Can’t Eat Chicken

Or steak.  Or meat of any kind.  I mean, I can sometimes, maybe, take a bite, but Jane–the girl who loves chicken and steak–is totally grossed out by both. 

I’m still queasy much of the day, with morning being the best and then it goes from bad to worse at noon, with early evening through bedtime a moan of misery.   But I can still eat toast, I’m back to enjoying my cold cereal, and I have a huge thing right now for cottage cheese.  Like a quart a day.  I eat a small dish of cottage cheese every couple hours and then crave cheese sandwiches and cheese enchiladas and man, on man, am I packing on the weight.

I have a friend who is pregnant and due just before me and she’s gained two pounds.  Two.  I’ve gained fourteen.  Fourteen.  Guess who looks pretty chunky right now? And I have how many months to go? 

It’s no use telling me to cut back.  I’m barely functioning, there’s not much to cut back to, and if I don’t eat constantly I’m even sicker, so it is what it is and this is how I do pregnancy. 

You will, by the way, notice fewer photos of me from now on.  And anything added will be artfully cropped, and possibly photo-shopped.  Yes, I am that vain.  No, I will not change. 

I never had a problem with weight until I lived in South Africa as a foreign exchange student for a year during my last year of high school.  I went to a boarding school in Natal and was terribly homesick as well as inundated with shepard’s pie and cottage pie and heaps of buttered toast and twice a day tea served with tarts and biscuits.  And more toast.   I don’t think I saw a vegetable in months, short of the peas buried in the casseroles, and within months I had packed on thirty pounds, poundage that put stretch marks from my knees to the top of my hips.

I ate because I was lonely.

I ate because food was an activity.

I ate because some of it tasted pretty damn good.

Being pregnant reminds me of that year in South Africa where I ate compulsively and soon developed a lasting insecurity over my weight as my weight became a problem I couldn’t control.  I’m eating again, eating lots of foods I don’t normally eat but I have to remind myself to go easy on myself.  I remind myself that I’ve lost the baby weight before, I’ll lose it again.  I remind myself I’m making a baby.  Remind myself that it’s been a tough pregnancy but a healthy baby is the goal.

Remind myself to reach for an apple instead of another slice of buttered toast.

And remind myself to keep my sense of humor.  It’s been ten years since I was last pregnant.  I can’t imagine I’ll ever be pregnant again.  This is it.  The big last one.  So savor it, enjoy it.  Relax.

And I think I can.  As long as I don’t have to look at chicken.

31 Comments

  1. Hey Jane: You do what you’ve got to do to get through this. Do not start worrying about your weight now. Like you said you will lose that baby weight and fast because now you will have three children to keep up with. Oh my goodness!! And the most important thing is a healthy baby. That is all that matters. I am so excited for you all. Take care of Jane and baby!!

  2. Jane – know that you are LOVELY no matter how big you get with Baby! No need to be vain – we all love seeing you! It’s truly what’s inside that counts – a baby that we can hardly wait to see!

    Breathe and enjoy this special time.

    ~LeAnne

  3. Jane,

    I totally understand. I had to constantly eat what was appealing to keep the nausea from turning into active throwing-up. Interestingly, my abhorrence of chicken turned into a love of friend chicken during months 2-4 (even though I think I had only eaten fried anything three times in my life up to that point) and then it turned into grilled chicken months 5-8 (thank God!). I had my baby five weeks early, at a health 7.1 pounds, so maybe that chicken helped.

    Viva la cottage cheese! And don’t worry about the weight. You’ll get it off. And don’t worry about the vanity. I didn’t have anyone take my picture during or immediately after my pregnancy. Vanity is a female foible. ;o)

    -Susan

  4. Hang in there…at least you feel well enough to eat. I was like that as well. I felt like I was on a constant merry go round and the only way to feel better was to eat. I gained ALOT of weight but I got it off eventually. Focus on the baby and your health. There is a reason for your cravings and for the weight gain and you want to give your baby the best!

  5. Jane, I completely relate. I had to eat when I was first pregnant or I felt sooo sick. I gained 13 pounds before the end of my first trimester. You can lose it, and you definitely have your priorities straight!

    x Kate

  6. Jane,

    I am not pregnant and I don’t intend to be pregnant and yet, I just keep eating lately…I don’t have time to work out anymore and I really hate to think about what the scale said at my doctor’s appointment a few weeks ago. I didn’t like the number…My clothes still fit so it can’t be that bad right? But seriously, I need an intervention with the halloween candy! It’s terrible and not only am I going to need a diet before the holidays even start but now I am going to need a dentist appt too! At least you have a beautiful baby inside!! I only have myself to blame!
    Take care of yourself and the baby! And don’t worry about the weight that you can take off later!!

  7. Those of us who know and love you realize that you will NEVER loose your sense of humor.

    Hang in there and remember it’s so worth it! Got any names picked out yet?

  8. HI Jane,
    I know you will survive. I had the all day sickness through both of my pregnancies. I had to eat plain toast, crackers and grits with a little butter.
    But I craved orange juice. I drank it by the jug fulls. Go figure.
    Oh you know you will look beautiful no matter how many pounds. A healthy baby is worth it.

  9. You are beautiful no matter what…and I am having a hard time imagining you as chunky! Just enjoy this time. Interesting about the meat–I never eat meat myself since I am a vegetarian. But I have heard of some vegetarians who CRAVE meat during pregnancy. Odd how the body and mind work.

  10. well you are pregnant so you should be a little chunky. With my first daughter I gained 15 pounds the first month! I was on some kind of medication to keep me from losing the baby and I kept telling them THAT was why, but even though all the side effects said “may cause substantial weight gain” the dr’s kept saying I was eating too much. So finally I think I believed them and started eating too much! So to this day, I say it was my Dr’s fault. Ha ha Just kidding.

  11. Jane, I know just how you feel. When I was pregnant I could not stand the smell of meat cooking…which was pretty hard to make dinner for my family. Of course my husband loved to cook bacon every Sunday morning. UGH!!! I also gained 35 pounds with my first daughter and she was a month early! I often find comfort in eating and felt like I could eat a little more with an excuse because I was after all eating for two (lots of time it looked like I was eating for triplets LOL). Like you said, the main goal is a happy, healthy baby!

  12. Enjoy the food. This is a wonderful gift being pregnant! There’s so much else you have to cut back on, why go all food monitor. I’m not saying eat a zillion chocolate pies, but enjoy the cravings 🙂 And you’ll totally lose it.

    I crave cheese/dairy all the time and I’m not prego. Mmm. Cottage cheese and dill is delish.

    I’m so glad you’re doing well!

  13. Oh! And I forgot to add–I gained 80 freaking pounds when I was pregnant! (But I had some health things) Five years later I’ve only got 15lbs more to go before I’m back to pre-preg weight. And even that’s not my ideal!

  14. Jane,
    What other diet can you lose 20 lbs. overnight? Yes, those last pounds are difficult to lose, but you know you can and will, so just enjoy what tastes good and take care of yourself! There is a reason people want to “pat” a pregnant belly – everyone loves mothers-to-be, and they, and you, are beautiful.

  15. So I’m now 8 weeks and so queasy I had to cancel our Thanksgiving plans to fly back East and be with my family. No way am I getting on a flight like this. Afternoons/evenings are the worst and I can’t sleep right now because I’m so incredibly queasy!!!

    Anyway, I hope that this passes for you soon and you start feeling better!!!

  16. I sympathize with you Jane. I was one of those woman who was ill almost from the time of conception till the day I delivered. Not much looked, smelled, or tasted good when I was pregnant with my last baby.
    Don’t be to hard on yourself. Eat what can stay down and so what if you throw on a few extra pounds… it will come off later. Take care.

    hugs,

    Micole

  17. Oh poor Jane, I totally sympathize. I had all day sickness with both my pregnancies, even though I didn’t throw up until I was in labour. The only thing I could eat that would make me feel better was bread and peanut butter…consequently I gained 70 pounds the first time and 50 the second. I would walk past the mirror and cry with all the hormones. You will lose the weight, you know you can! Just worry about feeling good now and taking care of your baby! 6 years later and I’m 15 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight and I feel great, AND more importantly, I have 2 beautiful boys that don’t care if I’m fat or skinny!

  18. Hopefully you will be past this part soon. I can’t remember how many weeks you are? Anyway, don’t worry about the weight. I’m sure that you look great! Now, you have to let us know if you will be finding out whether you are having a girl or a boy!

  19. God bless you for mentioning those stretch marks….in this day and age I swear that’s the last unmentionable thing left in our ‘overshare’ society. And yet, who can’t relate? Hang in there cupcake, everything will be okay.

  20. I can’t say anything that wasn’t already posted. You are a beautiful woman and an inspiration to us all. I am 49 and I was just thinking, man I wish I looked like Jane!

  21. mama jane …
    wow just reading your blog takes me right back to my pregnancy. funny how you never forget. i am sure you hate hearing this, but you will get better! and of course in the end you have that little bundle of joy which makes it all worth it! dont fret on the weight it will come off & you will get back to your old awesome self! hang in there….

  22. Hey! Isn’t it funny how pregnancy affects women differently?! I actually lost weight, because I couldn’t think of eating…but I sure made up for it afterward! haha I’m having a premiere party and I would love to have some goodie bags for my guests. How do we go about ordering them from you?! It would be fun if everyone who has a party actually sent you pictures of their night together!

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