Impostor Syndrome?

Right now I don’t feel like a real writer.   Maybe its because I haven’t been writing for a number of weeks and I have a big deadline bearing down on me.  It will be good to get back to my desk in January.  I’ll probably have a lot fewer pep talks with myself when I do.   I think it’s strange that not writing for a few weeks makes me feel like a pretend writer.   I didn’t feel like  a faker when I was a teacher.  I didn’t feel like a faker when I was in PR and sales and marketing.  So why do I feel like a faker when it comes to being a writer?

Yesterday after seeing the doctor I stopped by Barnes & Noble at the Kahala Mall and bought a stack of books.  A big stack.  Three Georgette Heyer’s, three Larissa Ione, an older Mary Balogh, an older Kresley Cole, and Nora Robert’s newest.  I am so delighted by my stack of books.  I like looking at them.  I like knowing they are there, waiting to be read.  I like the possibilities that exist within their covers.

Barnes & Noble must think I’m a real writer because at the Kahala store, they had one of each of my women’s fiction titles in the fiction & lit section.   I even took a picture of the shelves with my books (see below) to remind myself that this is real…and that in 2012 I will have three new books out, two new Harlequin Presents in North America and the September publication of The Good Woman from Berkley.

Do you ever feel like an impostor?  What do you think its from?  I wish I knew.  One of my friends said it was a fear of failing, or a fear of disappointing.  That makes sense, because I do worry now about letting my readers down.  I hate the idea of disappointing them, or you.  Maybe it’s inevitable that we worry about what others think when we care about those people.

Speaking of caring, my heart is very happy that my friend Megan Crane will soon be here for a week with her husband Jeff.  They arrive Christmas Eve, and then my two big boys arrive on the 27th for New Years.  I love it when the house is full of friends and family, especially over the holidays.

Hoping the holidays are treating you well.   Talk to me and fill me in if you have time.  I’ve got three prize boxes for three of you.  As always I will draw the winner’s names from the comments below.  Contest runs through Christmas Eve and sometime on Christmas Day I’ll pop in to announce the winners.

Until then, stay warm and dry and know that I am so very lucky to have friends in all of you!

79 Comments

  1. Jane you are a wonderful writer and person. I would have to agree with your friend it is the fear of failing. I recieved your holiday card and bookmark today. Thank you so very much. Hope you are enjoying your holiday. I certainly am. I have 4 weeks off from college! Time to spend quality time with the kids before they head back to school and time for some relaxation and reading!! I have read about 4 books in the last week. trying to catch up. Well enjoy your holiday and don’t let negative thoughts conquer you. 🙂

  2. You brought tears to my eyes again. We are so very lucky to have YOU in our lives, Jane! I really mean it!
    Thank you for allowing us a wee peek into your life, keeping us informed, and generally “being there” for us. It means a lot!
    Have a great holiday with friends and family. After all, some people moan, “I wish I spent more time with (so-and-so)” and you are blessed to be able to share your life with them and they with you.
    God bless.

  3. I’ve only ever found your books in the fiction and literature section at my local Barnes and Nobles too. So I think your sales rep needs to update their opinion on some of your novels.

    As for feeling like an imposter, sometimes I feel like that when I can’t find the right method/strategy to really help the students I work with master whatever concept we’re working on. I have to remind myself that sometimes we’re going to have off days and we might have to go back and review the concepts they’ve learned before and that’s okay because it’s not a race it’s just a matter of making sure they reach the end goal of being able to master whatever concept it is we’ve been working on.

    It sounds like you’ll have a great time in Hawaii! Enjoy your holidays!

  4. Allie + motherhood = imposter…almost everyday:)…but getting used to the charade.

    Enjoy your break – that is the luxury of working for yourself. And remeber how hard you worked, for this time off! Plus…you deserve it & most of us are on break with you!

  5. There’s not much going on here. It may end up being a quiet holiday because half the family is sick. We can’t be around my granddaughter if we are sick so I might not get to see her until after Christmas. It’s very important to keep her well and out of the hospital I’ve had my shopping done for a few weeks so now it’s just time to relax. I hope you have a joyous and safe holiday. Enjoy your friends and family.

  6. Well I’m working one more day then looking forward to a long weekend for the holiday!
    I hope you have a Very Merry Christmas! And of course a Happy New Year!

  7. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like an imposter. I’m a teacher for the Deaf. I love working with Deaf kids! It sounds like you are going to have a fun holiday season! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

  8. I get the impostor feeling every now and again… it pops up in weird ways. And thinking about it, I do agree that it may be tied to fear of failing or a sense of inadequacy. We are very hard on ourselves.

    I am back at work after a 3 month strike… so glad to have my regular paycheque and be back in my office. But I feel like I don’t belong… and I hope the feeling recedes after the holidays.

    I have all four of my kids home for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and then they are around here and there throughout the holidays. I have to drive my middle daughter back to Prince Edward Island on December 28 (a 14 hour drive from Montreal) and I am taking advantage of the fact that my best friend lives in Halifax and I am spending New Year’s with her and her family. Happy Holidays everyone and much health and happiness in the New Year!

  9. We are lucky to get to read your books and to get to know you. Thank you for the wonderful holiday box. I waited for my daughter to come by the house before I opened it up (she introduced me to your books, and we both read all of them). I’ve already read the book which I enjoyed, and I’ve been listening to the CD. Thank you again. Merry Christmas to you and your family. And enjoy reading all the new books you purchased.

  10. Jane, you are a wonderful writer, and you are so good to your fans! I love how accessible and “real” you are!

    Wishing you a lovely Christmas season with friends and family. 🙂

    Make time to read some of those books, too.

  11. I am older than you are and maybe that explains why I no longer feel like a fake, I know (finally) who I am.
    I also know Christmas time is for friends and family, not for working, if you are lucky.
    My son arrived from Toronto today and we will be driving 350 miles to celebrate with one “set” of relations on Saturday, then have the other “set” here at home Christmas Day.
    Looking forward to all the fun, food, and frenzy of the season, and wishing you and your family and friends a wonderful holiday. Jane, there is no doubt you are a real writer who is taking a well-deserved break by taking the holidays off and re-charging for the new year. ENJOY!

  12. Hi Jane,

    Your post rang so, so true with me. I’ve written two YA books (with a big publisher, too) and I still feel like I’m a fraud. That those were my two shots and now they’ve passed. The difference between us? I’ve been working on manuscripts the last two years with nothing accomplished. And you? You have three books coming out!

    Never feel guilty for having time off, because that’s what it sounds like to me. ;o)

    In the meantime, cookies have been created and dispensed, school festivals have been volunteered at and are now done with, and now I’m trying to figure out a way to get out of making Christmas dinner. It’s just the three of us and I swear that sugar is oozing out of my pores!!! I want a salad and a tall glass of water!!!!!

    Have a great holiday.
    Susan

  13. You are a wonderful writer and I can’t imagine being dissapointed in your work! I agree with your friend and believe it is the fear of failing. I have issues with that as well…and I don’t have these deadlines and fans like you do, so I can only imagine how high my anxiety would be if I were in your shoes. I think you do a great job of keeping yourself together under all the pressure of your job, family, life! Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and the best in 2012! Thanks so much for the Christmas card – your family is beautiful!

  14. The “faking it” thing is so real. I remember watching a made-for-tv movie years ago about several super smart women who made it into the astronaut programme and this one girl just felt like she was faking the whole thing, that she didn’t deserve to be there, that it wasn’t real. I completely related to what this fictional character said, and I still do. Is it more a female thing I wonder?
    Have a great Christmas, Jane. Sounds like you will for sure.

  15. Hi Jane: Love your posts, and I miss your books. I still need to read your latest, but three kids keep me busy. I’m also a writer and I never tell people for the very reason you pointed out. I don’t feel like a real writer. I especially feel fake because my agent has yet to sell my book. So I will never feel like a writer until it’s sold. But I also agree that it’s a fear of failing. And of course, as woman, I think we beat ourselves up about everything all the time.

    Hope you have a wonderful holiday with your family, and a happy, healthy 2012!

  16. Jane,
    We all love your books. I think we all feel like you do at times. It’s nice to know you feel the same as all of us. We all can’t wait for your next books.
    Happy Holidays to you and your family.

  17. hi jane. hope you have the merriest of Christmases. i sometimes feel like an imposter when i have the blues; i forget to remember what i have gone through in my life and what i have accomplished. i hear what people perceive of me, and when i am down, i just don’t see it. when the clouds lift, the truth is revealed. thank you so much for the gift of you. enjoy your holidays and i hope you enjoy the books you bought. (i just finished nora roberts newest.) take care.

  18. Hi Jane!

    I think it happens to all women. We tend to lack confidence from time to time. We are so used to putting everyone else first that we forget we are who we are!

    And you, my friend, are an amazing writer! Have loved every one of your books I’ve read! And, of course, I love that you bring a little Visalia into each of them!

    Enjoy your time with friends and family this holiday season! There’s always tomorrow for writing! Enjoy today!

    Amy

  19. “When will they figure out I’m a fraud?”

    Yeah, I get that. It comes from the well of self doubt drawn up by the fear monkey. We don’t trust ourselves or our talent – we don’t value ourselves simply for being the wonderful, talented, kick-ass women we are. If I do say so myself.

    For my part, I always think “if I can do it anyone can” not because it’s easy but because I don’t find myself to be all that special. If I can do it, anyone can, ergo it can’t be that big a whoop. And neither can I. Which is a crock, but the fear monkey doesn’t care, and the well of doubt is deep and overflowing.

    Of course, we’re all afraid of failing. Sometimes, I’m more afraid of succeeding b/c then it gets real and stops being a pie in the sky dream.

    We are, none of us, imposters, least of all you. Take your break, enjoy your boys (and Megan!)and get cracking anew in 2012 with no more monkeys jumping on the bed.

    As for the holidays, it’ll be Mom and me as always with a dinner here and a wee party there. For the most part, I’ll be finishing revisions, prepping the WIP to send to beta readers in the new year so I can break book 2 in January. Busy, busy, busy.

    Have a blessed and joyous Christmas, Jane, filled with unending love.

  20. I’m so grateful and honor to meet, know and have you Jane ! you are one incredible author, sweet and caring, and treat your fans like your friends, even we’ve never met 🙂

    Have a great and blessed holiday with your loved ones !

  21. Jane,

    You are so not a fraud, you are a wonderful writer! That being said, I think all of us feel like and imposter at different points in our life. So glad that you have family and friends coming to visit you. I agree life is always better when you have people to enjoy the Holidays with. Here I just have a few friends and my parents, and sometimes I really miss those big family holiday get togethers. Hope that you start to feel better soon and enjoy your new books.

    Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

    Kim

    PS I love my prize package from the Munich contest! It was a great birthday present. Thank You!

  22. Jane, my friend!

    I love that they had all of your chick lit (non romance) titles in one place at one time. Very cool…I love to see your books on the shelf, or when they pop up in the suggestion lines on Amazon. Makes me happy: I know that author, she’s my friend!

    You’re a real writer, Jane! And a mom, and a wife, and someone who cares about others; that takes time away. It should definitely be OK to take a break, but I can only imagine how unnerving deadlines can be.

    Know your friends, readers and reader-friends will all be here with the rah-rah squad when you need it.

    Have a blessed Christmas filled with those you love.
    xoxo
    Shannon in Tustin

    **no contest

    1. Shannon,

      Your way with words are so heartfelt and so true!! Love ya Sweetie! Miss you! Funny how a few days can make us friends across the country, huh?
      Cindy

  23. You are not a faker! Really, my friend and I were just talking about how we can’t wait for your new book – and again, how wonderfully friendly and down to earth you always are when we see you. Enjoy your break, enjoy your family and friends, and don’t even think twice about it.

    But I can relate, from the career standpoint. I worked very hard to make my career goals and I was damn good at what I did. Then life and health and all kinds of things happened, and I’m not that person any more. But I haven’t been able to let go of that identity completely. I just need to get back to working on the next phase, and stop looking backwards.

    Christmas is happening whether I’m ready or not. 🙂 Next year I just want to take a vacation and relax and rest and enjoy the season.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family! And thank you for the Christmas card, it’s beautiful and another thoughtful gesture.

    SharonA

  24. I feel like an imposter at work ‘dos’. I’m not great in social settings like that. I feel self conscious & uneasy.

  25. Absolutely I feel like an imposter. It’s getting better though now since I have my first cover art and a book coming out in a couple of months. But, fake it ’til you make it, and you’ve definitely made it, Ms. Porter!

  26. OMG Jane, you are FAR from an imposter. You need to take a break every so often to rest your mind and soul. Doing so doesn’t make you an imposter, it makes you a human!!! I think you should change the word imposter with perfectionist. You want to make sure that everything is not only done, but done correctly and to the liking of your fans. You are an amazing author and a fabulous friend. Keep doing what you’re doing because it’s obviously working. xoxoxo have a wonderful Christmas in beautiful Hawaii 🙂

  27. Jane,

    You are too hard on yourself. You are definitely not an imposter. You are such a talented author and an overall amazing person. You juggle so many things in your life and still have time for your fans. That is why we all adore you. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy New Year.

  28. Jane, I think almost every woman feels like an imposter at some time.
    Now that both my girls are grown I don’t feel like a mother any more even though I know I raised them, took them to school everyday. Waited for hours in a dance studio,band practice, football game. You get the picture. If just doesn’t feel real. I think the stress of the holidays is getting to me,in a BIG way. I always loved the holidays but the past few years I find myself wishing I could hide away.
    The past couple of weeks have been non stop and today is no different.

    Gotta go. You take care and know that we your readers and fans know you are most definitely not a imposter.

    Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas. 🙂

  29. How cool is that to go to a Barnes and Nobles and see all your books there? That right there shows that you are NOT an impostor. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and a blessed new year.

  30. merry christmas to you and your family! love the christmas card, thank you. have a great time w/a housefull of family and friends…no you’re not an imposter.

  31. Jane you are a great writer and a good mother for the the things you have to do an keep up with it is normal to feel like an imposter.

    I like you love having family and friends fill my home at christmas time and anytime of the year!

    Wishing you and your family a happy holiday season!

  32. Merry Christmas!I don’t feel that yur a fake just because your not writing..your just taking a break and enjoying the time with your family and friends, were all hard on ourselves..were our worst enemy,I know I’m feeling like a failure..my marriage is over and not working sure I’m doing odd jobs to make ends meet but not working with kids that I love to do…my daughter is a senior in high school, and I want to do so many things with her like i did with her brother-and I can’t, I feel that I’m letting her down, she is my biggest fan always in my corner building me up and my son too. The other night Kenny tried getting me 2 kids to attend in my daycare so over vacation since she needs to work they willbe under my care until school starts…they both tell me not to give-up! I feel all women feel this way, we need to do it all, which we do as a mom,too! Enjoy the moments for they go by so fast! Merry Christmas to you and your lovely family!

  33. Jane,

    You are not an imposter…Everyone deserves a break and I am assuming that writing must take a lot out of you mentally!! You put so much of you into your books that I have not problem assuming this. I feel honored that you count me as a friend/reader.
    I am headed to my 2nd grader’s holiday party at school soon and then starting to bake and have kids friends over this afternoon after school. Tomorrow is all about cleaning and baking before Christmas Eve.
    Aside from the October snow storm that crippled NJ, we have had really mild weather here. Kind of weird but maybe it’s a reprieve after our winter last year!!
    Received your Christmas card yesterday and have it proudly displayed with all the others. It’s gorgeous and chic just like you.
    Have a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year!!
    Love ya!!
    Cindy

  34. Jane,
    You are a wonderful person, caring and special. You are a talented and creative writer who gives me hours of pleasure and enjoyment just immersing myself within your books. Your doubts are natural but you are too hard on yourself. give yourself credit, enjoyment and fun. Have a wonderful Christmas, enjoy your family and friends and have a great New Year.

  35. Believe me Jane when I say you ARE a writer and I love your books.

    I am just now getting back into the Christmas thing. My father in law passed away on the 12 so its been a sad time for us. Life goes on and we are all trying for the best possible Christmas this your.

    I hope you and yours have a very Happy Holiday Season!

  36. Jane, you are not an imposter. You are a wonderful writer and wonderful person. I love seeing the photo of your books there at the bookstore. I hope you are feeling better. It sounds like you have some lovely plans for Christmas and the New Years.

  37. I always feel like an imposter. I believe people think I’m not a real mom because I only have one kid. I’m not a real blogger because I can’t make a living from it. And I’m certainly not a real writer because I don’t have an agent or publisher yet. Because it all must be so easy.

    Maybe that’s what drew me to acting years ago. I was supposed to be an imposter, so I didn’t have to worry. The words and actions were fed to me, not my responsibility.

    You are a prolific WRITER. Have no doubts. You are the real thing.

    Best wishes to you and yours over the holidays. Enjoy your visit with Magen (I love her too).

    Cheers.

  38. To me you are the most sincere, kindest, concerned and unpretentious person I have ever known. January is almost upon us and you don’t have much time to enjoy so please try not to be on a guilt trip while you get this precious time to be with family and friends during the holidays. Knowing you, your whole being will be placed into the writing, when the time comes. So, enjoy the now time you have and no more ‘fraud or imposter’ thoughts…you are the very best! Have a wonderful and safe Holiday. Thanks so much for the wonderful Crazy Happy and Busy Family card. You are truly loved and blessed and I am so happy for you…Ruth

  39. My son is home from college and today is actually his twenty first birthday. I hope your holidays are lovely ones Jane and I think you probably don’t like to be away from your work. We will be visiting my sister for Christmas and she has two little ones who I love to see. Merry Christmas to everyone!

  40. The only imposter here is the weather…hot and rainy. Not the Christmas weather that inspires songs and sweaters. Have a lovely Christmas!

  41. I am taking a few days off from work to spend time with my family. It is so wonderful to have everyone together for Christmas. My children are almost grown.
    Hope your family has a wonderful Christmas.
    Thanks for bringing happiness to my life. It is wonderful to escape the everyday grind with one of your books.

  42. You’re a great writer to all of us, not an imposter at all! And I love the way you connect with us through your books, but also through your blog & all the ways you reach out to us.

    Merry Christmas, Jane!

  43. You are a real writer and we all love what you write! I was reading Molly Wizenberg’s blog the other day (she wrote A Homemade Life which is a good book!) and she said she is reading Stephen King’s book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. She included an excerpt and it sounded so good that I checked the book out of the library. Molly is writing her second book now and talks about her struggles. Writing is not an easy job! Thanks for doing it. And, Merry Christmas!

  44. I don’t think I feel the “fake” writer thing, but I feel like I will run out of time to get more books out there as I’m growing older. Or, I’ll feel frustrated with things (important or not) that can get in the way of getting words on the page. I gotta stop that:-)

  45. Hi Jane. You are a wonderful writer. I think we all feel like imposters at times. I hope you and your loved ones have a wonderful holiday.

  46. Yes, this is real. You’re not an imposter. But, I know what you mean. Sometimes I wonder if I am living the life I was meant to be living. Some days I feel there is something else I should have been doing. But, where do you get the courage to change your life once you reach my age? I just don’t know. I feel I’m too old to start over, but too young to keep staying stuck in this rut I’ve been in for years. I believe my problem is like you said, fear of failing. I have never been very good at anything I have done. I fear of letting people down too. So, I stick with what I know best, stay at home catmom.

  47. Hi Jane,
    I think you should not doubt you abilities as a writer. You have all your rbooks to prove it and the movie. I think you should just enjoy your long break, it means that your body and mind really need it. Women have a really hard time to listen to their body. In January, with you batteries recharged, you will sprint to the finish line.
    Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  48. We are taught that we should be busy but taking time or not just doing is okay too. I finally read two books on the way up to adopt our second dog from a rescue in Rapid City SD. 10 hours of driving up and back. The time is worth it and the reading was fun. You had me at Woof! was about a Boston Terrier rescue group. Didn’t know it when I grabbed it to read…you never know! Sitting and just listening, not “faking” just time off is okay for all of us. Enjoy that time – you probably deserve it!! Happy Holidays.

  49. Poser, NOT! You are feeling guilty for taking time and recharging your batteries. We all know you are the energizer bunny but honestly we know you are also human. Take this time to enjoy your family and friends and have yourself a wonderful holiday, you’ve earned it. Thank you for providing us all with great books to read.

  50. Hi Jane! Not too excited for Christmas this year…both of my kids will only be stopping by for a few hours Christmas day & I’m used to them being here, so kinda down. I almost didn’t even bother to put up the tree for just me & the cat, but I did it anyway… it is pretty to look at. Sounds like you will be having a great time, and you deserve it…seems like you’re always on the go! So enjoy your family & friends & have a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! : )

  51. Wishing you and Ty and the boys the happiest of holidays. Wonderful that Megan and dh will also be joining you.

    2012 brings joy for me with your new women’s fiction and Presents for me to read and review. Have a great Christmas and Happy New Year, Jane.

  52. Definitely not an imposter. Your writing is one of your MANY talents – but doesn’t define you as the amazing person you are. Don’t beat yourself up because you took time for yourself and your family. You needed it, and they needed you.
    Taking time for your family is one of the many things we love about you and I think makes you even better at your craft.
    We’ll be here when you’re done. :o)

    We are frantically doing last minute shopping today and tomorrow, had to wait on those pesky paychecks to finish. lol And I’m trying to finish a quilt for my daughters boyfried who I have very lukewarm feelings about,
    and on top of that – we don’t have any snow! I love Christmas, but this year has been rough. My one happy moment was getting to read “One Christmas Night in Venice”, and I LOVED it! Thanks for a great story that helped me recharge a bit – I really needed it.

    I hope Christmas with your men and Meg are wonderful.

    peace out

  53. Hi Jane! I think we all feel like imposters at some time in our lives. Although, I don’t think you are one. 🙂 I love your work and look forward to every book you write. You work so hard with writing, family, fans, and balancing it all. I would be totally overwhelmed if I were in your shoes. I hope you enjoy the holidays and relax and have fun – you deserve it! Merry Christmas!

  54. As the saying goes, “this too shall pass”. Just hang in there and enjoy the holidays(Merry Christmas).

    What a woman thinking of gifting readers at this busy time; thanks so much.

    We are ready for Christmas here and look forward to good things in the new year.

  55. Hi Jane,
    We are doing no traveling this year for Christmas and do have to admit, my couch, blanket, & a good book are looking quite welcoming.
    Hope you and yours have a great one!

    Love,
    Melinda

  56. Dear Jane: You are many things – a wife, mother of three boys, world traveler, friend to many, wonderful daughter, wonderful sister, great writer to name a few but imposter – NO! NEVER! Just because you take a few weeks off? You have always been too hard on yourself – just enjoy your time with your family and friends. You seem to do your best writing while under pressure. Happy Holdays to you and your family!

  57. An imposter? Not from my point of view! But insightful comment that you did not feel this way in other jobs. That means something. Right now I am too busy to feel like an imposter but I am afraid of failure and seek perfection in self-defeating ways.

    Merry Christmas Jane!

  58. Merry Christmas Jane to you and your family. Thank you for the card and bookmark.
    You have made me think with your question about feeling like an imposter. Yes, I have felt that way. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I am a mother….even though I have been one for 14 years now. Sometimes I actually wonder about being a teacher and almost panic thinking, “This is so much responsibility…am I really as capable as they think I am?” Which the answer to that is yes, but I have stopped in my tracks and doubted myself or wondered about it all sometimes. When we are “in the groove” and doing what we do well, it’s almost automatic or even an out of body type experience. It can be baffling.
    I met with my lifelong friends yesterday – 5 other women who I have known for over 30 years. We meet once a year around Christmas and then spend 4 days at the beach together each summer. These are such wonderful times for me to spend with some amazing women.
    I just came in from some last minute shopping, and it is getting crazy out there! Lots of traffic and last minute shoppers. I am waiting until much later this afternoon to even attempt the grocery store.

  59. Impostor, you – no way! You are being too hard on yourself. I love your work and you are such a great mom, wife, and are amazing to your fans! I hope you, your family and friends have a Merry Christmas!

  60. Yes, I feel like an imposter. As a daughter. Today, on Christmas Eve, I am helping my father move into a nursing home. I can’t begin to express the sorrow and guilt I am feeling. I am miles away from my home in Puyallup and I am grateful that my youngest daughter, 16, is with me now. We are doing all we can for my father, knowing that at the end of this year, we go back to WA, leaving him alone. The story is long, the pain is deep, and there are no other alternatives. I had begged him to move up to WA with me…I am an only child and I feel like a failure.

    1. Kirsten, you are not a failure or an imposter. You are doing the best you can for your father. My husband and I have been moving grandparents into retirement and care facilities, it feels like for years, and it never gets easier. Next up are our parents, mine will likely be first, though his step dad may need emergency care soon. Having siblings is not going to make it easier for me with my parents, the responsibility will still be all on my shoulders. It is difficult, but you are there and you are trying. Best wishes to you and your family – Hugs, SharonA

  61. Hi Jane,
    It sounds like being/feeling like an imposter is a common theme among women. I know I feel like an imposter too. It is so frustrating! I know I am a competent professional but some days I feel like I doubt everything I do or say! Not good for a person in crisis communications!

    This too shall pass. The waiting is the hardest part…
    Merry Christmas,
    Michelle
    In snowy Colorado

  62. The times I feel like an impostor is when someone else runs over me with words or thoughts. Maybe more like making me feel less of a person and embarrassed, so I just stay quiet and withdraw.

    Love the picture of your book! Yes, you should feel very proud, you do good work. Always believe in yourself. XO

  63. Merry Christmas to you and your family Jane! I love your card:)
    I feel like an imposter when people think I’m Mrs. Perfect, when inside, i’m really just doing the best I can to hold it together. Thus, the many late nights this week trying to bake, get teachers’ presents, finishing my boys’ gifts, etc …thank you for always caring about us.
    Love ya,
    Stephanie

  64. Hi everyone,

    It’s been a wonderful Christmas Day so far here in Hawaii with my pal Megan. I hope today has brought you great joy too!

    Here are the winners –
    #17 Joanne G
    #42 Linda Mc
    #68 Kirsten

    Send me an email with your mailing info and I’ll get prizes in the mail soon.

    Have a wonderful evening and a beautiful Christmas night!!
    love you all,
    Jane

  65. Congratulations to the winners.
    Jane, you are far from an imposter, you are talented, giving and have such a huge caring heart to your fans.
    I do know the feeling, as years ago I lived a different life where I had to “put the public act on”. Now, it’s living real!
    Heres to a great new year to everyone 🙂

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