but after dealing with a foot issue since April, I finally saw the podiatrist, who put me in a walking cast for the next 6 weeks! I have a walker too to help keep me balance while I work! UGGGGG, I am 43 not 80! This sucks but if it makes it all better, than I guess it will be ok. I was kind of surprised that my work is letting me do full duty(I am an x-ray tech/medical assistant) I really thought they would stick me on a desk. I have been getting some pretty funny looks from patients. My friend Kelley, who now lives in AZ, but if she lived here I would have her help you. She is amazing at cleaning up and organizing. She would have your house unpacked and organized in just a few days, she is that good and it isn’t even her regualr job, just something she does on the side.
I am sorry to hear that your son has decided to move back to Washington, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that is for you. My sister and her kiddos have been here visiting from Washington, and they headed home today, and I already miss them. Maybe he will change his mind. Keeping fingers crossed for you.
So excited to see you and all the other authors in Anaheim in a few weeks! Wish I could go to the conference too, I bet it is an awesome experience!
Sending you good thoughts your way and if I had a magic wand, I would use it to help you get through the unpacking.
I hope you are slowly getting settled, the chaos would be overwhelming me right now!
I know it’s hard with Ty’s decision, I hope he gets a lot of support from his dad, too. I don’t have any words to make it easier except to hang in there and just keep letting him know you love him.
We are finally enjoying the usual Seattle summer, the weather is beautiful. The schedule seems to be full with all the projects and appointments that seem to fill every summer. I am really, really looking forward to Hawaii in August, some much needed down time! Then it will be time for school again and so it continues.
Good luck with the unpacking and all the contractors!
Looks like you have quite a lot to deal with at this moment. Just try to take one step at a time. Although there is e-mail, texting, Facebook, etc., it will be an adjustment without all of your boys under one roof. I will keep all of you in my thoughts.
Glad you are in your real home now and so sad to hear about Ty..well, hey dont worry, everything’s will get back to normal one day..always be positive 🙂
my 1.8 yos is teething, so he needs lots of attention from me and his brother..
Sorry to hear about your son. Moving can be stressful. Good luck with everything.
I hope everything settles down for you soon. Chaos often seems to follow in my wake, but we do what we can.
Moving is such a stressful time, you kind of feel unsettled and out of sorts until you can get things in their place. Your office looks like it will be such a pleasant place to write. We are happy for you to be there and hope that you will get things sorted out soon. It is hard to be a parent sometimes and make those difficult decisions, but you are putting your child first and that is wonderful. Praying that everything works out for everyone involved. We are busy here enjoying our almost two year old granddaughter. She keeps us on our toes and when she smiles it makes us forget any problems we might have. 😉 Smiles from little kids are good medicine.
Welcome back and welcome to your new home, your office looks great, cheerful and bright with the windows giving you light. While sad about Ty, the visits work both ways and time is a healer with each day getting easier. You have deadlines with your books, but putting the new house in order has no deadline…tackle your office first so you’re comfy, the rest will fall into place. Enjoy your new home and the nice weather..so happy you finally made it home!
I know you will survive the move. Changes are hard. This summer has flown by so quickly. I want to t,ake a few days off and enjoy my kids.
Hi Jane, when I moved home to San Diego from Wa, my son stayed behind too. He had just turned 18, and my house had already sold and I had a new job starting. It broke my heart, but eventually he made his way down. It will all work out.
Welcome back to California! Anxious to read a new book of yours, I have been diving into reading to escape the stress of work !
I know exactly how you feel about having your son not move with you. My son decided to stay in the Philippines instead of moving to the states with me. He eventually decided to come to the states (and has been here since) but it was so difficult to grant him what he wanted. It will all work out and your family will be together again soon. Stay positive.
well i hope you had a good vacation before you got the sudden news on ty wanting to stay in washington…they say everything takes time….so perhaps he will want to become a cali boy 🙂 good luck w.the house, unpacking, and take one day at a time.
You’ve raised a son who is not afraid to make decisions. Good for you.
Hi Jane. I hope your son changes his mind and comes to California. I will be wishing for the best for all of your family. I hope you get settled into your new home soon.
Your life is really crazy right now! Stay strong!
My son just got engaged, and they are planning a Nov. wedding. We have been busy with wedding preparations.
Jane,
I’m sorry to hear about your son’s change of plans. I’m sure it’s hard to be a teen and have to make a tough decision like that. I know it’s tough on you because I’m a mom too and the idea of my kids so much as going to overnight camp someday is going to be so hard. I hope you’ll be able to spend as much time with him as possible.
Unpacking is definitely a chore, but it’s fun to make a new place your own. 🙂
On my end, not too much going on. Seeing Jennifer Weiner tonight (DC has a great author venue, hint, hint) and looking forward to my birthday next week.
Have fun settling in!
Melissa
Jane,
I know you were looking forward to having a home with everyone under one roof. I admire you for allowing your son to do what he felt was best. It is only a short plane ride away so I am sure you will see plenty of him.
We are in North Myrtle Beach on our summer vacation! It has been great. I have a nice tan and have read a few books and my kids snd husband are having a blast! I really enjoyed Susan Elizabeth Phillips new book – The Great Escape!
Good luck settling in!
My second son will be leaving for college in a few weeks and I don’t know how I’m going to adjust to him not being here on a daily basis. I can’t imagine how hard your son’s decision was on you. Our hearts, as mothers, want to give our children what they want even if it’s not what we want. I’ll keep you in my thoughts. Thankfully technology makes being in touch so easy.
I’m sorry to hear that your son decided to stay behind, I can’t imagine how incredibly hard that must be. As for me, we have been dealing with our own life changes. After three years, my husband will finally be working only one job instead of two full time jobs. He will finally be home earlier in the week and be able to see the kids before bed. It will be so wonderful to finally get out of the house as a family not just on the weekends!
hi Jane; i can only imagine what you are going through; as if moving wasn’t a hard enough event to go through. i know you only want what is best for all your boys. today is my youngest son’s birthday; turning a big 17. and with picking up his senior pic proofs only reminds me of how grown he is. he starts his senior year of high school in less than a month. gonna have the tissues ready…sniff,sniff…
take care of yourself first, and the other stuff will be easier to manage; much love to you.
Best of luck with getting settled into your new home.
Jane…..That is so hard….I know, but maybe he will come around…you know leaving his friends at his age is so hard, and to him that would be the end of the world, but his visits will be so much better, and he will know how much you loved him to let him make this very hard decision…you were his age once, heck we all were! Being in your new home is so exciting for you and knowing how you work, you will be put together in no time…..Good Luck on everything, keep your chin up and the time will fly by so fast until you get to see your family all together again!
Hang in there Jane! The chaos will end soon. I thrive on chaos but can’t handle disorganization. 😉 This summer was supposed to slow down for us with the kiddos out of school but it is just the opposite. I just wish I could find time to read a new good book.
Best Wishes to You!!
Holly
hi jane, I have moved so many times I know what your going through. I was lucky all mine were with my kids. this had to be very hard for you but it will work out for both of you. it shows your son how much you love him.
Having a 16 year old, I can only imagine how hard it is not having him with you. I’m trying to get used to the fact that I’ve only got 2 more years before she moves away. I am impressed you were strong enough to make the decision and to listen to him, I don’t know if I could have been as fair or strong! It’s hard enough leaving my family for two weeks to begin my second year of my MFA program – especially since we’ve learned my seven year old has kidney issues. But, right now there is nothing we can do but wait for referrals. Fun times.
Hi Jane-
Sorry Ty has made the choice not to move. It’s good that you and his dad can work things so that he can make this choice though. Hopefully all will work out with the decision in the end.
I am having some medical issues at the moment to deal with. It is turning into more than I had anticipated too as a solution is still not in sight at this point. Hopefully in the next few weeks things will start to improve and look up on that front.
Hope you will share more pictures of the new house once you get all settled in. Hopeing that continues to go smoothly for you. Take care.
Hi Jane,
Congrats on your move. Things will seem settled soon.
So sorry to hear your son didn’t want to make the move too. The adjustment will be tough but with so much technology nowadays, I’m sure ya will keep in constant touch. Hang in there.
Always,
Melinda
Wow, that is a lot for your heart to adjust to…you’re pretty amazing to let your son exercise his independence, but I’m sure it must be torture for you!
I hope you will be able to feel more settled soon.
Meanwhile, I am doing my best to take full advantage of the summer holidays with my kids… keeping them entertained and busy, realizing my goal of getting one nagging project done at home each day (the stuff you put off all year), and most importantly, still finding lots of time to read and relax! Wondering why summer always has to fly by so quickly!
Anxious to read what your new office will inspire! I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it was to move away without your son but I admire the strength and selflessness it took to come to that decision. Perhaps this life event will inspire some new writing too! All the best to you.
I am loving summer! Just read Jennifer Weiner’s latest, and up next is Monarch Beach (at your recommendation). I am looking forward to hearing you talk at Vroman’s in September!
Hope everything goes smoothly for you in your new home!
Jane, you are going through a very difficult time right now but you have to remember that it is the right thing you are doing. I understand your skepticism of whether you made the right decision or not mostly because your son has chosen to stay where he was. Right now, he thinks that his peers in school are more important than his Mom. Give him time. He will soon realize that his real comfort zone is being with you. He’s “feeling his oats” right now so indulge him but only up to a point. If he shows signs that he has made a mistake by not coming with you, make it easy for him to join you. Teenage boys think they know what the world is like but they still NEED you. I hope that he will decide that you are what he needs the most. While he is deciding, you just keep telling yourself that you HAVE done the right thing and it WILL be OK. Keep in touch with your friends and, especially your readers. We are your support group. I’m here to tell you that I moved to Paris with two small boys when my husband was offered a position at a NATO organization there. It was a brave move and while I had some serious doubts at times, it made me strong and was the best thing that ever happened to me. You will do the same, my dear. OK. Sorry to write an epistle here. Just know all is fine! 🙂
Jane, I hope the unpacking goes well. I am sad to hear about Ty staying behind, I hope that he does well though.
I am gearing up for college to start back in a few weeks. I am super excited. I just got done reading Mrs Perfect for the 3rd time. I just love that series.
I hope you have a good weekend. 🙂
Best of luck with everything. It looks like you will have a nice new airy work space. Sorry about your son. I know you will miss him. Thank God for all of the ways we have for keeping in touch.
Jane, You are an inspiration and have the strength to move. Ty will adjust and perhaps decide to move to Ca. to be with you. I am dealing with a serious health issue and continue to have faith and get through each day. treatments, and difficulties but it will be worth it. Best wishes on your move.
Oh Jane I understand your chaos! We moved almost two weeks ago and my office/studio is no where near ready. And every time I go in there to start organizing and putting things in their place, I am needed by one of the kids. I have 3 (ages 5,7 & 8) and have my hands full.
I’m a stay at home mom who does photography on the side (although sometimes it’s more of a full time job) and I am having a hard time balancing everything right now.
Part of me wants to wait on some of it until after the kids start school in August.
Hang in there! 🙂
Melody
Moved into our new home on June 2nd and I am STILL unpacking boxes! Dealing with windows with broken seals that need to be replaced, broken sprinklers, moving, arranging, re-arranging furniture, kitchen tools…the joys of buying a home! It’s all good, and the upside is that we practically live in the pool. You know Fresno summers………..pools are a necessity for survival!
I’m sorry about Ty. Glad that Dad is willing to put him first though. I don’t know what you are going through, but I am keeping you in my prayers, Jane. Hopefully SKYPE works in your new house so you can talk to TY frequently. I imagine he will visit when school schedules allow, and I’ll bet he’s going to miss you and his brothers.
Hugs to you and hang in there! You will conquer!
Hi Jane!
As I read your post, I was reminded of a quote that I first saw on a fridge magnet I gave to my mom when I moved to AZ for college:
“Good parents give their children roots and wings – roots to know where home is and wings to fly off and practice what has been taught them.” ~ Jonas Salk
Ty, and your other boys too, are so lucky to have you as their mom! My own mother would never have allowed any of us to exercise our independence, and make such a decision (hmm, maybe that contributed just a wee bit to my indecisiveness?!
Hi Jane,
I´m busy with more summer guests and have absolutely no time to read or do other things for myself. But my birthday is coming up so that means that we are going camping and I really look forward to this.
I envision you working at your desk while warm ocean breezes blow gently through the open windows. May those winds bring with them new vision, renewed strength, and loads of inspiration. Here’s to creativity, to passion, and to your success! 🙂
Moving is so stressful as is having one fewer son in the house. I hope everything settles down quickly for you and that all will turn out for the best.
Hi Jane,
I know how moving can be and I hope you are able to get organized soon and find some peace. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts through this tough transition in your lives.
As for me, I am enjoying my summer and trying to keep myself busy while my boys are on vacation with their dad. The first few days are always nice and peaceful and then I find myself wishing they were home. I only have a few more days though, as they will be home Sunday night. Yay!
Hang in there Jane <3
I understand completely the feeling of making a move and having one of your children not be happy with the idea. I went through this 7 years ago with my own son. It was a tough decision to let him go live with his father and my heart goes out to you. I wish i could say my summer is full of fun and excitement but it has been full of studying and homework and government and biology reports..wanna trade? 🙂
It was the hardest thing for me to adjust to when my oldest daughter moved out. I had to remember that she was hardly ever home anyways, and she was growing up and I had to learn to appreciate that about her, seeing her become an adult by dealing with real choices and decision making. Put up lots of pictures of him and Skype a lot! Nothing better then real-time chat when you can’t have the person in the room with you! Hang in there 🙂
Geez, I don’t know how you do it. I would go crazy trying to move and then to have one of your kids not want to go; it must be awful. But, you will get through this, the house will get organized, and all will be well.
I’m headed on my “fake” vacation Saturday for the next week…dance Nationals in Atlantic City, NJ. Lots of coordination and costumes, sharing a beach house with two other families. I have TONS of work travel coming up for the next several months, Coast to Coast, Alaska, and London. I’m exhausted just thinking about it, but really, really looking forward to our 7 day Disney cruise at the end of August. That is the only thing keeping me sane right now! 🙂
My three eldest moved out when they were 17 to live on their own in the big smoke. I was lucky with the eldest that I was pregnant with my youngest so I had some distraction. It was the little daily interactions I missed the most rather than the bigger things. I’m sure Ty will keep in close touch with his Mom.
Change is never easy – good for you and your family in finding a way for your son to be happy. Remember to take a minute and enjoy the newness of your place – I do that and am happier for it 🙂 Pam
The very best of luck to you Jane with getting everything done in the house and finally settled in. I’m sure you’ll see your son a lot, though I know the change must be tough. Sending hugs your way. As for me, my sister just arrived into town for a two week visit so I’m happy to get to spend some time with her. We have several family events planned so it should be a fun, and busy next few weeks.
It does get easier when your child makes this kind of decision. My middle one did the same after my divorce. Good luck in the new home. Moved a year ago and still not all the way unpacked.
Good luck with your move, Jane!
I love your books; they are wonderful read from start to finish.
I admire you for the woman you are; for your dedication to your goals and your passion as a mother. Your kids are great. Everything will be fine!
HI Jane,
I hope everything works out for your family. Unpacking a move is no fun! Hope you get
everything organized quickly.
Can’t wait for your next book. I have read some good books this summer but nothing as great as your books are.
Jane- I volunteer to come help you unpack.. all I ask for is some sunshine time and a copy of The Good Woman! :O) Good thoughts and strength for you without Ty. A family I used to babysit for moved from Indiana to Wyoming when the mom remarried and her middle child stayed in Indiana with dad. The dad said I will never let the other boys leave again. I can’t imagine how hard it’s going to be. You’re a strong woman… lucky that you travel a lot… you probably rack up miles and can get some free trips! As for me, I’m just enjoying what’s left of my summer before school starts back. Trying to read my big pile of books. Wish I had your newest, but I guess I’ll have to wait until it comes out! Unless… you need me to come help! haha
Good luck with your new house. My dad always gave us space to have our own explorations, even if it meant distancing from him. Because of his emotional strength that allowed us that freedom, we always came flocking back. Motherhood can be so much more than the typical schedule.
I am reading Liza Palmer’s latest and, because of it, not getting to bed on time.
Hi Jane, all will be well with the new house and Ty and all…it just takes time. Having had all 5 of my children leave home, I know it’s hard but you can get used to it.
So sorry he made that decision, but you were a wonderful Mom for understanding and not forcing him to move. He will always remember that you did that for him. With this age of computers you can keep in touch so easy with videos it will be a little easier for you. Good luck with the unpacking, it is so hard to get settled and get it in the right place. Have faith things always work out with God’s help.
Jane, I hope you’ll be able to set up the office exactly how you want it.
I’m also thinking good thoughts for the situation with your son. He needs you, too.
Love,
Julie
Jane,
I have missed your blogging!!! But so happy you are starting to settle in…though that may take awhile. What a difficult decision it must have been to move without your son. You are so strong!!
I am still adjusting to working full time again. I am exhausted and my kids are moody. My husband is amazing though and has more patience now than he ever did.lol.
Take care and good luck settling in!!
Cindy
Jane, Im so sorry that it is very hard for you with Ty living far away. Hopefully thing will be better for both of you.
As organizing goes. I love to organize the office. I dont know why but only thing I love to file, organize all office supplies etc… I can see that you have plenty of spaces to put thing in. IF you need more organizing ideas. Pinterest have many great office organizing.
Good luck with organizing your office.
Jane,
Sorry your son decided not to move. I know it’s hard for you but I understand how they don’t want to leave their friends and what’s familiar. At least you aren’t too far away. My daughter decided to move with her husband and my adorable 18 month old grandson from WA to TN. Way too far and I’m trying to adjust. It’s hard.
Unpacking is a lot of work. I’ll come help you get that office organized…ha.
Dawn
🙂
I have always hated moving … luckily I haven’t done it often. Hopefully you can get the rest of your house in order so you can start writing again!!!!
🙂
I’ve been busing doing inventory (with a friend) of my daughter’s dance studio. Eek … hard work!
🙂
After my divorce, I was a single mom of a 5 & 8 year old. It was me & my kids against the world, together. Then when my daughter left for college in 2005, I thought my heart would break. It finished breaking last October when my son moved out of state. My kids are 25 & 22 now, and that empty nest really sucks! Not trying to bring you down, just leting you know that we totally understand. I keep thinking, what now? All I know is how to be a Mom…so I just do it long-distance now. HA! Hang in there; it’s tough but how awesome of you to let him spread his wings & give this a try. You never know…he may not be as ready to be that far from Mom yet as he thought.
You are putting on such a brave face and a gracious front. Our book club still talk about you and wish you well. Happy unpacking and settling! Soon you house will be your home:)
Wow Jane! You have stepped in it:) You are a warrior woman!
In the last year you have: planned a destination wedding; gotten married; had a long distance marriage, at that; sold a house; bought a house; moved out of state; written & publish a few books; launch a new (huge & greatly anticipated) Single Title-Trilogy; been raising a toddler; co-parented teens with an ex-spouse; traveled internationally; managed to blog, Facebook & Tweet; been surprised with young Ty’s decision…I’m Exhaused, don’t know how you do it!
We should be giving YOU a prize!
So excited for The Good Woman!
It sounds like you have an open line of communication going and that is what will keep life going for all of you….Moving is difficult for the family because everyone deals with it in their own way, we moved 3 years ago this month from Michigan to Florida and it was an adjustment just dealing with the weather differences. I find its easier for me to take it (mostly unpacking) one day (one box) at a time. Hang in there, meeting new people (at work or in your neighborhood) makes it better!
Jane,
Your house will eventually feel like home, I’m sure. I wouldn’t want to be away from either of my children, either. If I remember correctly, isn’t your son that is staying behind almost college-age? Maybe he’s leaving the nest a bit early, but I’ll bet he will miss you terribly.
I’m playing a single mom for 3 weeks while my husband is serving on staff at Boy Scout camp. It’s definitely more quiet, but tough to try to get everything done myself. Hoping your house calms down soon!
We will have lived in our “new” house for almost 11 months and my craft room still looks the same! Can’t seem to get motivated to organizing it.
Man, being a mom who only wants their children to be happy is hard isn’t it?? Good luck with the new move and the new adjustment to your family.
Jane, I can only imagine how you feel with your son. I have no children, but it would throw me for a loop too.
We will be moving in the next two weeks. Not out of state but out of city…to an actual house! So excited! Looking forward to figuring out where everything goes. I don’t have much, but it means a lot to me.
Here’s hoping you get your house unpacked and organized before mine. Cheers!!
I’m hoping you adjust fairly quickly to not having your son close by — it cannot be easy. You’re a wonderful mom for “letting” him stay behind, and kudos to his dad for relocating.
This summer has been busy so far….hoping it slows down a little so we can enjoy it! At the end of August, my husband, kids & I are heading to a lake nearby where we have rented a cottage for a week! Soooo looking forward to it – can’t come soon enough.
Enjoy your summer & hope you settle in quickly. Cheers!
Hi Jane!
Ugh! I feel for you! I hate moving! The chaos drives me crazy, but think about how great it will be to have everything so newly organized!
Sorry to hear about your son. I’m sure it was a hard decision for him, too. Hope all will settle soon!
Love the windows in your office…looks like a great place to write!
Take care,
Amy
What a big adjustment! Good luck!
I hope you’re settling in well. It certainly is a juggling act but the fun part is starting fresh and decorating from sratch. The not to fun is getting everything to sync.
This weekend I’ll be heading out into the outdoors. I’ll be under the shade of trees and near a lake, which totally great for cooling off.
Moving can be so stressful. I hope you got to recharge your battery so to speak on your cruise. Don’t take your sons decision to stay in Bellevue personally. He’s just at that age when their friends are so important to them that they can’t imagine life without them. We had talked about moving when our daughters were teenagers & they were totally against it. They don’t want to leave their friends or their comfort zone.
Tomorrow I’m taking a road trip to Reno to play in the bingo blowout. A nice break from home. And if I get to yell bingo & win some money I’ll be a happy camper! And I’m bringing my computer to hopefully get some writing done in the quiet hotel room. Hopefully.
Can’t say I know what you are going through because I have stayed in the same house we move in when we got married although we did like add a half of house to it and remodeled all of the old was a job if I have to say so my self. Sorry to hear about Ty but it shows he is growing up and I know you will miss him.
I just had back surgery last week so can not get on the computer much because I can’t set there long so will check in when I can. I have been having back problems since Jan, so hopefully this will help it.
So you want to hear from us huh? Ok- recall I’m kind-of new to you- but I DID have to read another “She’s Gone Country” and it really messed up MY house chores- ’cause I had to finish it- loved it too. We could be on to something here! And I just got off work- so was catching up- I agree with what most everyone said here- must be hard- hard on him too. Don’t know circumstances so won’t venture to say it could be good in long run etc. We’ll have to bond over a couple of margaritas to figure that part out.
Do you have help here? Seriously? Family etc.? Really- I’m around- doing my stuff- but it’s just stuff- no deadlines- humm… you have my email- Facebook etc. Both my spawn are taking off- Lisa went off to Comic-con in San Diego and Michael is off to the desert tomorrow- the DH is working – So yeah- let me know. What is UP with the rain??? I love the thoughts about you sitting there in the warm sun shine! Yeah- SOMEBODY bought rain here… no names- but ahm. I believe she has YOUR initials. Just sayin’ ! It never rains in July here…. well almost never. I was so surprised when I walked out from work. What the heck! I started texting and realized I was getting the phone wet and that might not be a good thing. So- Hope you’re fired up to tackle things tomorrow- or maybe just say “forget it!” and find stuff to do with the family cause the stuff will still be there- and warm fuzzies help sometimes. I’ll watch your blog or hear from you- hope you’re sleeping soundly now- I gotta go hit the shower and turn this stuff off. It’s been way too long of a day for me!!!
Unpacking and remodeling at the same time? Arghh. Been there. Done that. Lived to tell the tale. Don’t envy you.
Sad to hear your son will be staying behind for now. I am astounded that his father was willing to relocate from Arizona so he could do this. Know your heart is heavy over this.
Lot happening in your life lately. Hope you’re taking time to wander along the beach or ??? to sooth your soul.
Keeping a good thought for you.
Hi Jane: Glad to hear the house is coming together, even though it must seem like utter chaos as the moment. Have had a busy week with an interview for a temporary job; worked on a Facebook page for a new acquaintance to help with her new business selling headbands, tutus and cute outfits for infants and children and also running around getting ready for our vacation next week. Have also been thinking a lot about you and what you are going through with Ty choosing to stay in Bellevue. Our local bookstore recommended a new novel for YA from Jodi Picoult and her teenage daughter, Samantha Van Leer. Here is the description of the book: “New York Times bestselling author Jodi Picoult and her teenage daughter present their first-ever novel for teens, filled with romance, adventure, and humor” I believe in one of your earlier posts, you said that Ty likes to write. Perhaps you and he could write a novel or novella together based on a storyline of mutual interest, or even about what you are both going thru with being separated during the school year. I know there are many other families also dealing with this issue and you could write from the viewpoint of the mother and/or father and the teenage child. Just a thought. Hope the house gets put back in order soon, but in the meantime, your mental and physical health is more important. No one will care how the house looks and as long as you get your office organized enough to work, the rest will wait.
Whoops – the title of the Jodi Picoult novel is “Between The Lines”
Good luck with the “moving in” process. We have lived in our house for 8 years and I still have boxes that have not been unpacked….which means I really don’t need what it’s inside of them very much!! 😉
Can’t wait for the new book to come out! Ever consider writing a sequel to Mrs Perfect, She’s Gone Country…or any of your other books? I would love to know what happens to the characters after “the end”! 🙂
Have a great day!
You sure are going through a lot. Moving is never too much fun until everything is back in order and you can find all your things among the boxes etc.
I am sure your heart is bleeding about your son wanting to stay behind. Sometimes kids have this kind of reactions. I cannot see him not missing you or his brothers and maybe he will change his mind.
All the best to all of you and I hope you can find some serenity among all the chaos.
Dear Jane, I hope everything settles right for you. I wish you the best!
Kanya 😉
I am having a pretty good summer so far despite some health issues. I am launching my new business and have been doing a lot of volunteer work at my favorite non-profit; The West Seattle Food Bank. Yesterday we handed out food to hundreds of families and I took on a new job there, so it was a good day. Today we have a booth with The West Seattle Helpline set up at the West Seattle Summer Fest. We are selling raffle tickets for a fundraiser, super fun! My latest book (at least 1 a day!) is the 1st Jane Austin Mystery. Plus, this afternoon I finish our moving process, or at least go and get a 5 x 15 storage’s worth of books, shelves and whatnot trucked home… Sigh, it will take forever to get everything settled; I completely relate, Jane!
Good luck on getting everything and everyone settled, have a good weekend!
You did a great job at parenting and your son is living proof. And what a wonderful relationship he must have with his father, that his father would pack up and move to be with him. I would fix up his room and let him know it’s always there for him, it can always be used as guest room.. I would believe he struggled with telling you, in fear of hurting you. Just be prepared when he visits and BAM! He meets a beautiful Cali girl and hello mama he’s back home.
🙂
Hi Jane,
Everything will work out and fall in to place… and be pretty tough without your son Ty, hopefully he will frequently visit. You will start loving CA , as everything slows down a bit.
Hope it gets better soon!!
I wish I could afford to move there. ( CA)
I am moving too right now. The craziness!!
I am going through a divorce… not pretty. I want a new start (thought moving would help, since I was in our house for twenty years) and now hitting bumps in the road as I am trying to get there.
I want my 13 year old son to live with me, but he may choose to live with his father.
I believe that things are going to work out and will get better soon 🙂
Take care Jane!
Oh Jane I don’t envy you the next couple of weeks unpacking.
That’s a tough decision on Ty’s part, for everyone involved. My oldest daughter moved out at 15 to pursue her sport and it was a huge adjustment for us all. Good luck to you.
I am in the middle of horse show season and it is hot, hot, hot and humid up here in Montreal.
I am doing some reading, working announcing at the horse shows and working at my regular job…and missing my garden… but I’ll get to it in August!
Hi Jane,
It’s still so hard to believe you are not just across the border any longer. I hope you will still come up for the Emerald City Conference.
Your new office looks fantastic and I’m sure once you get everything in just the right place you will create up a storm (more Single Title’s perhaps?).
So sorry to hear about Ty and I agree with the others about your ability to give him wings as hard as it must be. My little one’s are only 6, 10 and almost 13, but I can’t even imagine being able to do that some day. Like the others, I too wonder if he’ll change his mind. However, I know that you are a terrific mom and you will manage this with the grace that you juggle everything with.
Take care!
Hi Jane~
Sorry to hear about your son not moving with you. That has to be incredibly hard. I know those teen years are hard years to relocate. I am sure everything will work out and you can plan visits as often as possible.
I don’t envy you all the unpacking but after visiting my sister-in-law’s completely clutter free home due to them being active duty and moving every few years, a small part of me wishes we would move because it would force all of us to go through our “stuff.” With my mother’s passing earlier this year, I have many boxes from her that I am not sure what to do with in our small house and my kids bringing things home from school when it ended, my husband changing jobs and bringing boxes home that haven’t moved in months, we just have so much clutter. Hopefully I will get motivated this summer to go through some of it.
My boys (hubby and son) are off at scout camp this week and so my daughter and I have enjoyed our time together. We had a great shopping trip to the mecca of our area Tysons Corner, pedicures and a beach day and tonight, movie night. It’s been such fun.
Take care and know as I declutter, I am thinking of you unpacking!
Hi Jane!Keep swimming! That’s Erin’s motto! As usual we have had all kinds of things going on. Rob has been without a job for the last 4 mo. Erin’s baby Micah (our miracle baby) has been hospitalized twice since he was born Mar. 17 . He had surgery 2weeks ago and did great but he is on oxygen because mostly when he sleeps he stops breathing and doesn’t start again on his own. Erin has been having a lot of trouble with pain because of her brain surgery last yr. The surgery caused nerve damage in her neck and head. I try and help them as much as I can. I keep her older child Bella when she and the baby are in the hospital-16 days this last time. And if all this is not enough I have broken off 4 teeth and need 22,000 dollars of dental work!!!! Just Great!!! But, I am thankful that Micah and Erin are doing ok and so is the rest of my family and hopefully Rob will find a job and all of the rest will work itself out! That is what I wish for you and also try to remember how lucky you are to have a new beautiful home and a wonderful new husband and 3 sons that are healthy. Things do work out if you can “just keep swimming” and keep faith!!! Teenagers are tough no mater how good a parenting job you are doing. I think of you often and think how great it was to meet you in the airport in Seattle!
Hang in There!!!!
Kathi
Aww my heart goes out to you with all the changes happening in your life it is sad to hear about your son, but hold tight he will always be thankful that you did right by him and as a mother we all want our kids to be happy even if they are not close in person always close in your heart. Husband having a birthday tomorrow so we are having friends over for a pool party and lunch on Sunday with other friends. Hang in there Jane it will all be normal life soon!
Jane, just want you to know that you continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. Your support of Ty’s decision speaks volumes for the close, loving,and respectful lives you live and foster. I remember my Mom having said to me when I moved thousands of miles from home: “I brought you up to be independent and da* it, you are!”(Had never heard Mom say “da*” before;)! You’ve been bringing Ty up to value his decisions and be an independent thinker. Kudos to you and your former Husband/Ty’s Dad to partner with you so well with this decision. And to Ty G. for being your shoulder. Blessings to your family in the trying and triumphant days ahead. (Not in contest)
Good Luck with settling in! Change is always hard. We moved to the south when my oldest daughter was 12. She hard a really hard time, missing her friends and girls are very catty and hard to break into established groups. She definitely would have wanted to stay with her friends if it would have been possible. It’s so hard to let your kids go. Hope all goes well for young Ty as he breaks away…
Good morning, everyone! It’s a foggy morning so far here in San Clemente but I think the coastal fog will soon start to burn off. I do love living here, though. It definitely already feels like home.
I have 3 winners for this week’s prizes:
#15 Marlene E
#55 Melody
#84 Katy
Love to all!
Jane
I’m so excited to be picked as one of the winners. I just sent you an e mail with all the info. Thanks so much, Jane. I look forward to receiving my goodies 🙂 xoxoxoxo
Jane, so excited to be a winner! What do we do? Hope I’m not too late-I just remembered to come check!
Congrats to the winners! Jane, glad that it is already feeling like home. We didn’t really have our “June Gloom,” here so I guess it decided to make an appearance in July, hopefully it will be sunny by noon. Happy Saturday everyone!
Congratulations to the winners. Have a great weekend everyone.
I could not have left my son behind. How old is he? What is going on with me is depressive. I’m battling losing my insurance and it could cripple me.
Hi Jane- sure have missed you. Ty will be okay because you’re his Mom and he has a Dad that is selfless and making sacrifices that we do as good parents. Good Luck with all the unpacking and look forward to your next post.
I’m trying to help my son pack for school and he’s never home to help, working only have one baby in my daycare but I know I’ll get more…my daughter is also going to school but at our local community college..so much os going on…once Kenny leaves I’ll make his room into a playroom..thats my plan..still waiting for Mike to sign the papers but not going to scream anymore, I have some great friends(guys and woman to get me thru the rough times, like when I went country line dancing and had Mike’s friends spying on me…I was with my son and his girlfriend and a group of other friends..its ok for him to go out…anyways, just worrying about myself..you’ll adjust without Ty, its hard for I’m sad on Kenny leaving and i know its his time to go after his dream.. and Marian’s he’s a good loving kid and I know he’ll go far and be good at his job as a diesel mechanic…thats his dream. I can’t wait to read your new book and this one that Claire wrote..have a good evening!
Hi Jane, best of luck with the unpacking and organizing. We’ve been in our home now for 22 years. With our youngest going off to college my mind is on downsizing. I realize now that the two of us don’t need all of the room and “stuff” that we once did when the three kids were growing up.
Blessings to you in your new home.
Hello Jane,
Do you have a new mailing address?
Yesterday I started moving my office as well. My mom had moved in with us two years ago to help me when I had radiation, and she had wanted the small room my office was in. So now two years later, I am moving my office back to the small room and she is taking the bigger room! I have this awesome rolltop desk that comes apart in three pieces and is solid oak (my husband loves me lots to move this bad boy again!). Anyway I am happy because I felt my writing was more productive in the small room.
Jane, I’m sorry to hear your one son isn’t moving with you. hopefully you will still get to see him alot. Hopefully all the work at the house will be finished fast and you can get settled in with out the stress.
I’m back home from the shore again. longer time there this time around because my birthday was friday. it went way too fast but a good long weekend finished 2 books which I’m happy about. Now trying to do the catch up game at home before going back to the shore again. Even got a 1/2 hour walk before I left this morning in the heat. took me forever to cool down afterwards. I guess I have to push myself to get up earlier to walk in this weekend.
Moving is the worst! We’ve been here 15 years and I hope to never have to do it again! Hope things go smoothly for you
Aloha Jane,
My heart is hurting for you at the news that son Ty decided not to make the move with you. I can only imagine how hard that sudden decision must have been for you, and probably will continue to be for a while. Just trust that everything will work out in the end, it always does! He is starting to assert his independence, and that is hard to go through, but it’s also a beautiful thing to watch a boy grow into a man. Know that you have been such a wonderful, positive influence on him, and will continue to be!
Much love and light to you and surfer Ty as you settle into your new life.