We women work. Whether we are moms, holding down jobs, or juggling many hats, we women are busy and moms are the busiest people I know. Whether we work outside the home, or are home managing it all, we put in long hours and rarely sleep enough. And I only mind the work load when it cuts in to my time with the kids.
It’s cutting in right now and I’m struggling today over how little time I really have with son Ty and Mac. Twelve year old Ty returns to Bellevue Saturday morning and so far I have worked every day he’s been here. Yesterday I promised to take the entire day off and he was thrilled, and we were out at Sea Life Park having fun when a sitter called to say she had the afternoon free and could help me, and my brain melted. Instead of negotiating, or asking for another hour, or saying no, that I promised to do fun things with my kids, I left the park returned home so I could be at my desk at 1 pm. Ty was bummed. Really sad. And when I realized what an impulsive decision I made, what a knee jerk decision it had been, I felt so bad. I hate how pulled and conflicted I feel–I need boys but I must meet responsibilities. This book is late and I do have to get it in. It’s my job to write, and meet deadlines, and be professional so I will always have a career but I need to get better at time management and focusing so I don’t waste writing time on things that aren’t essential.
I haven’t always felt this fuzzy. Things seemed to change when I was pregnant with Mac and my brain hasn’t been the same since. I need my old brain back, too, the one that could focus and be quick and clear. It’s so much harder writing when I’m not mentally sharp. Not sure if its age, or hormones, or what, but I write much slower now, and then get discouraged at the lack of progress. But feeling bad accomplishes nothing. Feeling bad interferes with the writer part of my brain as well as my self-esteem. So I’ll suck it up, put on my big girl panties, and get back to the manuscript!
And before I do start writing again, I want to kick off the second week of my summer tote bag giveaway. This week’s beach bag contest runs through Friday night, and I’ll announce the winner Saturday morning. Be sure to check on last week’s contests to see if you were a winner. How to enter the new contest?Just talk to me! Tell me something, anything, and I’ll love it.
Have a good week everyone. It’s going to be a hard core work week for me, but then, fingers crossed I’ll have the book out Friday and the weekend to relax!
99 Comments / Add Your Comment →
I’ve been feeling the pressure lately too. Lots of deadlines in a very short time frame. I’m hoping it will get better in the next few weeks!
I enjoy reading your books so much…take a break & enjoy your summer and family…hugs, Julie
I so understand being pulled in different directions. Working full time and the mother of a 13 yr old girl/young lady, it is hard to spend quality time with her. Saturdays are our shopping days that we spend together. But come next week I will be having surgery (hysterectomy) and I will be off of work for 4-6 weeks…we should have some good quality time then…lol I hope you have a great summer and take the time to enjoy your boys, it won’t be to long until they will be off onto their own lives and you won’t get to see them that much.
I hope you had a wonderful day. I spent a good part of the day watching Bella splash in her little kiddie pool. I love this age (15 months). They seem to learn something new every day. If you look at my album Summer 2011 on Facebook you will see some pics of Bella in her pool.
Enjoy the rest of your day …
Oh my gosh Jane, I can relate! I don’t write books but I cook and clean and all the other things that go with being a stay at home mom. I also feel the pressure of not spending enough time with the kids. Even when I spend a whole day cleaning (which is of course beyond necessary with 3 kids) I still feel awful that I cleaned instead of playing with them. It is tough being a mom, wife all of the above. Keep your chin up and keep doing both as you are awesome at both!
Hi Jane, My brain is everywhere right now also..My hubby is a pilot so he has been gone 4 days now and wont’ be home till tomm. night at midnight. I just wish i could get away for 10 min to do anything, My girls (ages 5,2,1) are driving me bananas. I wish you could come back to houston, that mom get together was amazing at the bookstore. Hope to meet you again one day.
Omg, I am torn between laughing and crying, because since being pregnant my brain just hasn’t worked. The twins are now 4 and I swear my brain still feels disconnected. Things thst used to be a breeze, like doing laundry, now seem like an all day affair. And forget just swinging by a store. You’ve got to make sure that kids are pottied, hydrated, have had a snack , that it’s in a certain time frame other wise you have grumpy, sleepy kids…
But then they do something adorable and your heart just melts and you remember why you went through all the crap in the first place.
And on a great note, today it’s 87 and humid in Southern Arizona today and it feels like Hawaii. 🙂
For me, the tough part about being a working mom is the time away from my kids and not having enough time to see school events. Also, the fact that I have a hubby who isn’t the most helpful around the house. I’ve definitely relaxed my standards of housecleaning, so I feel pretty good if laundry is getting done and I’ve vacuumed! Thank you for your books, Jane, so that we can have a respite from our normal lives, if just for a little bit!
Being a Mom is the hardest job ever. I think we all try our best, do the best we can, and give LOTS of hugs and kisses. I second guess myself a lot and when I think about it, would probably have done things the same way. We love our ‘little people’ and they love us and will one day understand why we did the things we did. : )
I certainly know the demands of being a mom. I’m a stay at home mom of 5. My kids range from 3-13.
Honestly Jane when i had my third child my brain turned to mush as well. My oldest is almost 19 and then the next two are 15 and 8 and i am slowly getting some of that back. I have lots of other responsibilities as well to take up space in my head so it can get to be to much sometimes and stress ( like late for a book) makes it worse. Cut yourself a break. You realised what happened at least so you’re aware. Lots of parents don’t see it at all.
Have a great week!!
I know exactly how you feel… I was always torn going to work and I spent a lot of time at horseshows (3-4 days/week) in the summer months with two of my children. It was hard rushing back and forth so I could be with the non-riders and now that my baby is 18 and the only one at home it is somewhat a relief to relax and enjoy my time at shows with her. I miss my other kids, though… they grow up too fast and I cannot believe in a year or two I won’t have anybody at home. I went from four kids at home to nobody home this summer in four years. Anyway, we’re having a gorgeous summer up here in Quebec, hope everybody is profiting from a lovely summer wherever you are as well.
I can relate, Jane, even if it’s not to meet the same kind of deadlines. I’m juggling two kids, the dog, a work-a-holic husband, all the volunteer stuff I should say no to, and why oh why does no one else ever think to put something away or vacuum a rug?
I still blame my inability to focus on chemo and the doctors seem to finally be listening and willing to do some testing to make sure that’s “all” it is/was. When I’m on a roll, I can be so productive. The rest of the time, I can’t remember that I just went to pick up produce at the local farmer stand and need to get it out of the trunk of my car to put away. I used to be the queen of multi-tasking. When I was working full time, I was BRILLIANT at it. Now, I’m still juggling, but if I didn’t have a smart phone with a calendar and lists and email, I wouldn’t remember a thing.
One day the kids will remember your work ethic and appreciate that they learned it. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you that you can finish by Friday and spend the whole weekend just playing and enjoying your boys.
Even though my kids are all grown up now, being a mom never ends. They are all out of the house now, and I look back fondly at the the good times, the crazy times, and yes, even the teenage years. It’s nice to see them living their own lives, but sometimes I do miss the loud house I used to have.
I love love ur books… thanks for being a great writer while being a mom. I dont think I could manage deadlines writing chapters having them make sense while taking care of a home n kids much props to u
I could have used a beach bag last week – went to my sister’s in Gulf Shores, Al. Did nothing, but read and eat and sit at the beach. Been really stressed out from work and the beach was exactly what I needed. A little motherly advise (since I am older than you – lol)We all have the same 24 hours in a day and what we choose to do with them – try making chunks of time for Jane and some for the boys – like making a date and keeping it. Hang in there kiddo.
Headed back to work in a couple of weeks after 7+ years at home, and grateful to have found a job. But I’m also scared of the moments like you just described. Love that you share such honest posts!!!
I know where you are coming from. I worked full time when my son was growing up and I never seem to have the time I needed to spend with him. I also understand about the brain problem, I hope you do get it back but as we age our brains age to and they are just not quite the same. I think we just have so much we have to keep up with some of it just gets lost.
I know it must be hard on you and the boys right now. But, they know you love them and when they grow up, they will realize you did all this to make a good life for them and they will appreciate all you did even more. We have finally decided after all these years, we need a vacation. We don’t have much money, but want a beach vacation (could use a bag, hint hint). We’ll be driving down to Galveston (about 4.5 hours from here) in October to celebrate our two years anniversary. Since we never got a honeymoon when we got married, this will be that too.
So much has been going on lately! Lots of demands on me, lots of changes in my life recently. I would love to win! It would make life a little brighter.
You’re doing a great job. It all works out. I worked full time and raised two girls as a single parent and have have two beautiful adult girls now. Just take a breath once in awhile.
Re the fuzzy brain, have your thyroid checked. If it’s low or high, you will be amazed once you start meds to adjust it. The fuzzy brain and inability to concentrate will vanish and ur energy will come back too! In my case, it made motherhood and my job much easier to juggle because I had energy for both. Just a thought. I love ur books. Good luck w ur current one! Can’t wait for it.
You are a devoted mother, a talented writer and a wonderful woman who gives of herself. Give yourself a break whenever you need one. Your books are memorable and special. Have a good week.
I have often said that no one ever warned me that being a mother would be so hard.
Hang in there girl, you are a wonderful mom and things will work out.
Ah, the quest for BALANCE. I struggle with it incessantly, it seems. Sadly, I don’t even have a job – an additional one, that is … beside raising my 3 children. Sadly -(not quite sure about my word choice here) … maybe, “overwhelmingly”? – I am currently looking at trying to pick up some consulting projects again, so I can work, while still having the flexibility to raise my kiddos. I am freaked out by the idea of trying to toss – and keep – yet another ball up in the air! It isn’t that I don’t think it can be done. It’s done by lots of people! It’s just that I constantly find myself agonizing about “at whose expense it will be done?” My kids – my family – are my life, & of paramount importance to me. But we sure could use the extra income, and my brain could use the stimulation I once enjoyed so much! I feel your pain, Jane – I. Feel. Your. Pain. And, selfishly, I have to say, it’s comforting to know others – even successful authors like you – struggle with this. Now, if only I could offer some great insight, a nugget of wisdom that might help. All I have is this: every day, I do the best I can manage at what it is I do. Most days, I fall far short of my expectations – and some times, I see I’ve fallen short in the eyes of the people I love most. On those days especially, I lie down at night & pray to be better – more patient, more generous of myself & my time, a better manager of my time, a better wife, mother & person – the next day. And then I take a few moments to remember, I am human, and being so means I will fail & have shortcomings. And, often I won’t get to choose at what things I will fail or with whom I’ll fall short. I can only ask forgiveness, work harder, and remember to forgive myself. Hang in there, and thanks so much for sharing! xo
Hi Jane….don’t beat yourself up so much. Don’t you know we Moms are expected to be super-human? : ) I’ve been a single mom since my kids were 5&8, and now they are 21&24 & I still have the guilt thing going on. Like when I have to work when the oldest comes home for the weekend, or when the youngest has something he would really like us to do together. It’s a vicious cycle. So just go with it the best you can & tell the boys you love them tons. They know it, and they understand. It bites disappointing them. But unfortunately life doesn’t seem to slow down for us as much as we’d like. I can tell you that somehow single-handedly I did raise healthy, well-adjusted kids that know I love them with everything in me. And yours do too. Now give yourself a pat on the back for how great they are because they have you as a mom! : )
WOW! I know exactly how you feel! For me, I actually had a problem though. I didn’t find out about it until a few months ago. My youngest was born 3 years ago. The pregnancy had it’s issues, but after the birth of my daughter I never felt the same. I didn’t quite feel like me. I was very fuzzy, easily agitated and without a memory or attention span. I figured, Tired, didn’t get any sleep, normal it will go away. It didn’t. I thought hormones… but then found out I needed to have my uterus removed so figured that would take care of it… it didn’t. It just kept getting worse and suddenly I was tired all the time as well. I went to the doctor a few months ago and after an in depth discussion of birth – 3 years and everything that happened between she diagnosed me with post partum depression that had spawned into a form of anxiety. I knew for awhile something was different because I wasn’t the same person. I wasn’t sad, but I wasn’t the same person. Luckily a the smallest dose of meds has worked wonderfully! It is amazing how I have returned to normal. I’m no longer tired all the time, no longer scatter brained. I manage my time much better! I am calm, cool, collective and don’t have nearly the amount of mommy guilt! I know its not the same for everyone, but I do know what those feelings are like. I hope you can figure out how to get your groove back ( =
I completely understand your lack of time. I’m the same way & seem to never have enough time for everything I want/need to do. But, somehow us moms always manage to get it done. I hope you have a great week.
Hi! We wear many hats, and I to have been beating myself up for I don’t have a job and looking for one has gotten be in a bummer mood and i take things out on my daughter,which isn’t fair, and i wanted to do so many things with her since she’s in her last year of high school. I’m so upset for I could’t afford her senior pictures and they were so beautiful-her dad wasn’t interested and I gave-up the fight! Sorry that your son was bummed but your job is writing and has deadlines, he probaly was upset but got over it and knowing you, you’ll make up for it-thats what mom’s do! I took my daughter walking for I needed to get out and we talked and I told her my feelings,I feel like a failure and she gave me a hug and gave me some postive words,made me cry!So your son’s love you know matter what! Love the picture of you and Mac!Love to see more pictures of all three son’s.Keep you chin up and think postive for being negative just brings you down and thats not good!Your doing a great job as a mom!
I’ve been 3 “types of moms”. I’ve been a stay at home mom. I part time working mom and now a full time working mom. Luckily I LOVE my job teaching Deaf kids 6-8th grade but there are times I feel I give all my patience to my students and have none left for my daughter when I get home. It’s hard… it’s all hard! But I make it work!
I am a stay at home mom and spend my days getting the house in order in them mornings before taking the kids to the pool for the afternoon until it’s time to head home, shower, and cook dinner. And most people say…aww you poor woman having to spend the afternoon at the pool but honestly, even that is exhausting! I would like to write and hopefully one day will know the stress you go through with deadlines and children. I feel your pain. But I also look forward to your next book! You are a wonderful mom and your kids know that…that’s why they miss you!
Oh, Jane, I hear ya! I am sitting at my son’s baseball practice as I type. On the way here, I said to him, ” What would we do if I worked more than part-time? How would I get you and Haleigh to all your practices, etc?”. His response, “I don’t know, but thank you for only working part-time”. Made all the running here and there worth it!
Here’s to being a Mom, even as crazy as it is!
So very true. We work so hard at juggling it sometimes we feel like we accomplish very little. I am working really hard on defining the lines of family time, and work time. Especially with finishing school. Then feel double bad when my time opens up and my daughter has plans with a friend. I want to be selfish and say no. I let her go have her fun and curl up with a book. 🙂
We are all cheering you on, it is a hard line to balance in this crazy quick paced world.
Moms really do have a tough job having to juggle everything in life. I’m a step-mom, and that comes with its own, different type of challenges.
I love your books and I love your blog. You are so open with your feelings and struggles, many of which I can relate to on some level. I think many moms harbor a lot of guilt, even about things we cannot control. Men don’t seem to be hard-wired with this special feature…
For non writers, writing is more than full time, as I suspect many other of your readers other career positions are.
As an unpublished writer, I wonder about the stress of a contract writer & pray for help.
Hang in there.
Hi Jane, I wish I could give you some sage words of advise, but I can’t/ Sorry about that. I’ve never been in your position, trying to balance motherhood with work, so I’ll leave that up to the experts that visit here.
As a friend, all I can say is things will fall into place. I know you are stressed about meeting the deadline, but I believe you will get it down. You are good at what you do. If you can, spend some time with Ty to soothe the hurt he feels, as I’m sure you already thought of doing. Maybe try to spend some time with just him, so he can have you for just one day…all your energy will be on him, and maybe, just maybe he’ll feel better.
I hope that helped a little. You can do it…all of it!!! You’ve been doing it, this is just a minor setback that you can overcome. I believe in you!!!
Peace and love always,
Mac is getting so big! I miss you guys! Hope you’re having a great summer!
I don’t have anything to say…except “hi!”. I’m tired. Mac’s getting big:). Quit beating yourself up, you know better than that:).
I feel your pain. You’re not alone. Your brain goes to mush after you have the 3rd child. After my 3rd I couldn’t get anything accomplished. Now that I’m helping my daughter raise her daughter (my granddaughter, which actually feels like my 4th child), its even worse. Not enough hours in the day.
All we can do is try our best &keep plugging along.
Juggling everything is a challenge. Sometimes I think having to work helps me keep on top of things because I know my time at home and with the kids is limited. When I am at home with no deadlines or time constraints I tend to put things off thinking there is always later, tomorrow etc. You will get it done! I hope you get to spend time with Ty before he heads back. As for me, I go back to work in the morning after 10 days of time off 🙁 I saw your Facebook post this morning and when I have trouble focusing, I log off of Facebook and the Internet and put my iPod on shuffle or turn on Pandora radio. A little Dave Mathews or U2 helps me get going and blocks out the distractions around me. Good luck!
hi jane; just do the best you can with what you have. there are never enough hours in any day, but i am sure your kids know that you love them and that is the best thing you can give them. tomorrow is my “little” guy’s 16th birthday! it is bittersweet, cause he is getting closer to becoming a man but he is still my “little” boy in my heart. enjoy whatever time you can squeeze out of the day, and just keep on letting your kids know you are there/and that you love them. have a happy day…
I have never had to balance motherhood and work, but I can relate. I often feel like I am trying to balance work and life, and it is not easy….Last saturday was a perfect example, I had literally about 10 different things/obligations, etc all happening on one day! I ususally never say know, but I had to and I had to decide what was most important. Maybe you can plan something special with just you and your son as soon as you finish the book and let him know that you will keep this promise and that maybe someday he will understand how hard it is to balance work and family, and until then, just let him know how much you love him and treasure your time with him. I know that it will all come together for you, you are a great author and a generous person……all of us can tell just how much you love your family and adore your sons.
It will all work out.
I can understand how your feeling. Our kids grow so fast, and you want to savor each moment, but it is difficult with other things in life we have to do. It is a great thing that you did spend some time with your son instead of none!
It’s amazing that with all you have going on, all the travel ect.. you just keep putting out these fantastic books that all of us women can relate to, or dream of doing. Keep it up!!
My challange I am starting is a “Bikini Body Workout” 4 week program at my gym. The challange is not just getting to the gym, but daily pain I have, and being 51 and alittle out of shape. But day 1 today, not feeling well and I DID IT!!! 45 minutes of nonstop, tough muscle shaking workout!! I am so proud of myself I can scream! I’m making it a priority for myself, to take time out for “me” for my workouts 🙂
have a great week, enjoy the summer and your kids 🙂
Being a mom is hands down the hardest job out there, but the most rewarding one. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You can make it up to him after you meet your deadline.
I find it hard to balance just working part-time especially during the summer. I see the kids doing fun stuff with their sitter and wish it were me with them instead.
Don’t know what to say about the fuzzy brain thing as I have it myself. I keep thinking it’s just age and having my mother and husband dealing with cancer at the same time and the various doctor’s visits, disability paperwork, Medicare paperwork, etc. I think if I was able to get more sleep each night that would be a big help. But it’s summer and there are so many good books to read….. 🙂
Have a great day Jane!
Hi Jane – I understand exactly how you feel. The guilt is there whether I have to go to work or clean the house and not play with my girls. Of course, ignoring work isn’t the same as just leaving the dishes in the sink – there’s someone breathing down your neck! As for the brain not working as it used to, taking care of a little one is a LOT of work plus you now have two kids so give yourself time. It will come back.
I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but, are you taking your (post) natal vitamins? Are you squezzing in any weight lifting time, or any exercise time? I know, you know, you got to give to yourself in order to give to others.
amen! it is hard being a mom, wife, daughter, friend and more, but we seem to pull through. good luck!
Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate. My kids are grown now, and I’m enjoying my grandkids when possible. But I’ve learned that beating myself over past mistakes doesn’t solve any problems. I try to focus on what lessons I can learn from my past mistakes, which includes forgiving myself and not listienng to the self-condemning thoughts. I also believe that the quality of the time spent with my kids is much more important than the quantity of time! Write on!!!
I am not feeling well these days, so I am headed to the doctor tomorrow. I am anxious to start feeling better because I am going on a European vacation in 3 weeks.
I’m a working mom too. There is a lot of juggling involved. And if I don’t get enough sleep, I’m a walking zombie all day. It’s hard to find the motivation to write, so I applaud you for doing so!
Not much going on here. Just getting excited for my birthday next week and my parents’ visit this coming weekend. Reading a lot too! All good books, so that makes it easier to multitask with them. 🙂
get that “good” brain back now! trust me it only gets worse with age!! I’m trying to keep my sharp by reading! lol
I feel your pain! I have a full time job away from home and have to try to balance that with my full time job as wife and mom to a six year old boy! My husband works weekends so I am home alone with my son every weekend after working all week at my job. While about half my weekend is spent on chores around the house the rest of the time I just want to relax, watch some good TIVO’d TV and read my books. My poor energetic son is bouncing around me, demanding quality time and I have to really try hard not to snap. Then I feel guilty because I should be giving him more time…but I am exhausted! I am very organized and home and at work, but there is only so much time in the day to get it all done and hope for five minutes to breathe. I totally get those “Calgon, take me away!” commercials now :)!
I agree about looking forward and not berating yourself. You have great kids and write wonderful books so you’re doing it right even if it does not always feel that way!
I´m a new mom and already I´m trying to joggle all the different responsibilities that comes with it.
I´m just learning what lack of time and sleep does to you but the reward of being a mom makes it worth wile.
I hope you have a great weekend with your Family when you are all done with writing this book.
Aww Jane, I’m sorry things are tough right now but I know you’ll be able to get on top of it once more and be the amazing mom and writer that you are. We can’t always be everything to everyone and unfortunately someone will have to get the short end of things sometimes but we can make it up to them when time isn’t so crunched.
I’ll be leaving here in about an hour to drive north to St. Louis to pick up my daughter whom I haven’t seen in almost a month! I’m so excited, as I’ve missed her so much. We went camping last weekend and spent Saturday exploring the park and looking for wildlife. Sunday we went to the Off Road Vehicle Park and took my Jeep mudding- super fun weekend. The weather is HOT here, head advisories all over the place. One minute we’re flooding and the next we’re baking…can’t seem to catch a break here this year where the weather is concerned :/
Take care of yourself, my friend 🙂
Good luck with finishing your book 🙂
Love the pic of you and Mac!
I hear you big time it is really hard to balance everything but eventually the kids will grow up and be busy with girlfriends/boyfriends and have less time for you so I have to keep telling myself this so I remember!
Nothing in life is easy that is for sure!
Have a good week.
I heard Tina Fey talking about feeling guilt as a working mom.
Hang on in there!! I hope things get better for you really soon!!
I understand what you mean about your brain not responding like it used to – it has to do with everything you mentioned, plus our brains are just fuller with the added stuff, I believe.
I so enjoy your blogs. 🙂
I am currently down in Cannon Beach with six of my girlfriends whom I’ve know since high school, some longer, so at least 30+ years now. This is our 11th annual trip. We rent out a house and just spend good quality time together laughing, talking, sometimes there are tears, lots of food, good cocktails, some shopping, etc. These girlfriends are like family and have been a much needed support system this past year for me as I’ve gone through some difficult times and changes in my life. They provide support, and most important, unconditional love. Last night one of them sent us all upstairs so she could set up a surprise for us. When we came down there were tubs of hot water for our feet, foot lotions, scrubs, foot files, etc. Plus chocolate martinis, chocolate covered strawberries and chocolate pretzels. It was such a fun surprise! I look forward to this long weekend, which got longer this year by a day :-), for most of the year!
It must be age Jane ever since I passed the age 45 I don’t move as fast as I think I should. I can remember the kids, mom, dads and husbands calendar but mine keeps getting forgotten and pushed to the back. My mind seems to be mush.
I just spent the entire day detailing a truck my dad wants to sell(he is 73 yrs old) and I am wiped out. I keep asking my husband when will the load lighten a bit. It just seems it never will.
It is sad that we have to to choose sometimes between making a dollar and spending time with the kids but at least we do get to spend some time with the ones we love there are so many folks out there that had to travel to work or are in the military. So like you I will just pull up the BIG girl Panties and get busy finish my work so I can move on to some more enjoyable endeavors. 🙂
I do understand trying to juggle it all is sometimes overwhelming! I am a mother of 3 kiddos, 10, 7 & 2! I work full-time and I’m finishing up my nursing degree. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don’t spend enough time with the kids but I know that when I can I make it count! I am lucky though to have a great husband and supportive parents to help me out.
Hang in there and good luck!
Have a great weekend!
Hi Jane! I gave a close friend my copy of She’s Gone Country (which I read in two days – love!!) and she is really enjoying it too! Can’t wait for the next one. 🙂
As a Mom, I have also had those moments where I know I’ve disappointed my kids by choices I have made to work or get stuff done around the house instead of the fun stuff. It’s life and it hurts, but it’s also okay. They know you love them and that’s most important.
Good luck with the book. Hope you get it finish early so can enjoy a nice relaxing weekend!
Take heart girl! You are not in the minority. Every working Mom whether in or out of the home has to juggle personal life with professional life. Being a Mom is 24/7. Your kids love you and know what you do for a living. It is kinda hard for them sometimes when Mom works at home. Ultimately they will understand and they are proud of you and what you do. If it makes you feel any better I am not the only one who loves your books and looks forward to a new one. Reading is a guilty pleasure of mine. One I love to indulge in when I get some me time. Hug and kiss your boys and tell them that you love them. Even though they know it they always want to hear it. Take Care.
My mom worked and at that time not that many moms did, but it was the right thing for her and as we got older we appreciated all the things she did, like getting up early, at 5am, to make us a hot breakfast and pack our lunches before she got dressed and got us all off to school.
Speaking of working, I just got back from vacation and it was a wonderful break from the go to work, go home, get ready for work, go to sleep routine. Loved eating out and hiking every day and not being stuck in a chair in front of a computer!!
Hey Jane … glad to here your feeling better… but now you may need time to just breathe.
I know it’s hard to take time for yourself… it always helps me to re-focus, think about priorities, the important ones. The quality time with the kids, working, doing it all, sometimes something needs to change.( for the better)
The last four or five years have been crazy for me (when has it not been crazy), I am only 45… some times it’s hard to find that balance for me and focus. Husband, children, home, work… just a minute I need to come up for air.
As Moms, we need to remember that the kids know that we love them, but with those many hats for some reason we wear the guilty one too far too often… always feeling guilty because there is never enough time, Questioning our quality time was it enough? When it really was enough time.
Just recently my son and I started a drawing class together, it’s been fun to see his artistic abilities.
Something I have always done, I enjoyed visiting the kids in the treehouse. That’s always special time for my kids and me.
Wishing you the BEST to find that balance, you’ve always had it, sometime it needs to be re- focused. Enjoy your summer and breathe.
I wanted to share with you, that I am reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett, half way though it’s really good.
I can’t wait for your new book! 🙂
Thanks for sharing!
First, I’d like to send you a big cyber hug. As you said, being a woman and a mom to boot is hard work. But you always amaze me with the love and patience that you give to your boys. I hope they realize how lucky they are to have you as a mom.
I know that you will find a way to strike that balance between work and family life. You usually do. Just make sure that you take some time for you so you don’t get burned out. Sending good vibes your way so you can finish the book early and enjoy the rest of your time with your boys.
Wasn’t it Gloria Gaynor who sang, “I will survive”? And you and all your boys will too. Really. It just doesn’t seem like that when you’re overwhelmed, but this too will pass. Remember your recent holidays and trips? Your family will remember those things too.
I find when I’m overwhelmed (or even in the dentist’s chair waiting for the work to be over), I recall my wedding day, 30 years ago this week. Since yours was just this year, it should be even easier for YOU to recall with fond memories. Perhaps when you need to de-stress, you can bring that beautiful memory to mind so that it will put you in a “good place” in order to keep on truckin’ in life, so to speak.
Hope this helps.
All my best,
It was funny, I was sitting at my son’s baseball game in the pouring rain, reading your blog between innings. I had just left work early to catch the game before running to the post office to mail a package to a friend out of town on business. Phew! I feel like all I do is juggle, juggle, juggle but never seem to have it quite under control. Some days I just can’t handle it. Other days, I am right on top of it.
Being a working mom is the hardest job I have ever had. I never feel like I give my all to anyone. I always feel like I am letting someone down, just like you. I loved reading your post. It was exactly how I have felt so many times. “Why don’t I take the day off and enjoy xyz with my kids?” “No, work calls, I gotta….” It finally took a wake up call last week when my son was locked in to a rec center near our house by the SWAT team. We live in a nice neighborhood and having my son call to tell me a gunman was running around in our neighborhood and that he was locked in, I freaked. (All worked out, they caught the guy but my son was locked in for three hours)I took the next day off and we spent it doing some retail therapy. Work didn’t matter, just quality time with my son. It helped us both!
Keep smiling and writing. You give us working moms a real boost and a shot of courage. I appreciate it!
Hi Jane, I so feel for you and your frustrations. Being a working mom of 3 children is very difficult. I know because I do this. You do feel pulled in twenty different directions. I think as women we always feel that way. Sometimes I think the fact we can multitask works against us so folks think we can keep doing more and more. As they say, this too shall pass. Enjoy your boys and enjoy beautiful Hawaii!
Yep, that’s me-fuzzy and out of focus, not as sharp as I used to be…I thought lots of reading was supposed to help! I’ve found exercise helps but sooo hard to fit in. Have a big outside construction project going on right now and things are a mess! You’re not alone, Jane, it will all work out…
Being a single working mom can be a challenge. The one thing I make myself remember though, is I only have one chance of raising my children. Other things can wait. It is not easy, but it always seems to work its self out.
As always, thanks for sharing! Your honesty is refreshing and it helps to know that you are not “Mrs. Perfect”…although I think you are pretty darn close!
It is always hard to find a balance but I think when they know how much you love them, in the end they understand. Right now we are trying to stay cool with the hot temps. Good luck with your book.
I am woman, hear me roar! I also have a Super Mom cape that gives me the ability to handle it ALL! Okay, not really. Sometimes I wish I had a Super Mom cape.
We do what we do because that’s the way God made us! We have the capability to multi-task in every sense of the word. Time management is a skill that must be practiced. None of us are perfect managers of time. Some days are better than others!
I am planning trips to Anaheim and Pismo Beach before school starts on August 10th. Lots to do! Hang in there and give little Ty an extra hug and take him somewhere special.
Great pic of you and Mac.
Hang in there. The book will come together.
It’s been a stressful summer here what with the tornado aftermath and cleanup. Things are finally settling down a bit and I’m looking forward to fall. It’s my favorite season.
I feel the same way too. with 8 months old baby, I just can’t do what ever that i could do when there’re only me and hubby. one toddler and one baby now. the variety of my cooking is between one and none . lol !
Hey there SUPERWOMAN! Do cut yourself some slack. Mom, writer, blogger, wife, oh my.
Meanwhile, I’m beating up on myself for not making progress, so I really appreciate your sincere posts. I’ll try to take my own advice.
I feel your pain on both levels. My brain has went somewhere far, far away and I am not sure it’ll ever find it’s way home. Lol! I like to blame it on hormones…but who knows! I’m only 32. What’s it going to be like when I’m 60?! Yikes!!
As far as work and family…I think we all agree with you – it is rough! I have been working more hours this past year and it makes me feel sad and torn because I am missing out on more things. We all do what we have to, tho…and I’m sure our kids will understand…if not now, they will as they get older. You are a great mom, Jane!! I’m sure when you are done with your book, you will make it up to Ty!
I swear, I don’t know how you moms do it. I made a decision a long time ago that I didn’t want to have children b/c I was simply too stinkin’ self centered. I watched my mom work all day and look after me and my sister and father and it was a Herculean task, and she did a great job at it. I work a day job that sometimes requires long hours, I write, I have a disabled parent who lives with me, a run a household, I’m peripherally involved in looking after my remaining g-rents, and I cannot not fathom having children and a husband/partner on top of that.
Y’all wow and amaze me. Truly.
being a working Mom definitely requires organization; I worked part time and one is always thinking about meals, homework etc.
Had neighbours over for a BBQ last night and it was great; soaking up the cool air after a 30 degree day and talking non-stop.
Bless your heart Jane…you do get alot done. Don’t be so hard on yourself though with the guilt trips as it always works out. Those three wonderful boys love you and while they are disappointed at times, they really do understand. This too shall pass…Ruth
Jane, try not to be so hard on yourself! You are a wonderful mom, and the boys know it and so does everyone else! Your only human, and can only do so much. It never really seems like there is enough time in one day, does it? I always feel that way. I just try to realize, there is only so much you can do. My kids are happy and healthy. Even though I have to work and would like to spend more time with them, I am doing my best to make sure they live a good life. All of us mommies work very hard – whether we stay at home with the kids, or have full time jobs. Being a mommy is the hardest job in the world, but it is also the MOST REWARDING!! Keep your head up Jane, you are an amazing mom and writer – you have a lot to be proud of!!! 🙂
My pressures have come from job hunting. I also like to write. I do write book reviews and would love to review one for you.
Jane, all of us moms feel this way at some time or another. So try not to beat yourself up. No one is perfect. You work so hard and you still make time for your family. I bet those boys know what an amazing mom they have. Hope the book is coming along well, so you can relax and have some time back to yourself and family. Take care!
So many things change as we age – and, not all changes are for the good. Try to enjoy your life with your boys & I hope you can once again find the balance you once had.
Aw Jane, sorry to hear things are moving along slowly these days for you. I hope that you got the writing done that you wanted to so that you can rest up and relax this weekend. 🙂
I am with you though on the fuzzy head thing. Lately, and I’ll say it has been for a long while now, that I have been less than stellar on productivity – at home, at work, doing anything with friends. Just blah, no energy and then I gained 15 pounds (ugh…dress whites should not be tighty-whities).
Thankfully, and not that it is great that it happened again, my thyroid ended up going wacko and into hypo-mode again. So I am hoping the medicine kicks in soon, because the next few weeks are going to be grueling and I need all of the energy I can muster up!! Maybe I need to hit up the Vitamin D this weekend too, ha-ha. 😉
Hope you and the family are well my friend!! ~ <3 J
Good morning to all! Sorry I didn’t get the winner posted yesterday for the Beach Tote giveaway…got so busy writing trying to finish book that I forgot it was Saturday. Am wrapping up book today to email my editor tonight in London but want to be sure I get winner announced.
The winner of the beach tote, books and goodies is:
Teresa, please send me your address in a private email!
Also, I have 5 bonus winners who are all going to get a great summer prize!! I hope the bonus winners will love their prizes, too! I’ll need the 5 of you below to send me a private email with your info ASAP as well!
The Five Bonus Winners:
#30 Linsey Taylor
#78 Jessica Lusk
Congrats to all 6 winners and enjoy your Sunday everyone!
Sent you an email with my address. What a nice surprise! Thanks for sharing.
Congrats to all the winners! Jane hope you found Chapter 15! Your the best!
Yay!! Congratulations winners! And Congratulations Jane on finishing your book! So glad for you 🙂
Congratulations to all the winners!
Jane, hope that the writing is going well!
Thank you Jane and congratulations to all the other winners.
I emailed you my mailing information.
Here’s hoping that book is finished.
I know what you mean. I feel so guilty when I choose something over my family. Most of the times my kids understand but having a teenager means that at times she knows how to pull at me..to do the guilt trip. Not often but occasionally. I love reading your struggles..I think you do a fine example of showing us all how it is for you and for so many women and moms out there.
hi jane; i emailed my information to you yesterday; didn’t somehow realize my #/name was picked! thanks for the reminder on your newest blog. have a great day!