The Bachelor Finale

Despite fighting a cold, I spent three hours watching the Bachelor last night and it was three hours that could have easily been condensed into two. Or even ninety minutes. I’d heard the scuttle ahead of time that Jason, this season’s Bachelor, a single dad from Kirkland, WA (Kirkland’s right next to Bellevue, where I live) ends up dumping his first choice for his second choice in the “after the ring” show.

Not everyone watches the show, but even those that don’t, might have heard some of the online chatter today about how Jason broke two hearts, or how he shouldn’t have dumped Melissa for Molly, or whatever. A link to one of the online articles is here and I’m curious what my readers think.

Personally I believe no one should continue with a relationship that isn’t working, or going to work.

More to the point, Jason hadn’t married Melissa. There were no children involved (other than his young son from his previous marriage who hadn’t formed a serious attachment to Melissa yet). There was nothing but a six week TV show followed by a six week long distance relationship.

Yes, it’s sad that this pretty and sweet Dallas twenty-five year old got dumped on national TV. And it’s sad that things didn’t work out for them. But that’s what dating is all about. That’s why people date, and hopefully date for long enough to discover whether you’re compatible or not, have chemistry or don’t, and that your personalities can handle conflict. As humiliating as it must have been for Melissa to be rejected for another, I thought she lacked compassion and some maturity during the whole discussion and break up as she blamed Jason for everything. But come on! Melissa chose to go on the show.  She chose to play a game. She chose to sign a contract. The Bachelor–and I watch this show every time–is a high risk game, and its entertainment, and the relationships usually don’t last. That’s not to say I wouldn’t love to see them last. I’m a romantic and a softie and Melissa was someone I cheered for from the beginning, but when people aren’t happy together and you’re still in the dating stage, then do what Jason did–admit you’ve made a mistake and move on.

But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Jason did have a commitment to Melissa and should have stuck it out even if the chemistry had changed and the attraction had gone. What do you think? Share your thoughts and you’re entered in my March Weekend contest where the prize is a plush robe, a travel bag of body and bath products, a bottle of fruity scented bubble bath, a $10 Barnes & Noble gift card and tons more goodies. The contest runs through Friday night. I’ll post the winner Saturday morning. Do check back on Saturday, read the comment section to see if you’ve won and then for heaven’s sake, claim the prize!!


  1. Hi Jane,
    ok, I think as bad as it was, Jason did the right thing in letting Melissa go. At least it didn’t go as far as her getting more emotionally envolved with him and his son. Were the feelings real?? who’s to say, and how difficult to find this on national tv in front of millions of people. Meeting the man or woman of your dreams and falling in love is hard enough in person and “real life”, although everyone did know this before getting involved.
    I agree that no one should continue a realtionship when it’s known it is known for a fact it is not working, and all prospects of helping it have been exhausted. It is better to be happy alone, than unhappy with someone.
    One of the most important things is to be honest with yourself always, and with others.

  2. WOW, I love your blog on this! I have been watching the show on and off all season, but I always watch the season finale of the show. They do drag it out! Even more tonight with the second part of “After The Final Rose” (I even have it on in the background). I did watch him on Jimmy Kimmel last night and he explained a lot of what goes on with the show and how he had do dump Melissa on the show. Like you said, she signed up for the show and knew what it was all about. I definately did not like the way Melissa acted and it was very immature, but I do understand at the same time she must have been really hurt. He said they were talking on the phone and she knew it wasn’t working out so it wasn’t a total shock to her.

    I think I have put too much effort into this reality show! LOL. I was chatting with a friend online last night during the whole show. I was chuckling as I read many status updates on Facebook at everyones’ reactions. It’s too much drama, but hey I am still watching! I wish them all the best of luck.

  3. Wow – It just made me realize how hard love can be. I felt sorry for both of them but better now than later.

  4. I didn’t watch but my lunch bunch buddies at work all talked about the show today. They were so mad they said they are not going to get sucked into watching next year. People thought the ending was scripted because they needed something different to happen, and he really never wanted Melissa. Television is fake -imagine that!

  5. Hi Jane,
    Hope your feeling better soon!
    We watched the bachelor last night, even my husband was up last night watching,
    wondering who Jason was going to pick. We plan on watching tonight at 10o’clock for Part 2
    We didn’t realize there was an extra hour until ten o’clock. I agree, the show was too long,
    90 minutes would have been good.
    Jason was honest with himself before things got to serious like marriage. So that was good
    and having a child involved is BIG. Jason had thought about, what was going to work him &
    his son. But Jason was so confused. Then to see if Molly wanted to get together
    with him, after being dumped. Shocking!!

    Some relationships start off a little rocky, my husband and I had a rocky start. We went out for 8 months, then separated, then got back together a few months later. And we have been together ever since. Almost 20 years married & 3 Beautiful children.

    I think Molly should give it a try, then she will have no regrets, wondering what could of happen. I wish them Luck! Poor Melissa, but if isn’t going to work, it isn’t going to work!

    Just love the picture of you with your friend Kari. I loved being pregnant, but I didn’t get too many pictures of me pregnant. I wish I had. Take lots & lots pictures. I still wish I had, had pictures done with each of my children individually just them and me. When they were little.
    Especially with my son and me.
    Now he is 10 years and won’t let me give him a kiss before school.Too funny! The things I think about years later, I wish I would have done.
    Keep those feet up! Take care!

  6. this is exactly why i don’t like to watch the reality TV that deals with the matters of the heart. I just don’t like to see people’s hearts get broken.. of course… i don’t watch survivor either.

  7. I just watched tonight’s show, and I was glad to see how happy Jason and Molly are. I know that he hurt Melissa, but he made the right decision to break things off. This is his real life, and he realized he made a mistake.

    During these shows, couples spend a limited amount of time together, so I can understand how things can change once you really spend a lot of time with each other.

    Some people say that he never should have asked Melissa to marry him if he was so conflicted over Molly. The thing is that he felt pressure from the show to choose one person and create the HEA ending of the show. In real life I am sure that he would have taken more time to decide.

    I wish Jason and Molly the best. I hope they make it!

  8. Jane, I couldn’t agree with you more.

    I was thinking the EXACT same thing as I watched her shake her head and demand him to be honest with her.

    This is a REALITY TV SHOW, the odds of it working out are very small.

    I just don’t understand these women that don’t go into this mentally prepared. Be prepared to get your heart broken because the chances of that happening are very good!

    Sometimes I think all these women just want their 15 minutes of fame.

    With all that being said, I am a big fan of the show. I’m a softie and I want everyone to find love but I just don’t think you’re going to find it by participating on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette.

    All in all, like you said, it’s entertainment. Do I wish that hadn’t happened to Melissa? Of course! Do I hope things work out for Jason and Molly? Of course!

    I think ABC just got what they wanted with a hit show again…

  9. I didn’t watch last night’s show, although I do normally watch the finale of The Bachelor. I just couldn’t this season. This whole season I couldn’t do it because of involving a child in the whole thing. I understand that the child didn’t meet the women, but still. The potential for heartbreak there is just astronomical. Even above just the man and the woman.

    What I heard of last night’s show said it was a train wreck. So I’m glad I didn’t watch. I usually end up liking the one they didn’t pick better anyway! LOL Hopefully he will be happy with his choices.

  10. I think Jason seems like such a sweet guy and I personally don’t think he would try to hurt people. He has had too many people do that to him. I think Jason made the right decision to dump Melissa. If the feelings aren’t there, there not there. I think it would have been a lot worse to lead a life with Melissa when your constantly thinking of another women.
    People need to realize, this Bachelor process is a quick one. These people are rushed into relationships in a “fantasy” world. Of course when you start to spend more time with people in the real world things will change! I think Jason was totally right to go with his heart and what HE wanted rather than try to make America happy!

  11. It was all appalling on some level. How can you rush into such a big commitment before really knowing with whom you are engaging? Relationships are hard and must be nurtured. They take time to develop.

    Shows like this are horrible examples of how to enter a relationship. Unfortunately though, this is the mentality of many and yes, it does get better ratings. I’m surprised Jerry Springer didn’t make a special guest appearance!

    Love is a fragile thing not a frivolous, disposable emotion. And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high???

    So the Bachelor is not for me. I’ll stick with the Biggest Loser. That’s about as much drama as I can take. When will they ever leave the poor kid alone???

  12. Being married or in a relationship is a lot of work under the best, most loving circumstances. If you haven’t chosen the right person, or don’t know if it’s the right person, it’s not time to commit! Debbie

  13. i agree with you- this was tv, what else should anyone expect??
    besides that, if the chemistry isnt there then its time to move in. i think people has this thing that they have to be with someone and then they stay together because it becomes easier than being “alone”.

  14. I can’t believe I am the only one so far that didn’t watch.
    I have to say that I am about tired of reality tv. I try to avoid those shows now. I don’t know what to believe anymore when watching those shows. I wonder how much of it really is real.

  15. Honestly, it’s a game on tv. So I find it so interesting that people have such emotional responses to it. (Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE 24 and get emotional watching it, but I don’t forget that it’s a tv show.=) At the end of the day, the contestants sign a contract. It’s been known that parts of these shows are scripted. So, I guess I don’t find it shocking that this happened. And to be honest, I didn’t watch, either. I just can’t get into reality tv. =)

  16. I’m not a fan of reality tv except for the amazing race. I guess I look at it this way – if you’re going to put yourself on national tv to look for your signigicant other, then you have to deal with the outcome however good or bad. Also, how can Jason say he wants to date Melissa and just be friends with Molly?

  17. I didn’t watch the show, but I do not like the idea of a guy dumping his fiancee on television. To me that is just something that should be kept in private. Hasn’t every other Bachelor done the dumping in private? It just sounds like a lack of respect for a woman that he used to have feelings for.

  18. I watched too. I think you are right. Everyone knew the risks when they got involved with the show.
    I thought is was a bit much to air the break up though. And then to have him turn to Molly on the same show…oh, my. Unbelievable!

  19. I’ll caveat from the start by saying that I have never and will never watch The Bachelor or its off shoots. Not my thing. I did however hear about this kerfluffle from my EW subscription e-mails. I think the man has every right to change his mind, just like the woman does. I think expectations in this game are so high for the onscreen stuff and then you get off screen and have to live in the real world and things change. One comment I read in the news pointed out that Megan would have been rejected on camera if Jason had chosen Molly from the outset – so what’s the difference that she’s rejected on camera now. The difference is because it sends the message that once he really got to know her off camera (even if it was only via a long distance relationship [I really don’t know; see above comment re: don’t watch the show]), Jason found he really didn’t prefer Melissa after all. There are a lot of implications that go with that.

    Relationships are hard (so I’m told. Been so long since I’ve seen one personally that I’m wondering if the ‘kids’ are doing it differently these days) and to think that the perfect relationship is automatically the woman picked in a nationally televised “competition” is unrealistic. You try something with someone, date, and if it doesn’t work, you part, hopefully with no bad feelings, kiss, kiss darling. Besides, none of these Bachelor relationships has prospered, to my understanding. To rake a guy over the coals because he saw it wasn’t working and took a new chance on making a change seems more than a little hypocritical. So, points to Jason the tool (as EW named him) for having the guts to do what he felt was right for him – and, consequently, his son – and not just sticking to the script like all the rest.

  20. I don’t watch but I can’t believe all the publicity this gets from my morning radio shows (music), cable news and the newspaper! I believe he did the right thing.

  21. I have never watched The Bachelor, and I haven’t heard any of the buzz about this, but based strictly on the information provided, I think Jason did the right thing. I would never advocate staying in a relationship that has no hope of developing into a happy, loving relationship for both people.

  22. It is upsetting to the individuals and they have to be aware of how things will turn out. I cannot believe that this would be the outcome but in reality shows that is the problem.

  23. Hi Jane,
    I watch this show every season it’s on and you just hope that it will really work out for them in the end. I’m a hopeless romantic so I always want to see the fairy tale ending. I think everyone was initially shocked with Jason’s decision and everyone wants to hate him now, but I too believe you have to do what’s best for you. There has to be something between Melissa and Jason that just wasn’t working. Watching last night it looks like he made the right decision. It looked like Molly and Jason were extremely happy. I hope it works out for the both of them. Have a great week.

  24. Hi Jane!

    I think Jason was right in what he did. This was a game they were playing, but it was a game that could change their entire lives, not to mention Jason’s young son. He has a duty to himself, his child and the woman he is dating to be forthright and honest and if it wasn’t working for him then there is no blame in that, just fact!
    Dating is always risky, as you said. Melissa decided to put her life on TV and is going to have to deal with those consequences. Look at all the women who were dumped before her. I don’t really like the idea of going on a TV show to find your spouse, (though I do watch the show sometimes), but when even if you are there to create entertainment you still have to be true to your heart and all those involved!

  25. That sounds like an interesting show (the bachelor) I didn’t see it unfortunately, did he dump her on tv??no! thats just awfull!
    But this awesome! : )

  26. I have been watching this seasons The Bachelor since it’s beginning. I had chosen Melissa as my second favorite and was so happy he chose her and proposed to her. It did bother me considerably that he cried and carried on after sending Molly away. So I felt that right then and there he should not have asked Melissa to marry him, but only to keep dating and see where it went.

    How do I feel about it? I know it’s just a show, but I think he should have told her before going on live television. I also believe he did the right thing by not continuing it further. However I think he and Molly could have restrained themselves from being all sucky faced with each other that final episode. Melissa barely had time to drive away.

    I made a promise to myself not to watch anymore of these shows.

  27. I agree with you, Jane. I don’t think you should stay in a relationship if you know it isn’t working.

  28. Jane, great seeing you on Sunday. As always, you looked beautiful even with Mac being active!

    I agree, no one should stay in a relationship if it isn’t working. However, I wish he had broken up in private.

    PS Happy birthday to Lee Hyatt

  29. Why is everybody so caught up in reality TV? I personally don’t watch the stuff. I understand the whole concept of it is supposed to be entertainment. However, when did showing people at their worst become entertainment. Don’t people have enough in their lives to deal with without getting involved in someone else’s personal business.

    I was brought up by a grandmother who did not believe in airing your dirty laundry in public. Has this generation turned into nothing but voyeurs.

    Have a great day.

  30. I don’t watch it but since there was so much about it online today, I chose to watch a clip.

    I think when you put yourself on one of these shows you are open to anything. Seriously. And she will probably be the next bachelorette, right?

    He did right ending it before they went to far and there was more hurt.

  31. He should have picked Jillian!

    I missed the national dumping of Melissa, but caught the clip of him asking Molly to give him a second chance.

    I think he’s got every right to follow his heart, but I think it was very unclassy to jump from Melissa to Molly in one evening…it seemed very juvenile and insincere, and now I’m wondering if Wishy-Washy Jason will dump Molly before the next Bachelorette show and show up and ask Jillian (his 3rd choice) for another chance!

    ABC should have taken it a step further (since they crossed all the lines with this season) and brought Jason’s first wife on the show to find out why their relationship didn’t work!

    Yikes…didn’t realize I even had this much to say on the subject!

    Have a great day Jane!

  32. My feeling is that if Jason was as broken up over letting Molly go as he appeared, he had no business proposing to Molly. If he felt that he was in love with two women, he should have chosen Charlie O’Connell’s option and asked to date both women in the real world, if they had agreed to it. I find it hard to believe that he was in love with Melissa and feeling she was the one he wanted, and six weeks later changed his mind. That spells fickle to me.

  33. Excellent take on that crazy finale! Really, everyone involved in these shows knows what they’re signing up for, so…be prepared for anything.

  34. I honestly haven’t watched the Bachelor since Andrew Firestone (who I love, love, loved!), and I was a big fan of Trista and Ryan. So I don’t watch anymore but I have many friends who do and many people I know were quite upset about the outcome & are going to boycott the show in the future. But, c’mon, I have to agree with you Jane (and Amber, too!)–you are going on a reality, dating show–you have to be mentally prepared and no guarantees. Just like in life!! It is DATING for pity’s sake, not a real commitment. A 6-week dating show!!

  35. I totally agree with everything you said. However, I always tape this show because so much at the beginning of each segment is retreading what transpired before.
    It was nice to read an opinion that coincides with mine.

  36. I think Jason did the right thing in breaking it off with Melissa, I only question the way he did it. On national Tv. I thought that was CRUEL. I do agree she played this game and went on the show etc, but he could have broken up with her sooner and not on Tv. Then they could have gone on the show and said “we aren’t right for each other” together, instead of Jason telling her they werent right for each other. Also I think it was disgusting that he and Molly started slobbering all over each other right then and there. Gross! Kissing is fine but not right after you broke with someone on TV. I think both of them are just creepy, I dont know what it is, but Molly just saying “oh yeah sure” and not asking some hard questions. And Jason refusing to answer any questions.

    I just think he wanted to “try out” both girls and to me, thats disgusting. I’m not a prude but the way this happened was just icky.

    He kept saying how much INTEGRITY he had. Uh, you dont dump someone on national TV and then go grabbing at another girl immediately on TV…Jason has NO CLASS.

  37. Hi Jane!

    I just had to pop in here and comment about this whole bachelor fiasco. Very good points, interesting observations you’ve commented upon.

    From the bits and pieces I’ve read about the final airing, the “break-up” was all planned and staged. It didn’t help that I read this before actually watching it because it *felt* staged to me.

    Repeatedly when I’ve caught bits of the show (I’m not a die hard viewer) this season, I kept getting this feeling that Molly was very fake. I think I even have a FB/Twitter remark to such effect. The most genuine she’s been, IMHO, was during the “after the final rose” show. Yet there’s just this *I wanna be in the spotlight* air about her that leaves me to believe she’ll be dumping him soon, once all the cameras have packed up.

    I didn’t like Jason from the get go. He is either too weepy one moment or detached at the next. I didn’t like what he said when reasoning why he was saying goodbye to Melissa, either. “I kept thinking about what could have been with Molly.” Give me a break! The grass is always going to be greener on the other side of the fence, buddy. My take is that he is a warm-weather type guy. As soon as it gets a bit chilly, as soon as he has to put some investment into the relationship and make things work out, he’s quick to run back into Momma’s arms and the comfort his brothers extend to him.

    Personally? I’m a bit worn out on the reality shows. It mucks around too much in stuff that I think should be kept off screen or at least contrived by writers. Then again, maybe that’s because I’m a writer! 🙂

  38. I don’t watch much reality TV, mostly The Amazing Race if anything. I had, however, caught a couple of early episodes of The Bachelor so am interested to hear how it turned out.

    Yes, it is hard to get dumped at the last minute, especially on national TV. But, it IS a reality show, the relationship was not long term, and I agree with you Jane that nobody should stay in a relationship that is not working.

  39. I don’t watch the show, the only reality show I watch is American Idol. As an after thought I don’t think a person should stay in a relationship that isn’t working. Its just bad!

  40. I didn’t watch it but I keep hearing about it on the radio and even on MSNBC. Initially I thought he was a total jerk for doing that to Melissa. But I read that he claims it was the contract with the show prevented him from saying something to Melissa before the show. I wish he had gone ahead and told her anyway but of course the show wants all the drama.

    I did feel bad for Melissa though. I know they know going on the show they may be booted at each rose ceremony but after being proposed to it’s even more humiliating.

    I stopped watching this show after Trista and Ryan were the only couple to actually make it.

  41. Here’s my take on it. I think DeAnna swayed Jason’s decision. She pretty much told him to not follow his heart, I think his heart was telling him Molly. I do agree with DeAnna, BUT, clearly this not the right advice for Jason. I wish we could go back and see what would’ve happened had she not paid him a visit prior to his final decision. But in the end I do think Jason did the right thing. It would’ve been crazy to have gone through that whole process and ended up with some one who did not make him completely happpy!

  42. I liked Jason in the beginning, but was always a little uncomfortable about bringing his child into this whole reality tv thing. Then when he started crying over and over, I was annoyed. Not that I don’t like a sensitive guy, I do..he just started bugging me. As for the end. I guess it is just tv, but I didn’t like the breaking up on tv. I thought it was slimy. In my opinion, both girls are too young and the chances of Molly and Jason working out are pretty slim as well. Sheesh. I sound so fussy this morning! Of course, I will continue to watch..hoping that there will be a happily ever after…

  43. I watched the entire season of the Bachelor. I agree with you that no one should continue a relationship that isn’t working. That is exactly what dating is all about. However, I was disappointed to read in US magazine before the show aired that it was all planned by the producers to increase ratings. I hope that is not the case. That would be unfair and cruel to break someone’s heart for ratings. The magazine reported that not only did producers ask Jason to play along with their ploy, but flew Molly out to see Jason on the opposite weekends Melissa was there to see him. I know you can’t believe everything you read, so I hope this wasn’t the case. That is the only thing I was upset about. If it was truly real and honest, then he did the right thing.

  44. You are right, it is dating after all. Dating can be an emotional roller coaster anyway, and now let’s put it all out there on a national television show for everyone to watch and critique. What were they thinking? I think that in the beginning when they are signing the contracts and preparing for the show everything is exciting and fun and I’m sure that it seems like the opportunity of a lifetime for some. Then when their lives are broadcast and they start getting the media attention (and emotions are involved)… many of them are going to end up getting more than they originally bargained for, and as my parents always told us as kids, somebody’s going to get hurt. We all want to see the “Happily Ever Afters” but face it we like the drama too.
    Awesome prize package, by the way.

  45. Life is too short to have to “work hard” at love…we have to work hard in every other area.
    I always celebrate sad endings, (believe me I have had mine), but had I not, I would not be living my happily ever after! Life is to short to not allow, what is meant to be, be! I love the cliche “everything happens for a reason”.

  46. Finding love is difficult, in this day and age, and is always a risky proposition. You always leave your heart open to the hurt which, more often than not, comes your way. If Jason didn’t see himself lasting the long haul, I think it was wise to get out when he did. I realize Melissa is hurting now, but it will pass. Too often love works the same way in real life as it did on the show. Jason and Melissa couldn’t possibly have built a sustainable relationship in that short a time. For myself, I just couldn’t see putting myself through the entire process to begin with when rejection is just usually right around the corner.

  47. Hi Jane,

    I think that he got caught up in the moment and proposed to the wrong person. I think he liked Melissa’s bubbly attitude and he probably had true feelings for her. But I feel like he had a much better connection to Molly.
    It’s unfortunate that he had to end things with Melissa but his heart was with someone else. It was evident on the night that he proposed to Melissa that he was devastated on letting Molly go.

    Life is too short to be unhappy. You have to go after what you believe in!

  48. I am a mom of four daughters. I would be sad if any of them were in a situation where they were one of 25 girls all trying for one man. I would be even sadder if they were in a position at the end to be one of three all testing out the physical part of the relationship on national TV. Why would any woman think that was okay? I think that if things were not working that it would have been kinder to do a mutual “it is not working” as opposed to Jason going on national TV to dump her. I believe Melissa when she said that HE NEVER TOLD HER WHAT CHANGED. I did notice that he never added much to conversations with any of the women. When things were awkward he always blamed the girl, when he really made them do most of the work. My only advice to my dating daughters is “pay attention”. I would say the same to both Molly and Melissa. He has one failed marriage. He was in love with Deanna…and Melissa and Molly all in a very short period of time. I think too many people QUIT when things aren’t perfect. Nothing is perfect. Poor Molly…I hope she never has a bad day. because by paying attention I bet I can figure out what will happen next. Take care. Raise your boys well. Our daughters are counting on it. ~m

  49. I don’t watch The Bachelor but have read some articles about the ending and I think that it would foolish for him to continue with a relationship that wasn’t working just because he made a commitment on national TV. The Bachelor isn’t the Army. You can walk away after you’ve signed up. Plus, does the world really need another bickering, angry couple.

  50. I have never watched this show. But, using past life experiences of not only myself but also of friends & some family members, this man did exactly the right thing. Why lead someone to believe that you have a forever thing if it is not? Why go through the expense of marriage & then divorce? The old saying is so true…Honesty is the best policy. The girl who was dumped on national tv, as you said, Jane, signed a contract. She knew the risks. They all did. I am just glad the man didn’t get his son too involved & attached to someone. The children suffer through breakups too, whether because they were attached, or through watching the fighting or pain of the upset parent. He did the right thing.

  51. Wow Jane,I thought Jason was a complete jerk until reading your perspective on the whole thing. Regardless of Jason’s decision, I do have to question Molly’s decision in giving him a second chance. I don’t think I would be so forgiving after being dumped on national television. But as for breaking off his engagement with Melissa…it’s better to make these decisions now then after the “I Do’s”.

  52. I’m not a big fan of any shows that deal with “love”, unless it’s the love of cooking! Relationships are hard enough, without adding media, money, networks, behind the scenes scheming, etc. The pressure to perform seems to outweigh good sense when it comes to being honest with contestants and the potential suitor. Good to hear that the little boy was not subjected to any of the goings on in the show. That would be way too hard to watch.

    I have always liked the saying, “You can say NO, until you say I DO” our pastor told us that when hubby and I were going through our pre-marital counseling. Now was the right time for Jason to say NO to Melissa.

  53. Hi Jane,

    Right On!!! I totally agree with you. I watch this show every season and always hope for a happy ending. So hopefully, it will happen this time. I believe that he did the right thing for the right reasons. It is just too bad it had to happen in front of the tv watching world.

  54. Agree, agree, agree Jane. It was sad to see Melissa get “dumped” on the show, but there are two parts to every relationship and she didn’t claim one part of demise of this one. It was HER family that refused to take part and I can’t help but think that played at least some part of things. She also said that she’s always the “dumpee”. Clearly she’s young and there must be a small something to that fact. She seems like a very genuine and sweet girl; nothing that can’t be helped with a little time and better choices. I love the show and don’t even care that no one ever stays together afterward.

    I just heard that Jillian will be the next Bachelorette. I can hardly wait! My sister and I live 45 miles apart but we watch together and share our own comments after every show. I can only think that Chris Harrison (the host who has been married for 10+ years) must be very grateful for his own wife and marriage after seeing all that these guys and gals go through. I certainly am!!

    Still got your feet up?? Take care!!

  55. It was humiliating, I agree, but later she’ll find being rejected a blessing and not near as expensive, which is what would have happened had they gotten married. I too would love to see a relationship found on the Bachelor work out. I think there’s only been two others from the Bachelor and one from the Bachelorette that have resulted in marriage with a child and one on the way, one couple is living together and another couple has been together a year after having split up for a year! I can only wish the best for Molly and Jason! It’s nice to see them both happy!

  56. Life is too short to be with someone you aren’t madly in love with. Especially when there is a child involved.
    I only watched the last show b/c of all the hype. I don’t blame the bachelor. It is better that they didn’t get married and divorced a year later. Talk about heart ache….been there, done that!

  57. Better get out before the wedding!!!!I think the whole love reality show is weird (and yes I watched who wants to marry a millionaire!!)but bottom line, going along with a relationship in order to avoid the awkwardness of breaking up is the road to disaster for sure!!!

  58. I used to be a big Bachelor fan and watch it all of the time. It seems to me that lots of it has become “staged” and you have to wonder if love can really be found this way. There has only been one success story and that was Trista (because she was female, of course!). The men on the show can’t make up their minds and I think this last season got way too much press but that is just my opinion. As other people have commented, love is hard to find and kudos to those that think going this route is good.

  59. If this had not been on tv, wonder what the time frame might of been for the relationship. I admit to not watching shows like this since my girls lived at home, but I always wondered if the relationships were inflated for tv viewing.

    Public humiliation if you ask me.

  60. Oh, I did not watch the show but had to watch last night after all the buzz online. Alot of people would have fell into the tv hype and continued the relationship. He was very smart and made the right decision. Kudos to him.

  61. Hiya Jane.. HOpe you are resting and having a relaxing time of it. I unfortunately dont get to watch tv very much and this is one show that I have not had the pleasure of watching but after reading your post I may have to change that. I really enjoy your blog because you post about everyday things in our lives.

  62. If the relationship isn’t working I say it’s much better to walk away now. She deserves someone who truly cares about her and by dumping her, Jason is actually giving her the chance to find that one person who will care for her like they should.

  63. Hi Jane!
    Not much of a reality show viewer so I have never watched The Bachelor.

    I like Biggest Loser but I can’t even watch that very often. I usually watch whatever is on TLC when I get the chance!

  64. If you go on a tv show you take your chances…that’s pretty simple. Just like anything to do with love in life,,,sometimes you get dumped.
    Thanks for the contest..hope I win!

  65. I have been so bothered by reading the posts saying ‘how could he break up with her on national tv?” Well, the same way he could propose to her on national tv! (or make-out on tv, or ask a father’s permission for marriage on tv.) It’s a show…they signed up to do it THIS way, with contracts and rules etc. Not that I think it’s easy or blame them for the challenges they’ve obviously faced. As for whether I think he’s wrong or not…NO. We all have the right to change our mind. It is up to each of us to create our own happiness. We have no idea why he ultimately chose Melissa and how it really was with her after the taping ended. I was certainly shocked and felt so badly for her to feel rejection and pain, but I also agree with you that she did not show any understanding, support or love toward him in any way. I was actually impressed with Molly for being willing to listen and care for him still. I took that as meaning she truly loves and can forgive. It does take a lot of love to forgive…It’s also not really like he immediately jumped from one woman to the next, he was dating a whole bunch of them at one time. It’s not real life, but they are real feelings. My opinion is that people want a story, drama and Jason will be in the headlines until somebody else does something shocking, unexpected, against the grain, etc. I wish them well! Gee, thanks for asking as NO ONE at work watches this show and I’ve been dying to discuss the finale Part 2!!!

  66. When the Bachelor first aired, I was insulted by the whole idea and swore I’d never watch it. I have always believed that a woman shouldn’t be “chosen” but that the couple should choose one another. The idea of making out with several women at once, and on television, was gross to me.

    Low and behold, I fell for the show and even went so far as to use a rose in an interview, asking my future employer, “will you accept this rose?” When I was 8 months pregnant with a 9 pound baby, I put on a red shirt that looked like a circus tent and went down to Komo’s studio just so I could meet Bob the bachelor.

    Maybe I’m just old fashioned. I did meet my husband 14 years ago when I was just 16. Having been spared from the majority of the dating world, my perceptions might be a little skewed. My husband and I grew a lot as a couple from the time I was 16 to the time I was 23 when we got married. Prior to our marriage, we went to counseling, worked through our issues and are now incredibly happy with two amazing kids. While I realize that not all relationships are worth this much work and that some are doomed to fail regardless of therapy, 6 weeks just isn’t enough time to really give an engagement time.

    Since I bring up the engagement, let’s talk about what goes through your mind when either proposing or being proposed to. I am sure the person being proposed to would want to be the center of the proposer’s universe or at least a major part of it. I don’t know any woman that would accept a proposal if she thought her beau was in love with another woman. If Jason was in love with two women, it wasn’t the time to propose! He should have been as sure as he could be that Melissa was the one he wanted, and that she wanted him. That means he loved ONLY her.

    I think the way he broke up with her was horrible. He said she already knew but it sure didn’t look like it. Even if Melissa had an idea of what was coming, Jason should have flown to meet her and ended things in person. It should have been up to both of them to go on the show together, if both of them wanted to, and announce they were breaking up. As far as Jason divulging his true feelings to Molly, that could have been done another time and off the air. I’m sure ABC would have agreed to do a follow up show months from now. Obviously the tabloids would have picked up on this as well.

    My first impression is usually right. This show undermines the meaning of true love and of marriage. BUT, I do love a good romance and I cry at nearly every wedding. I love happy endings and I always hope for the best. I am sure I’ll probably get sucked into the bachelor on future episodes… especially if Stephanie is the bachelorette! Oh, thank God he didn’t do this to her incredibly kind heart!!!!

    So, to say it the way Melissa would,
    “Do I think Jason is an ass? Yes. Do I think that Jason should have stayed in a relationship he wasn’t happy with? Probably not. Do I think Jason should have worked a little harder towards his commitment, a commitment he never should have made? Definitely!”

  67. I watched the first season of The Bachelor, but none of the other after that. Everything on this show just feels to staged and forced. I’m not surprised that most of the couples break up afterwards.

  68. Honestly i have never watched the bachelor. I try if at all possible not to watch reality shows, because most of them lack actual reality, its their scripted version of reality. becasuse its always too large, too outrageous and too unreal to me.
    But they both were on a reality show, kne it was for ratings and there own fifteen minutes as it were, and if they were more outrageous they got more, so go figure!
    good luck with the baby!
    take care
    jody allen

  69. I live in Colorado (home of Trista and Ryan and Jesse C.)and I was nervouse for Melissa. I thought she was a good match for Jason, but that it all seemed too good to be true. I’m sorry he had to break up with her on national television, but it’s better than a divorce. I hope Jason finds love with Molly!

  70. I agree with another comment above relating to how the show turned me off that so many women were vieing (vying?)for the attn. of one person. Yuck! How degrading! So I never watched it. I can’t stand that “pick me!, like me!” message. I think it’s unhealthy. However- I do agree that people shouldn’t stay in a relationship they don’t want to or isn’t working. It’s hard to let someone down but – how does that old song go?– something like “you gotta be cruel to be kind”… it’s better to let the other person go free asap and for both to move on asap.

  71. I have to admit I don’t watch the Bachelor. But I love reading your blog & I recently saw pictures of you on your facebook & I wanted to let you know you look beautiful!

  72. Fighting a cold here also. Trying to get rid of it with natural products.
    I don’t watch The Bachelor anymore.

    The prize is awesome and would warm the cockles of anyone’s heart.

  73. Who in their right mind would go on national television to fight over a guy and his love. Please! Sure it’s a reality show, it’s so real that they script it, for the sake of ratings and pulling in the viewers. Welcome to Hollywood. Also, I personally feel it would be degrading to be in a contest for a guys love. If I had to fight for a guy that would mean to me that he apparently doesn’t want me, so I’d kick his butt out the door and grab myself a wonderful book, a bag of smooth milk Dove Chocolates, a little veno, a candle and have myself a nice bubble bath. Most importantly I’d get on with my life. Believe me, God has a plan for everyone and its out of our hands. And with that, I find total inner peace.

  74. Hi Jane! I’ve never watched The Bachelor. However, I don’t think people should stay together if the relationship isn’t working and they’re not happy.

  75. I’ve read articles on this and saw an interview with Melissa yesterday (Molly and Jason will be on Ellen today). Melissa said they’d already broken up before the After the Final Rose but that Jason had lied about Molly. For one, he had called her to “see how she was doing”. Plus Jason said that he broke it off with her on camera because he was contractually obligated to do so. But Chris (the host of The Bachelor) was on Good Morning America yesterday and said that wasn’t true. He didn’t have to publicly humiliate Melissa on national television by telling her about Molly – yet he did. THAT’s what I have a problem with. Not to mention, Melissa said the taping of After the Final Rose was moved up and she didn’t understand why. She asked Jason point blank if she was going to be blindsided by anything and he told her no and insisted it had nothing to do with Molly.

    So, breaking up with Melissa – not a problem. How he chose to do so, totally different story.

    I’ll say this too, I never liked Molly on the show. She seemed like she was in it for the wrong reasons – more like she was in it to win it and didn’t really care about what was best for Jason. I kind of have to say that I feel like Nikki did about Natalie being sent home – if he went with her, he’s not someone I could have good feelings about.

    So, the best of luck to them but I think what Jason did – and how he did it – was wrong.

  76. I watched it sporadically but I did watch the season of the Bachelorette when Jason was on and liked him. Every Tuesday they discussed the episode of the Bachelor on the radio because Molly is from Milwaukee. I was really surprised when he shose Melissa in teh first place so I wasn’t that shocked to hear he had changed his mind. Love is a gamble and it’s sad Melissa was hurt but I think he did the right thing — for him.

    Sometimes I wonder why they still have the show (Other than to jump start careers — look at Bob and Jerry O’Connel’s brother) since there has been only one relationship that has lasted — Trista and Ryan. Again celebs now. A romantic — I always hope someone wil fall in love against the odds!

    I have been watching “For the Love of Ray J” for pure entertainment purposes. 😉 The girls are so crazy!

    Have a great weekend!

  77. I have never watched the show but have certainly been hearing about the outcome. What I will never understand is how anyone can think a 6 week staged courtship on national TV would be enough to cement a relationship. It just can’t be spontaneous and relaxed in such an atmosphere and, let’s face it, most of life is not in any way like it is portrayed in such a public forum. I just came from the store and saw the latest issue of People with all 3 on the cover and must say they are a nice looking couple. Hopefully they have more going than that!

    Hope you have a restful weekend and that the predicted snow does not arrive!!

  78. I think Jason did the right thing but unfortunately, Melissa had to deal with the embarrassment of being dumped. It would have been nice of ABC to have had Jason talk to her off screen- and then explain what happened and then show the reunion with Molly. But, as you said- they all signed contracts and it’s a big gamble game show they signed up for…

  79. Jane-
    I have to totally 100% agree with you. Even though this is a show they are still in the “dating” stages. Why should he or would pretend to feel something just because they were on a show.
    A real mature person we own up to the mistake as he did and tell the truth of his feelings.
    YES it sucked and was horrible to have this happen on LIVE tv but like you said she choose to be on the show and knew that what ever happens would be infront of millions.
    She was not very mature or acted at all what I expected which is sad!

    As much as I am a romantic as well, I would rather know the TRUTH than live a LIE!

    Great post Jane –

  80. Oh, I think Jason was so yucky and wrong. Not to break up with her, but to do it on national TV? Yuck, yuck, yuck. No one deserves that kind of humiliation, especially because he made out with Molly ten minutes later.

  81. Hi Jane,
    I loved Jason on the “Bachelorette” and was so excited to see him on the Bachelor. I was, however, disappointed not by the choice he made on the “After the Rose” Show to end the relationship with Melissa, but how he went about letting Melissa in on his change of heart. I mean, I agree with you that no one should stay in a relationship they are unhappy in, but I just think he could have went on the show and said it isn’t working out, which Melissa already knew, and had the discussion in private with her that he wanted to be with Molly. He didn’t have to go into all of the details on National television. It would have saved Melissa the embarassment, and he would have looked like a much better person than he does now. Of course, that is just my opinion.

  82. I don’t watch the show – not that I need to, given the amount of coverage it receives in the press – and this is the reason why. I think the whole situation is horrible and they never should have aired the breakup on television.

  83. Has anyone read or seen the post-interview with Melissa then Jason on the Ellen DeGeneres show?

    Melissa makes it sound like she was set up and he offers an appology. When will it ever end???

    I guess this is at least entertaining. When there is so much dispair going on in the world it helps to have something else to talk about.

  84. Jane, I have such mixed feelings about this entire situation.

    I totally agree that it is much better for everyone if the truth comes out now, rather than later.

    I worry about the little boy. I wonder how connected he was to Melissa.

    My gut tells me that Jason is an insecure man. To dump one person he says he’s had feelings for and immediately turn around and ask another woman for a chance does not sit well with me. I know it makes for great ratings to have this occur on TV, but come on.

    I guess at this point. I think Jason needs to be alone a bit longer and figure out what he really wants.

  85. Great blog!

    I’ve watched a few episodes with my mom and I have to say that if his relationship with Melissa wasn’t working, then he shouldn’t stay with her. Also, there’s big uproar about the producers made him pick her, to make the show more interesting. If that’s true, then that wasn’t too nice.

  86. I was majorly pissed off at him for doing what he did. He could have given her a heads up that it wasn’t working. He could of done a dozen things different. She is better off without him. I hope that Molly and Jason will be happy. But it makes you wonder why he got divorced in the first place. Oh well, I hope that you will have a great weekend!

  87. I don’t watch The Bachelor. It all seems very contrived to think that matters of the heart and people hoping to find a soul mate can be wrapped up into a television reality series. How real can it possibly be after editing, scene manipulations and commercial interests? I struggle to believe that a true relationship can come from sensationalism, segues to the next episode or handing out a single rose.

  88. Hi Jane,

    October of this year my husband and I will be married 25 years.
    Prior to our relationship my huband had been engaged. Three months after he ended their relationship he and I met for the first time. Went out on a date and a year later we were married. I can remember a few weeks after we were together that his old girlfriend called and wanted to get back with him. I was in the next room and let me tell you I had my neck almost broke bending it, flattening my face up against the door trying to listen to his conversation. He told her it was too late, he met someone else that makes him feel good about himself, and that he was happy. That was the end of their conversation and he hung up the phone and that was the last they ever spoke. At that young of age I’m not sure if I would have given him up without a fight if he would have agreed to take her back. But with time comes self-respect, you learn to love yourself and you know whats right and whats wrong. If now, after nearly 25 years of marriage my husband ever put me into the situation of having to fight for his loyalty, I wouldn’t do it. Oh I’m sure I’d be broken up inside, but I’d get over it enough to continue on with my life. In my prior post #75 I speak from the heart of someone who has learned to love herself and I feel I’m a wonderful human that God created inside and out. No woman or man should have to ever fight for anothers love.

  89. This might be too late for the contest 🙁 However, I thought I’d share anyway. Having been someone who married someone they’d known for just a short time that didn’t work out, I think it’s best to walk away if you know that it’s not there for you. Life is too short and too much damage can be done when you aren’t with the right person. I fully support honoring commitments, but just as Jane said, this was a TV show and a high risk one at that. It’s really unrealistic to think that you’d find “love” on a TV show. But, I am a romantic at heart as well and would hope that it would happen. Nothing is impossible. I just think that this particular relationship is too important in your life to enter into for the wrong reasons. Especially if children are already part of the equation. Just my 2 cents.

  90. Good Morning, everyone!

    I chose #2, Meg Munson, as the contest winner for the robe and bath goodies prize as Molly was Jason’s second choice. Meg, please send me your address and I’ll get the prize out in the next mail. Congrats, Meg!


  91. I hate to see heartbreak for anyone,however,Jason was a “bigger” man having had the courage to do the right thing. I agree with you Jane 100%. Life is too short, if it is not going to work RUN DON’T WALK!!!

    I don’t think I am a big fan of Jason…but the jury is still put on that one. He was definitely bereaved after Molly left. Who knows,maybe he is legit?

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